Boy oh boy. After nearly two months of starvation, the MMA buffet is apparently open for business again, starting next week. Let’s take a look at what we’ve got:
- August 24th: ShoXC: Joe Boxer vs Krazy Horse
- August 25th: UFC74: Gonzaga vs Couture
- September 1st: Art of War 3: Pedro Rizzo vs Jeff Monson
- September 5th: WEC: Jens Pulver vs Cub Swanson
- September 8th: UFC75: Rampage Jackson vs Dan Henderson
- September 15th: EliteXC: Robbie Lawler vs Ninja Rua
- September 17th: HERO’S: Middleweight Grand Prix
- September 19th: UFN11: Kenny Florian vs Din Thomas
- September 22nd: UFC76: Chuck Liddell vs Keith Jardine
- September 22nd: Cage Rage 23: Mark Weir vs Paul Daley
My birthday is September 14th … I’ll let you guys know where to send the presents. However, if by some fluke you don’t send any, then fuck you. The Gods of MMA have decided to bless me (and you all by association) with perhaps the craziest month of MMA ever recorded! Rejoice!
What a shitty time for Bodog. First they basically get told to fuck themselves by their Russian partners, and now their shitty TV deal is about to go bye-bye as well. Combine this with all the other bad news swirling around the promotion and you have to wonder how long Bodog is going to be sticking around at it’s current level.
BodogFight has always been something of a very expensive marketing ploy to expose people to Bodog’s main product. Think of Bodog as an octopus, where it’s got many arms (MMA, music, tv) but one body: gambling. Actually, an octopus may be too similar to an octagon, so perhaps we shouldn’t make the comparison or Dana White will sue.
With the explosion of MMA in the United States, it made perfect sense for Bodog to jump on board and use our scene as a vehicle to make their brand known. And it’s worked pretty damned well … half the MMA sites have deals to sign up users to bet on fights, and there’s barely a day that goes by without one article or another regarding Bodogfight. And trust me … those articles are just like free ads to a company like Bodog.
Anyways, everything started coming apart around 9 months ago with the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act, designed specifically to sink foreign organizations like Bodog. While online gambling has always been illegal, this act finally gave authorities the ability to kill a huge chunk of the action by revoking Bodog’s credit card processing. This hasn’t stopped the company dead, Forbes has estimated Bodog’s net worth has been cut almost in half since the act came into power.
So how does that affect you and me? As mentioned before, Bodog products aren’t just Calvin Ayre’s vanity projects. They are all designed to draw people like you and me into ‘the Bodog lifestyle’. Now that people in the US are no longer allowed to do the gambling portion of that lifestyle, there’s no longer much reason for Bodog to continue spending as much money and effort on marketing to us.
Here’s an oldie but a goody: apparently back in 2001 Brock Lesnar was arrested for receiving steroids in the mail:
Hit with a trafficking in controlled substances charge, Lesnar was exonerated when tests showed that the seized pills were not, in fact, steroids. While a Louisville detective told TSG that the material was some kind of growth hormone, Lesnar’s defense attorney, Scott Cox, characterized the confiscated pills as a “vitamin type of thing.” According to Cox, officers seemed “very apologetic” when lab results cleared Lesnar. It is unclear how investigators concluded that the parcel sent to Lesnar may have contained illicit substances.
Hmm … let’s see. Did the 400 pound man use human growth hormones or just a lot of vitamins? I seriously have to get me some of the shit these guys are using. I’m like 220 pounds, but I look more like Butterbean than Brock.
Everyone wants to know where Andrei Arlovski is. Well, the answer is simple: he’s riding the fucking bench until Dana decides he’s learned his lesson. What lesson? I dunno really. Stop sucking it up in the Octagon? Sure, Arlovski’s third bout with Tim Sylvia was pretty terrible. But I’m pretty sure one of the muscles in Andrei’s leg snapped off the bone and rolled up like an old window blind in the first round. I’m not 100% sure on this, just shooting from the hip. I’d look it up on google but I’ve drank 3 energy drinks and can barely sit down, let alone do research.
So, Andrei’s shit match vs Tim Sylvia had more to do with Tim than with Andrei. Then Andrei smashed Marcio Cruz in a pleasantly aggressive manner, so no complaints there. Then he faced off against Fabricio Werdum, which drew out to a really boring decision. I’m pretty sure this match was when the UFC decided Andrei wasn’t earning his paycheck. But when you think about it, there’s been lots of other guys who have done far worse than Andrei who are still fighting. Josh Koscheck’s inaction against Diego Sanchez and Forrest Griffin’s gun shy dance with Hector Ramirez come to mind. I mean, for fucks sake … Josh couldn’t beat a guy who just found out he probably had Hep C. And don’t even get me started on Forrest’s inability to finish that Latino Pillsbury dough boy.
Come to think of it though, both Josh and Forrest ARE getting punished in a way. Josh is the unfortunate rebound fight for Georges St Pierre. And Forrest is being sacrificed to the almighty god known only as “Shogun”. Sure, the past 6 months have taught us that anything can happen, but I rate their chances of not getting wrecked the same as a snowball’s chance in Hell. I guess it comes down to this: Dana White can’t punish Arlovski by making him a stepping stone … the Pitbull is simply too good for that to be a realistic plan. So the other option is to bench him, and that’s what they’re doing.
What a shitty summer for Hong Man Choi. Things started off so well … between his retiring of Gary Goodridge and a huge payday in store for K1 Dynamite, he must have been flying high. Of course, that all unravelled when the CSAC denied his fighter’s license because of a tumor on his pituitary gland. With that, his paycheck for headlining Dynamite went kaput along with his chances for ever getting sanctioned in the US again. To add insult to injury, now it looks like the CSAC is accusing Choi of falsifying past MRIs to be sanctioned in Las Vegas:
The paperwork filed with the Nevada State Athletic Commission (NSAC) showed a “perfect MRI” without a tumor, said CSAC Executive Officer Armando Garcia, whereas the MRI results taken this year clearly showed the presence of a tumor roughly 2 cm wide. Logically, this could mean only two possible scenarios: a) the MRI submitted in California was doctored, or b) a tumor appeared within a year, which is plausible, but unlikely as Choi admitted to having a tumor since high school.
Choi’s shitty summer doesn’t end there. Apparently all this kerfuffle in America is causing waves in Korea, with Choi at the centre of a moral debate:
Following the news report that stressed the life-threatening severity of acromegaly and gigantism, of which Choi is claimed to be suffering from, he has since gone into seclusion, resurfacing just once to hold an interview with ISplus.com and express his resentment towards the Korean media, which he claims has painted a malicious and erroneous depiction of his illness.
“I’m a human being too,” he said. “Like everyone else I want to live a long and healthy life. I’m the kind of person who believes your health is more important than money. Why would I have jumped into K-1 if I thought I was going to die in a few years? If I felt that there was even a 0.01 percent possibility, I’d walk away.
“I’m thankful people are concerned, but right now I just want to leave the country and live overseas,” wailed an indignant Choi in response to accusations of the moral depravity in risking one’s health for money.
I don’t know why, but I feel bad for Hong Man Choi. I understand there’s obvious safety issues in letting a dude with a tumor in his head fight. But somehow I think this is all bunk … I have a feeling you could hit Choi with a bus several times and he’d be just fine. And if he dies and they ban busses, oh well big deal. I hate the bus anyways. They always throw me off it when I try to touch the old women. Stuffy bastards.