No, my little birdies … I have not abandoned ye. However, my excess from yesterday has caught up with me and I am literally pouring jugs of shit out of my ass. Unfortunately for you, I do not have any way to set my computer up in my bathroom so pray to Jeff Blatnick that I recover soon.

On a more positive note, this is a big week: we’ve got our first new Ultimate Fighting Comic going up, and a new podcast as well. Last but not least, we’re going to be having a competition to create the first fightlinker t-shirt. More details when I’m not dripping brown all in my undies.

Canada Day may have been yesterday, but today is the day we Canucks get off. So I’m drunked out, goin over to Jakes to record a new Low Blow with our new micromaphone.

Wow, there’s like … no MMA to watch this weekend. That being said, I’ll probably still find the time to make a few posts over the next few days. For now, here’s all the news I don’t have enough ammo to make fun of in full posts:

TUF Finale Pay is released
It pays to be on the Ultimate Fighter … 8k to fight and 8k to win, specifically. Many people lamented the fact that guys like Monstah Lobstah were making twice as much to lose than Leonard Garcia was making to win. But if you’re paying some TUF guys more than others, it becomes to painfully obvious that the producers just stuck 3 or 4 good fighters in the house with a bunch of entertaining mongoloids to make better TV.

UFC Sues Cage Rage for use of ‘Ultimate Fighting’
Continuing their scorched earth policy, the UFC legal department is suing Cage Rage for using the term ‘Ultimate Fighting’. It seems lately that there’s an easy litmus test to see if Dana White likes you: if he likes you, he buys you. If he hates you, he sues you. Keep that in mind, Sherdog!

Matt Hughes will fight next on NYE
Last year’s Tito vs Chuck NYE show was massive. This year’s show will apparently feature Serra vs Hughes. If this is the main event, my New Year’s resolution will be to stop watching the UFC.

Tito Ortiz Goes to War
Tito Ortiz is off to the Persian Gulf after UFC73 as part of a morale boosting entertainment tour. Jenna Jameson won’t be going with her boyfriend, but Tito is bringing along Justin McCully. Who? Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who doesn’t know. Justin McCully is that fat mullet dude who barely beat Antoni Hardonk at UFN9. I understand though … when you go to the middle east, it’s always smart to bring a bigger target along.

Heavyweights and LHW up next on Ultimate Fighter 6
They’re going to have to do more than this to keep me as a viewer. I barely caught half the episodes of TUF this season, and Matt Serra gives me AIDS in my eyes so I doubt I’ll watch much of season 6. There’s only two ways they could change the format to keep me interested : bring in female fighters or ritually sacrifice losing fighters to Satan. I’d be equally happy with either one.

Josh Barnett’s contract is up in October
Last week’s media roundup noted that Josh Barnett was saying some nice things about the UFC. This opened up the possibility that we might see the Babyface Assassin in action before the end of the year. But this news makes me think he’s gonna sit the rest of his contract out and see how things fall in place. It’s a smart move, but kinda sad. Now if I wanna get my Barnett fix I’ll have to go over to Zach Arnold’s smelly house and watch puresuro with him.

Judgement Day replay on Showtime
If you haven’t already downloaded the show from the internet or watched it on youtube, the Shamrock vs Baroni PPV will be playing on Showtime Saturday night at 10pm. The show is definitely worth watching, if not only to hear all of Mauro Renallo’s stupid witticisms.

Jens Pulver in the WEC
Jens is tired of getting tooled by guys who are walking into the octagon 20 pounds heavier than him, and I don’t blame him. It’ll be interesting to see what he can do at 145 … I can only hope he can beat the shit out of Urijah Faber.

Shogun is okay
Yesterday’s report from GracieFighter of Shogun Rua injuring his knee was kinda true. While the guy did injure himself, it’s apparently not too bad and all is well.

UFC73 Phone Conference
These calls are usually full of new info. The only new tidbit of info from this call is that Wanderlei-Chuck won’t be happening in September and Chuck Liddell will probably be on a November card.

David Heath vs Babalu Sobral
The shitty thing about this match is that it means Renato Babalu Sobral is probably not going to be fighting Mauricio Shogun Rua any time soon. Babalu shouldn’t have much trouble with David Heath … but then again, he literally gave the Jason Lambert fight away. He’s also been showing up around town looking like a big fatty fat fat. So I guess we’ll have to see if Chuck Liddell broke his spirit before I put any faith in him again.

Yeah, I know. I’m all over Ken’s cock. The Shamrocks are to this site what the Hiltons are to celebrity gossip sites.

I’m also uber busy this morning with non-MMA related shit. So if you’ve got some time to kill, I advise you to listen to the newest Fight Opinion radio show, which features an interview with Ken talking about the release. It looks like he’s on the warpath at the moment regarding the way the UFC has treated him. In fact, it seems like everyone this week is discussing how badly Dana White treats them. More on that later today when I have some time. For now, go listen to the show. It’s probably the best MMA podcast out there (after my own, of course!!!!!!!!!)

Adam Morgan from Sprawl’n'Brawl has made my day. I used to think the US would never catch up with Japan in terms of sheer retarded freakshow fights. But thanks to a strong month which has included a Super Heavyweight AIDS match, a felony fighter vs a senior citizen boxer, and now this, I think the USA has taken the lead again.

Check this out: Flyer Front / Flyer Back

Demo is not only skilled in BJJ and boxing … he also happens to be the Dwarf Cage Fighting champion. He’s going up against Nik Sin, who’s part of a midget KISS tribute band. If this was a real fight, I’d give it to Demo. However, considering this event also features George Bush vs Osama Bin Laden and a Ashley Melons wrestling match, I doubt the fight will be real :-(

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