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Hey everyone, it’s Saturday! And you know what that means, right? That’s right! We here at Fightlinker fuck off and get drunk, high, and fondle women of questionable virtue. This leaves you all to your own devices, and I can only hope you won’t try cutting yourselves for attention while we’re out.

But we aren’t all evil. The weekend is also when we repost the little parody ads we stick into the Low Blow every show. The last episode’s bits are

Greasy Xyience Bitch Commercial

Super Extremu Fightu Creamu

Hi guys

Just a quick update … I’m out prepping for the most epic Halloween party in the history of the universe, so I won’t be covering the IFL show. We’ll be checking it out tomorrow night so expect an update about it then.

Oooh, some interesting fallout related to Sean Sherk’s steroids appeal:

Seven tests totaling $3,000 were conducted on supplements Sherk took before his bout against Hermes Franca (Pictures). One such product was the Xyience-branded “Xyience Xtreme Joint Formula.” Five capsules were analyzed according to a report supplied by Don H. Catlin, M.D., president and CEO of Anti-Doping Research, Inc.

“No anabolic steroids were detected in four of the capsules,” Catlin wrote. “In one capsule 1-androstendione was identified.”

It’ll be interesting to see if this grows legs and causes Xyience any problems. God knows, all those stories about Xyience fucking over fighters for sponsorship money haven’t seemed to affect anything.

Fightlinker reader Prozac for Life beats me out on the funny-meter with his top eight suggestions for fixing the IFL. I made a slight tweak to one idea in order to meet federal requirements for homosexual references on this site.

  • Nullify UFC’s Roger Huerta effect and beat the UFC into Mexico. Appease the locals with familiar customs, perhaps settling fights that are too close to be called with the use of blindfolds and piñata sticks.
  • Ben Rothwell in a wig to kickstart the IFL women’s division.
  • Take Japan’s “freakshow fight fixation” to the next level. Forget Giant Silva, Hong-man Choi, and Zulu. How about a perturbed grizzly bear vs a full class of over-caffeinated preschool toddlers?
  • Distribute beachballs to the audience for a more festive atmosphere.
  • Nothing generates publicity like a sex tape scandal. Maybe it’s time for Bart Palaszewski to get caught in the act with Chris Horodecki and take one for the team. This guarantees better sales than the IFL’s “Knockouts” DVD, especially if Chris does his “Polish Hummer” move.
  • 1-up the UFC and move to a 9-sided cage; “Let’s get it on in the nonagon!”
  • Make the fighting area somewhat resemble an obstacle course, perhaps even containing a number of trick mirrors and a moat.
  • Double the number of people interested in the IFL by getting women to watch it; somehow infuse it with babies, celebrity dancing, tampons, and romance while keeping it action-packed.

Well, it’s as official as it’s gonna get without showing up on

White said he’s not going to strip Sherk of his lightweight championship because he is fed up with the California Athletic Commission’s handling of Sherk’s steroids case.

[Dana] said Penn and Stevenson, who said he learned on Tuesday that he and his wife will have another son, will fight for the interim title as the main event of UFC 80 in Newcastle, England, likely on Jan. 19.

Interim belts are pretty stupid in the best of scenarios, and in this case it’s an outright fraud. Since Dana is saying he’s not going to strip Sherk, this fight is nothing more than a glorified #1 contender bout. I bet you BJ Penn’s looking like someone pissed in his pineapple. Stevenson … he’s barely a real contender for the #1 contender spot so I imagine he’s just happy to headline a big show.

**Update** Here’s Kevin Iole talking with Steve Cofield about the whole kebab. LOL at Iole calling them ‘Nanabolic steroids’. But I ain’t holding it against him … I can’t even say EliteXC properly.

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