Oh boy and goodie goodie. What exciting news – the UFC has signed WWE and pro football wash up Brock Lesnar to a contract. I’m not exactly against pro wrestlers coming into mixed martial arts, but I’m not exactly thrilled either. The last thing the UFC needs is to have people associating the WWE with their product – there’s enough retards doing that as it is.
My favorite angle on this story though is how people are saying “Signing Brock Lesnar is a big step in removing the sting from Randy Couture’s departure”.
What? Excuse me? Have I fallen into some weird alternate reality where Nazis aren’t considered evil and pro wrestlers are on par with MMA legends? Is the UFC sending out gamma rays from the TV during The Ultimate Fighter to turn MMA fans’ brains into hotdog mulch? Because it certainly fucking seems so lately.
Let’s get something straight: saying that Brock Lesnar is going to fill the hole left by Randy Couture is like saying Steven Seagal could fill in for Rich Franklin. Yeah, Lesnar will sell pay per views. Lesnar might even manage to become a contender down the road. But in ten years time he’s going to be little more than a penis-chested footnote in the history of MMA. All the while, Randy Couture will still be considered one of the founding fathers of MMA.
I’m gonna sit back and be entertained by Mr Penis Chest as he experiences what big league MMA is like. It’s going to be great. I’ll even cheer as he works his way up past the Brad Imes and the Heath Herrings of the heavyweight division. But it’s all building to that point where he runs into a real MMA fighter who’s going to stuff his wrestling, kick his legs out from underneath him, and pound the shit out of his big HGH-inflated head.
So in that way, yeah … signing Mr Penis Chest is a good thing. It’s good money, and it’s good entertainment, and therefore it’s good for the sport … barring of course any steroids or hormone treatment scandals that may pop up. That being said, anyone who trumpets Lesnar’s signing as the beginning of a new era needs to pull the WWE action figure out of their ass and smarten up.