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You’ll never hear me complaining about too many UFC events, but I will complain that they’re not always spaced out the best. Case in point:

  • UFC 80: RAPID FIRE – 01/19/2008
  • UFC Fight Night: Swick vs Burkman – 01/23/2008
  • UFC 81: BREAKING POINT – 02/02/2008

For those of you without a flair for dates, that’s three events in the span of 15 days. And don’t forget that the WEC is scheduled to have an event in February as well. And of course there’s also the Bob Sapp Strikeforce event on the 23rd of February. And whatever EliteXC is up to at the time.

Long story short, there’ll be more MMA than you can shake a stick at! Which is totally awesome so long as we don’t have another two month drought like we did in 2007. I still have nightmares thinking back to those long nights in May and June where I actually contemplated WATCHING IFL BATTLEGROUND! I’d rather be stuck on top of a mountain being forced to eat the bodies of my comrades than go through that again.

Now this is the kind of freakshow match I like to see: tiny skilled dudes vs gigantic monsters of dubious ability. Freakshows don’t really bother me at all … my only problem is when they scrap competitive potential matches in favor of a stupid matches. Fedor vs everyone comes to mind. You just shouldn’t be wasting the time of top-5 pound for pound talent with promotional stunts. But Ikuhisa Minowa vs   Zuluzinho? Now that’s something I can get behind.

Minowaman seems to love these kinds of matchups … the dude has been in more freakshow matches than anyone else I know. He’s never had a problem fighting people 50+ pounds heavier than he was, but it wasn’t until he moved from Pancrase to PRIDE that he gained a reputation for challenging giants. Giant Silva, Kimo, Mirko CroCop, Butterbean, Bart Gunn, and Min Soo Kim are just some of the big boys Minowa has tangled with. And even in defeat, you can’t help but admire his heart. The dude can take a beating.

As for   the fatty Zuluzinho, who cares about him. He’s just a prop, an obstacle the smaller fighter must get past in order for everyone to feel inspired. That’s why putting guys like Crocop and Fedor against these guys isn’t exciting … their skill and size negates any advantage the freaks bring to the table by being freaks. So line me up some more crazy Japanese bastards who are willing to go toe to toe with super-heavyweight behemoths. I’m down like brown for that shit!

The WEC ‘Outside the Cage’ special did an okay job of hyping things up for this Wednesday’s event, giving us a slice of how Paulo Filho lives and trains. I have to say, it’s kinda weird. The above video starts out with Filho getting a visit from the most roid’ed individual I’ve ever seen. The guy looks straight out of Fist of the North Star, and he’s got these nasty gaping wounds on his arm that look infected.

But never mind gangrene, it’s time to train! Paulo’s training is pretty low-tech and involved giving quadruple stack piggy back rides (clearly not a recipe for severe back injuries at all!). The show then cuts to Paulo tossing rusty barbells around his backyard (again … I’m not exactly a safety nut, but…). In fact, I counted over a dozen potential ways to die just from that 3 minute clip. South America ain’t for the soft, that’s for sure.

Unsatisfied with the crop of heavyweight contenders in the present day, M1 president Monty Cox has announced that M1 Global has traveled through time to secure an adequate opponent for their key star Fedor Emelianenko’s US debut in April.

“After months of searching for someone suitable for Fedor’s first match with M1 on US soil, we realized it wasn’t a question of who, but of when!” explains Cox, fresh from a trip through the space time continuum. “After much consultation with senior executives and users on the forums, we came to a decision: Fedor would fight Pedro Rizzo from early 2001.”

A student of early MMA legend Marcos Ruas, Pedro ‘the Rock’ Rizzo sported a 11-1 record in 2001, and was coming off dominant victories over Dan Severn and Josh Barnett. “People keep asking us ‘What about Barnett?’ Well, we’ve got the guy who just beat Barnett … in 2001!” says Cox. “That ought to shut the haters up.”

Fedor Emelianenko was respectful as always in his assessment of 2001 Pedro Rizzo’s skills. “Pedro seemed unstoppable in 2001. The Pedro Rizzo of today may be a washed up has-been, but make no mistake about it: Pedro Rizzo was one of the greatest heavyweights around. In 2001.”

Pending final contractual wrangling, this superfight across the boundaries of time will take place in Las Vegas sometime around April of 2008. As of now, there is still no word on who Fedor’s opponent will be for NYE … speculation holds that former PRIDE employees are currently awaiting the winner of this year’s “Freakshow Awards” and plan to offer the bout to the winner of either the Fattest or Tallest man award.

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