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Minute rumblings over the ‘web have turned into roaring thunder these past few days. The latest hot rumor no one can lock down is that new hotness Denis Kang will be facing old and busted Sakuraba. Of course, the general consensus even on the most asinine of forums is that Sakuraba is likely to die in the ring facing someone like Kang. My feelings is that any man who has survived what Sakuraba has survived simply cannot die. Sakuraba is indeed an immortal, and no matter how badly he may be pulverized by an opponent, he will either pull off an armbar or flying grease accusation for the win.

And come on now … this is Denis Kang we’re talking about. Kang has power in his hands, but he’s not exactly known for thrashing his opponents within an inch of their lives like Wanderlei Silva does. In fact, Kang seems like the kind of guy who’ll respect Sakuraba’s typical pre-fight request to ‘Prease no to be punching me in face’.

Jeez, Nick Diaz doesn’t seem to be allowed to do anything lately. Following his suspension several months ago for smoking the wacky tobacco, he hasn’t been allowed to fight anywhere or even corner his brother for the Ultimate Fighter 5 finale. Apparently it was a really big deal that Nick was even able to attend the show at all!

Now we can add yet another thing to the list of stuff Nick isn’t allowed to do: submission grappling.

The Professional Shooto Japan event, sanctioned by the California State Athletic Commission, is required to comply with suspensions issued by the other Athletic Commissions, and in this case, the Nevada State Athletic Commission, who levied a six-month suspension to Diaz for a positive marijuana test at Pride 33 on February 24.

Jeez, I haven’t heard of anyone being punished this badly since I fed that bag of micro machines to the retard on our school bus. Of course, ‘punishment’ isn’t just a shitty brand of clothing. Apparently the word also means ‘to subject to pain, loss, confinement, etc., as a penalty for some offense’. Regardless of how dumb or legit the offense is, the whole point of a punishment is to piss Nick off. And perhaps if Nick’s parents had tried this ‘punishment’ thing on him and his little brother way back when, they wouldn’t have grown up to be such little jiu jitsu thugs.


(considering the number of times I write about Kevin, I really should have some alternative pictures of him made up … this one just captures his essence though…)

Here’s a prime example of what pisses me off with Kevin Iole. For someone with press credentials so good he could sniff Fedor’s cup after a training session, Iole sure does a shitty job of doing anything worthwhile with them. A while back he swallowed Dana White’s ‘Wanderlei Silva is a pussy’ press junket hook line and sinker, and now a few weeks later he’s still regurgitating the same crap:

He had planned to have Liddell and Silva fight on that date, but when a member of Silva’s Chute Box team told White that Silva didn’t want to fight Liddell at that point, White hastily made the deal with Jardine.

So there’s two possibilities: Iole lives under a rock and didn’t see the 200 videos where Silva explained the situation, or he’s such a buttboy that he’s going to keep selling Dana White’s angle on things rather than, oh I don’t know, do his job and explain what’s really up. As much as I like the idea of Iole under a rock (preferably a large rock dropped from a third or fourth story building), the truth is more likely to be the latter of those possibilities. So here’s to Kevin … 10 more points towards you being the worst MMA reporter of the year.

OH MY FUCKING GOD BEES BEES BEES EVERYWHERE BEES!!!!!

I have vanquished the bees for now…. who knows when they’ll come back though?

TLC tought us all of the mexican corridor the bees took to come to the states, and tracked their movement through the humid areas of middle-south america. But who knew they would develop technology to create a stasis jump, a nexus of space time, and channel the energy of black holes to teleport themselves whereever I am????

This is extremely disturbing. The only scientists who believe me have been horribly stung to death. My only hope is to somehow complete my modular bee-telekenisis device which will allow me to throw my mind into an alternate dimension where i can only hope some bee demi-god resides.

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