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Look like I’m not the only person who isn’t the biggest Kevin Iole fan in the universe. Sure, he redeemed himself from being a total cockgobbler with his steroid articles, but he still writes a lot of whack shit. Considering he’s making a decent living writing garbage like that I’m here wallowing in my own filth writing MMA’s equivalent of War & Peace, it’s kinda annoying. And finally, someone else agrees with me: Dr J from MMA HQ.

I’m glad more people are throwing their hat into the MMA Asshole ring. For a while I was worried it was just going to be me, Luke Thomas, and Zach Arnold (although he’s more of a grinch than an asshole, technically).

Without athletic commissions, I’d barely have anything to write about. So I’m very happy to welcome the Mohegan Sun Athletic Commission to the list of commissions to watch when it comes to fucking shit up and causing drama. And boy, what drama! Friday started out just like any other days for the Global Fighting Championships. Little did they know, the letters GFC were cursed! Check this shit out:

Mark Kerr and Edwin Dewees, both scheduled to fight on the main card of tonight’s Global Fighting Championships’ event in Connecticut, were removed from the card by the Mohegan Sun Athletic Commission.

Kerr, according to manager Ken Pavia, passed all of his physicals leading up to the fight and had been training diligently to face Sean O’Haire. During the routine pre-fight physical at the weigh-ins yesterday, results indicated that his blood pressure was elevated.

Pavia said that Kerr’s team requested that his blood pressure be re-measured with digital equipment, but that their request was denied and Kerr will not be allowed to fight tonight.

They pulled him out due to elevated blood pressure? That’s certainly a new one. Typically they tell you to lay off the bacon, not stop you from competing in athletic competition. And the request for a remeasure with digital equipment implies they denied him based on one of those old-school hand pump units alone. Goddamn. But wait, it gets better:

The Global Fighting Championships premiere event has been cancelled, one hour before the first touch of gloves was to have taken place in the ring. The event was scheduled to begin at 8 PM EST/5 PM PST at the Mohegan Sun Arena, within the popular east coast casino and hotel.

Joseph Smith, public relations manager for the Mohegan Sun, said the night was canceled due to “insufficient bouts.” Pressed for details, Smith said that there simply weren’t enough bouts for the commission to allow the event to take place. He could not comment on how many fights were canceled or how many fighters were disqualified from participating.

I really don’t know what to say. The commission canceled the event because they disqualified so many of the fighters? That’s literally insane. It’s not like these are out of shape tubbies here … most of these guys other than Mark Kerr are dedicated professional fighters! To have so many fighters out on health issues smells ultra-fishy, especially considering two of them were denied for such bullshit reasons.

Well, congratulations Mohegan Sun: you’re officially more sketchy than the CSAC when it comes to mixed martial arts events.

Any question that Dana is a total Pride ‘mark’ (terminology used by pro wrestling fans to denote total retard fanboy adoration) has been blown away by the whole OMGBBQ WE SIGNED WANDY thing. There’s the official article, the official video, the official email … I was half expecting Dana to phone me squealing like a girl who was just kissed by Ricky Martin.

The interesting thing about all this is that for the past year, Dana White has been trashing Silva every chance he got, calling him washed up, devalued, over the hill, and on and on and on. But there’s no mistaking that gaa-gaa gleam in his eye as Wanderlei signed his 4-page contract.

And hey, a 4-pag contract? I would have expected UFC contracts to be a 200-page manual the figther signs with his own blood. And then when the pen leaves the page, the signature explodes with golden light and a ball of energy gets ripped out of the fighters chest and goes into Dana’s hand. Ya know, just like in the Little Mermaid when Ariel signs her voice away to Ursula the sea witch.

I’m on a plane to Tennessee, so no more jollies for you until tonight. I know, things have been so out of whack lately. But as I mentioned in the last post … September is going to be a goooooooooooood month :-)

Boy oh boy. After nearly two months of starvation, the MMA buffet is apparently open for business again, starting next week. Let’s take a look at what we’ve got:

  • August 24th: ShoXC: Joe Boxer vs Krazy Horse
  • August 25th: UFC74: Gonzaga vs Couture
  • September 1st: Art of War 3: Pedro Rizzo vs Jeff Monson
  • September 5th: WEC: Jens Pulver vs Cub Swanson
  • September 8th: UFC75: Rampage Jackson vs Dan Henderson
  • September 15th: EliteXC: Robbie Lawler vs Ninja Rua
  • September 17th: HERO’S: Middleweight Grand Prix
  • September 19th: UFN11: Kenny Florian vs Din Thomas
  • September 22nd: UFC76: Chuck Liddell vs Keith Jardine
  • September 22nd: Cage Rage 23: Mark Weir vs Paul Daley

My birthday is September 14th … I’ll let you guys know where to send the presents. However, if by some fluke you don’t send any, then fuck you. The Gods of MMA have decided to bless me (and you all by association) with perhaps the craziest month of MMA ever recorded! Rejoice!

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