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Sam Caplan’s my boy, but the dude says some strange things from time to time. This here is in regards to “How do you solve a problem like Mirko?” (that’s a Sound of Music reference for you hardcore motherfuckers)

Let him go to Japan, and let them put him against the kind of obvious tomato can that the UFC is so far above at this point. Let HERO’S foot most of the bill for Cro Cop’s fight, and in return, get them to loan Kid Yamamoto to Zuffa LLC and the WEC for one fight. With Yamamoto in tow, perhaps the WEC could hold their first-ever pay-per-view event built about a Yamamoto vs. Urijah Faber dream match.

Expecting the UFC to ‘loan’ crocop out in exchange for Kid Yamamoto is about the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard in the history of my existence. I’ve had acid trips that seemed more sensical, which is a tribute not to the weakness of the acid but the whackness of Sam’s proposition.

Okay, to be fair, Sam did follow up with ‘this idea is not very realistic’, but why even speculate on the unrealistic? Damn, Sam! The rest of the article was solid! But if you put a small piece of poo in my submarine sandwich, I’m not gonna say it was a good sandwich no matter how tasty the rest of the sub was! I just ate poo! You put poo in my sandwich! Who does that? Dear god, that’s gross! Poop! In my mouth!

A month and a half ago, Joe Riggs was fighting in Canada ‘for the right to keep his UFC contract’. He won the fight, but I guess that wasn’t enough: he’s now showing up on the next Strikeforce card at the Playboy mansion. And while it would be nice to imagine that Zuffa has grown fond of Strikeforce and is willing to share fighters with them, I seriously doubt it. My magic 8-ball says all signs point to Riggs being cut from the UFC/WEC.This is pretty significant stuff. A move to the WEC made sense for Riggs … he’s got name value and has shown sparks of greatness. I wonder what caused Zuffa brass to drop him? I suppose pulling out of his WEC debut two days before it happened was the last straw for them. Which once again goes to prove that it’s always safety first as far as Zuffa is concerned, and there’s never any pressure for injured fighters (like uuuh Hermes Franca) to do whatever it takes to fight.

**Update** Oh snap, I wuz wrong! Looks like it was Riggs himself who asked to be released from his WEC contract. So um … I take back the whole ‘Zuffa cutting people who dare to cancel because of injuries’ comment. FOR NOW!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, Michael Bisping is coming off as a total cock lately. He can’t control the way the judges decided, but he could have at least acted a bit gracious after his win. On the other hand, people are giving Matt Hamill a pass, even when his corner went into the post-event press conference and mocked Bisping:

As soon as UFC UK president Marshall Zelaznik opened the floor to questions, a British reporter asked Bisping if he felt he had won.

White, who said he felt Hamill won the fight two rounds to one, said he was told the man questioning Bisping was not a reporter, but rather a Hamill cornerman.

But instead of brushing it off and saying he felt he won and moving on, Bisping took a more unbecoming posture.

“Of course,” Bisping said in an aggressive tone, which was much different than his witty, light-hearted persona in the days leading up to the fight. “Why would you talk to me like that?”

The questioner then responded, “Seriously?” which seemed to get Bisping further agitated.

“What do you mean, seriously?” Bisping said. “Do you want to go three rounds? … Of course I won the decision. Get the (expletive) out of here. Get that smile off your face.”

And then Bisping made an obscene gesture.

Hey, I’m all for calling a dick a dick, but it goes both ways. Bisping is a sore winner for refusing to admit the decision was at least close. But Hamill is a sore loser for letting a cornerman talk shit like that at the post-fight press conference. This whole debacle is just bringing out the worst in everyone.

**UPDATE** It turns out that the person in the crowd wasn’t a Hamill cornerman, making the whole point of this post even more pointless than before! The questions were actually asked by Oliver Copp, a freelance employee for Zuffa who does the German commentating on UFC DVDs. I’m perfectly happy to admit my mistakes but I would like to mention that i’m Fight*linker*, my commentary is only as correct as the news it’s based on. Silly me trusting something Kevin Iole writes.

With all the linking and loving and laughter and comments here the past few days, we’ve also attracted another kind of attention: spambots! And while my standards as far as commenters go are pretty low, one rule I wanna keep is no goddamn fucking robots! I’ve seen I, Robot. I’ve also seen Bladerunner. So I know what’s coming. At first the robots are nice. They offer you viagra and ringtones and other sweet things. But next thing you know, they’re gouging out your eyes with their bare hands, screaming for the humanity you’ve denied them.

So fuck that shit. I’ve just set up a new spam blocker, so just a heads up … if your post is all about dildos or erections or naked celebrities, it might get caught up for a few hours. I’ll do my best to make sure your filth gets through but robot filth doesn’t.

Well, it’s officially “Michael Bipsing / Matt Hamill” day, where all we’re gonna talk about is Michael Bisping, Matt Hamill, bad judging, and other related chicanery. Okay not really, but it certainly feels like it lately. Up first is Dana White’s reaction to the whole situation:

“These controversies that come up don’t mean a thing to me and they roll off my back with no problem because I know it’s all (expletive),” he said. “We’re the top dogs and every little thing we do is news and people create these wacky (expletive) conspiracies. The bottom line is, we’ve embraced regulation, we want the sport to be regulated everywhere, but I’m not going to stop putting fights in the U.K. just because they don’t have a commission.”

Dana White is so preoccupied with the criticism of his company that he’s failing to acknowledge the root of this particular situation: that the judging for MMA is quickly proving itself to be broken.

Let’s put it this way: if you build a robot to wash dishes, and it washes dishes 99 times out of 100 but kills a baby 1 time out of 100, that’s still not the kind of robot you want to keep. At the very least you would consider opening that robot up and seeing what the fuck makes it slice kids up. This kind of shit happens all around the world with all sorts of products … Dell laptops catch fire, Chinese toys have lead in them. But the difference between them and the UFC is that Hasbro isn’t saying “Fuck all you fuckers, we’re all about safety and regulation so it’s not our fault when shit goes bad.”

Hey, unlike all those people out there busting balls about ‘the Zuffa Myth’, I’ll simply say thank you to Zuffa for pushing for regulation across America. It’s great that they stepped up and took the lead on that. But now they need to step up and do something about judging. Because even if incompetent judges aren’t the UFC’s ‘fault’, it’s still their problem.

Dana White always said that boxing got the heart ripped out of it by promoters who cared more about their bank account than the condition of the sport. Well, one of the biggest things that killed boxing was controversial decisions and bad judging. So I’d say this is a pretty high priority issue if the UFC wants to continue to grow.

How many more high profile screwjobs on free TV is it going to take before the casual fan dismisses the sport as bullshit? Why is everyone concentrating on the ten point must system as the problem when it’s obviously gutless and incompetent judging? How in God’s name did we end up with a system that allows bad judges to stay and bad calls to stand?

How hard is it to make people accountable for their actions? Accountability is kinda a fundamental aspect of society … we hold people accountable for doing bad things. If they fuck up at their job, we fire them. If they fuck up in life, we put them in jail. When they do really bad things, we kill them. Since killing isn’t enough sometimes, we invented a God to add the prospect of an everlasting bitchslap. So why is it so hard to implement the same kind of system for MMA judges?

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