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Remember a while back when I posted that article about Joe Lauzon weighing 185 pounds 48 hours before a lightweight fight? Well, it turns out it was all part of the head games Joe was playing against his opponent:

Adam Morgan: Yeah, I saw you had some pictures posted up on The Underground Forum where it said you were at roughly 185 about 48 hours out from the fight. Is that true?

Joe Lauzon: That was a big joke. My brother and my roommate Brandon were in the hotel lobby and they heard Reinhardt was getting a little scared, you know, “Joe’s running around at 185! He’s so big!” and all this other stuff. So they started talking like “Oh, I can’t believe Joe’s 185. It’ll be a tough cut but he’ll make it.” So we just sort of ran with it to play on his paranoia a little bit.

Adam Morgan: So what weight were you actually at about 48 hours out?

Joe Lauzon: I was at about 165, something like that.

Adam Morgan: Okay, because I put that picture up and people were wondering “Where does this guy hide thirty pounds?”

Joe Lauzon: Yeah, no, it was my brother standing on the scale holding two bottles of Pedialyte. We switched shorts, we switched socks, we made sure we didn’t move anything. A couple people were making comments about how he had hairier legs than me, but I said “Oh no, it’s just the angle.”

Adam Morgan: So basically what you’re telling me is that you pulled a professional troll job on the Underground?

Joe Lauzon: Always, always.

The closer to the Hatton-Mayweather event we get, the less optimistic everyone seems to be about Hatton’s chances. It’s like it was fun to believe the hype leading up to this fight but now that it’s time to get in the ring everyone is steeling themselves for the reality of the situation.

I on the other hand am sticking to my guns and sacrificing goats to the Elder Gods in the hopes that Hatton takes out that cocky motherfucker Mayweather. Of course, the Elder Gods care not for boxing, no matter how many goats I bleed. So let’s hope this tidbit of info proves prophetic:

Hatton watched as Zab Judah had success with Mayweather by pressuring him early in their 2006 fight at the Thomas & Mack Center. But as Judah tired, Mayweather picked up the pace and won going away.

Hatton has vowed he won’t get tired and will keep the pressure on Mayweather throughout.

“You wonder what might have happened if Zab had been able to sustain that pressure,” Hatton said. “I know I’ll be able to sustain it. We’ll see how good Floyd is when he’s facing that heat.”

I like the MMA Analyst, but man are his articles long. And there are no pretty pictures to look at! If most MMA sites are the literary equivalent of a pop up book, MMA-Analyst is like reading Ayn Rand. Ayn Rand with an annoying RSS feed that reposts her longwinded objectionist bullshit over and over again for some reason.

Anyways, Mr Analyst took the time to write out all of Armando Garcia’s arguments regarding the Sean Sherk case from Sherdog’s radio interview. I guess he heard through the grapevine that his commission had the credibility of a strung out heroin addict at a Money Mart. He went the diuretic 1001 reasons route, but here’s his best arguments boiled down (ew, boiled diarrhea):

  • Quest Diagnostics: Thousands of test per year. Suggesting that their process is flawed, it is an insult to the thousands of people that have tested clean before in California. It suggests that their tests may have been tainted and that person ended up testing clean.
  • Contaminated supplements: “You must be responsible for every single thing you put into your body.”
  • Xyience: Commented that when you bring in a test for a supplement that was positive for a substance that the lab doesn’t even test for, it is a “smokescreen”.
  • Hearing process: Stated he is for the process of giving a fighter rights to an appeal, but not for “clever smokescreens”.
  • Nandrolone levels: 50 ng/mL and 4 ng/mL are both positive, no difference because of the levels.
  • Sherk’s evidence: Presented no evidence to suggest that a supplement produced the nandrolone positive
  • Threshhold: Garcia confirmed the 2 ng/mL threshhold

It’s funny … I actually think Sherk tested positive as a result of tainted supplements. That doesn’t change the fact that he’s guilty … just because you didn’t know you were wearing rocket shoes at the race doesn’t change the fact that YOU HAD ROCKET SHOES FOR THE FUCKING RACE.

The sheer number of supplements Sherk was taking pretty much guaranteed he was gonna be getting some tainted shit somewhere along the line … it’s common knowledge that it’s a huge problem in the supplement industry and all real fighters know the score.

Sherk sealed his fate the second he hired scumbag lawyer Howard Jacobs to represent him. This guy has a history of throwing as much shit at the wall as possible to see what sticks. Of course, the only ‘shit’ that needs to be thrown is ‘the truth’ : Sherk wasn’t sticking needles in his ass, he was taking supplements.

Test the supplements, find the guilty supplement, present it to clear your name of being a willful cheat, take your suspension, sue the supplement company, move on with your life. Oh, and give the fucking belt up so you don’t cripple the lightweight division you selfish fuck.

Past being totally more awesome, the other big difference between me and most of the other sites out there is that I admit when I was wrong. And boy, was I wrong about Mac Danzig. Way back when the show was just starting up I predicted that Mac would get stuffed by a natural welterweight since Mac was really a lightweight.

Of course, you know how things really went: Mac cut through TUF6 like a hot knife through whatever gay substitute vegans use for butter. So here’s me saying “Oops, I was wrong, I should never have doubted you Mac.” In my defense, the only fight I’d actually seen of his up until the show was when he got absolutely drubbed by Mach Sakurai.

**CORRECTION** The mistakes don’t end. He cut through TUF6, not TUF7. Although it would be funny if TUF7 was just all the contestants climbing a gigantic pyramid with Mac at the top beating them up a la the end of Jet Li’s The One. That was a fucking awesome movie, pretty much the only good non-Hong Kong movie he’s ever made.

Here’s an interview with Chuck Liddell’s trainer where he mentions an anonymous training partner that’s helping Chuck train. Obviously I don’t think it’s Paulo Filho unless he’s a whore/prostitute/hypocrite, but BloodyElbow thinks it’s Anderson Silva. Me … if it was an impressive name I think they’d be more forthcoming with the news. My bet is it’s someone like like Jorge Gurgel or something.

Oh yeah, they also mentioned Tony Robbins coming to help out but if you read this site obsessively (LIKE YOU SHOULD BE), you’d have known about that shit last month.

Also, I’ve been looking for an excuse to post this video for a while, but check out John Hackleman’s opinion on blocking kicks and why you shouldn’t bother. If you wanted to boil down Liddell’s loss to Keith Jardine to the root source, I think this video is a pretty good evidence. Thanks to reader Aaron for pointing this out to me!

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