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Oh Kevin Randleman. What would I do without you? Back in the salad years of my blogging, you were there using dog urine or dead person urine or SOMETHING for your tests. And now a laundry list of charges which can best be described as an epic bender interrupted midway through by the Fuzz:

Malicious destruction of private property
Intimidating a police officer
Being under the influence of a controlled substance
Driving without a valid license
Failure to drive in a travel lane
Driving under the influence of liquor and/or drugs
Speeding 21 to 30 miles per hour over the posted speed limit

According to the detention center’s Victim Information and Notification Everyday hotline, Randleman is also charged with possession of narcotics and an undisclosed gambling offense.

I like Kevin because he proves that no matter what your background, there’s a good chance you’re a fucking juicer. Randleman is a three-time All-American and two-time national champion wrestler at Ohio State University, and my bet is he juiced his way through that just like he juiced his way through MMA competition. Just because he wasn’t caught back then doesn’t mean he wasn’t doing it. And I bet there’s a whole bunch of other guys in the UFC with wrestling backgrounds and stunning minor-league MMA experience who are in the same boat.

So APPARENTLY Kevin Iole is having this thing where WE write HIM questions for DANA WHITE and Kevin picks out THE BEST and asks Dana. This would be a pretty exciting proposition except for the fact that this basically puts a retard filter between us and The Bald One. There’s no fucking way Kevin’s gonna pitch anything other than softballs to his patron. What, and risk losing face time on the UFC Countdown shows?

Don’t believe me? Kevin’s already did the same thing with Floyd Mayweather. Here’s some excerpts from the hard hitting questions Iole selected for that one:

Floyd, I believe you are the most talented and skilled fighter of this generation. I also believe you could possibly be the greatest boxer of all-time. People continue to criticize your obviously impressive resume, which is wrong. Your resume, however, does not qualify you as the greatest of all-time. At the age of 30, you are still in your prime and will be for the next few years.

Cotto will jack you up. You’re a runner, not a fighter.

Great, useless fawning or just easily dismissed stupidity. And the answers all come from the cookie cutter press run:

Chad, thanks for the support. After I beat Hatton on Dec. 8, I will make the best and biggest fight out there for the fans, whomever it is. But my sole focus is on beating the crap out of Ricky Hatton.

My fight with Hatton will be a very exciting fight for the fans.

I went on a nationwide tour after the Oscar fight to speak with kids in number of cities. Everywhere I went, my fans urged me not to retire.

Anyways, even though it’s probably futile, I plan on taking some time to think up some hard hitting emails as soon as this cough medicine wears off. Unless of course I imbibe another bottle in about 45 mins. Then I may never get around to that. So once again I turn to you, my faithful readers: what kinda questions should we send to Dana? And we’ll see if Iole’s got the testicles to toss his master some questions from

By now everyone’s heard the rumors that Fedor has signed with HERO’s, rumors which of course have been denied by everyone with any insight into the real situation at the moment. But there was something I read in one article that peaked my interest:

Such a signing is indeed possible for Hero’s, which is backed by the mighty K-1 organisation – the Worlds largest Mixed Martial Arts events organisers – yes bigger even than the UFC. K-1 typically get 40,000 – 50,000 live spectators at their largest events in Japan, and their events are screened live on terrestrial television to millions of loyal Japanese fans.

Hmmm. K-1 bigger than the UFC? Is that actually true in any sense? Do they make more money? Do they draw more people over the course of a year? Do more events? Reach more people? Any insight is helpful. I spent 15 minutes on Google and Wikipedia looking into that but then started reading about flying squirrels. The term flying squirrel is actually kinda misleading, as the squirrels actually glide, not fly. So long story short: any insight into the question is appreciated.

So that dude with no arms or legs was denied a license from whatever liquor store doubles as the Georgia State Athletic Commission. And of course that dude is now going to appeal, and if necessary, sue. I’d feel worse for this particular guy if right at this exact moment there wasn’t a fully capable seven foot tall Korean guy also denied his right to fight in America. But hey, when this dude does it, he’s “overcoming adversity”. But when a Korean does it, he’s being reckless and endangering himself.

Let’s never mind the fact that this “MMA match” in Georgia would be a sham. State regulations mean no strikes to an opponent on the ground, effectively making any match with this guy a grappling match. That’s the real reason why he’s concentrating on this athletic commission and isn’t going to let things go without a fight: this is pretty much the only state where he’s capable of crossing MMA off his big list of things he’s accomplished in his oh so handi-capable life.

I dunno. I wish I had some kind of real stand on this issue. I’m just feeling annoyed. And I don’t know if it’s because I’m tired of living in a politically correct world where a guy with no limbs can pretend to fight in an MMA match, or because I just got a 200$ parking ticket for parking in a handicap zone. Regardless, I’m not in a very sympathetic mood towards ‘those people’ right now.

Look like I’m not the only person who isn’t the biggest Kevin Iole fan in the universe. Sure, he redeemed himself from being a total cockgobbler with his steroid articles, but he still writes a lot of whack shit. Considering he’s making a decent living writing garbage like that I’m here wallowing in my own filth writing MMA’s equivalent of War & Peace, it’s kinda annoying. And finally, someone else agrees with me: Dr J from MMA HQ.

I’m glad more people are throwing their hat into the MMA Asshole ring. For a while I was worried it was just going to be me, Luke Thomas, and Zach Arnold (although he’s more of a grinch than an asshole, technically).

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