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(Just thought I’d stick the video of the Mike Kyle incident in this post since many people don’t tend to remember how brutal this was. Watch it … and watch the replays. Then re-read Bryan Olsen’s quote at the bottom.)

I get emails from people from time to time asking what’s wrong with me, and if I enjoy saying and doing things that hurt people’s careers. The idea that anyone pays any attention to what I write here blows my mind … if an article says something bad about a fighter but then follows up with a joke about horse penises, I think that should tell people I’m not always being serious about things. Overall, we’re not vindictive people here, and after taking the piss out of someone we’ll typically move on to the next easy target.

But there are two kinds of people who I do try to sabotage: nazis, and people like Mike Kyle. No, not Mike Pyle the retard. Mike Kyle, the guy who illegally kicked another fighter’s face in and then continued to beat on him while officials tried to pull him off. Apparently he’s been booked to fight on January 12th in California. This is the second time Kyle has tried to make a comeback after that incident, and every time he tries to sneak back onto a card, I’m going to make sure everyone knows about it.

Here’s a few words from Bryan Olsen, who was on the receiving end of Kyle’s illegal strikes:

ADCC: What injuries did you suffer due to the illegal actions of Mike Kyle?

BRIAN: I have fractured the zygomatic and maxillary bones on the left side of my face. I also broke my nose and ruptured a sinus cavity in my nose. I saw a specialist today and he told me from the position of the fractures and injuries, it was the result of more than one hit. Basically some of the injuries occurred after the kick when he was punching me in the face.

ADCC: On June 3rd, 2006 you were scheduled to fight Chad Bartlett at MFC 7: USA vs. Russia III. Is that bout now off and do you think you will ever fight again?

BRIAN: That fight is off and after my surgery I will have plates and screws in my face permanently. I have along way to recover and consider my fight career over.

Everyone is having a hissy fit over the Sherk lightweight belt situation because Steve Sievert was a shitty journalist and jumped the gun regarding the story. Here’s what he wrote:

The UFC’s lightweight belt continues to reside with Sean Sherk.

In light of Sherk’s suspension for a positive steroid test being upheld, but reduced this week by California State Athletic Commission, several readers have inquired about Sherk’s championship status.

The UFC has yet to comment and when asked about the situation late today, the UFC confirmed that Sherk remains the promotion’s 155-lb. titleholder.

And because of that poorly written non-story, here’s what’s spreading through da bloggosphere like genital warts at a swinger’s weekend retreat:

And that’s just the posts with the erroneous or misleading information right in the title. Out of all my RSS feeds, I’ve got over 16 websites basically implying that Sherk is going to   keep his belt. And they all refer back to Stevey boy as their proof.

Let’s be 1000% crystal clear: right now, nothing has been said by the UFC either way. I doubt they’ll deal with the issue until after The Ultimate Fighter Finale on Saturday night. As for what will be decided, I’ll bet you a big pile of monopoly money that Dana White strips Sherk of the belt.

There’s just way too much downside to keep Sherk as champion and way too much upside to stripping him. Stripping him gives UFC 80 in January a REAL title match, the first REAL title match since Anderson Silva defended his middleweight title in fucking October. Dana White’s already blown the ‘interim’ wad with the GSP vs Hughes match … he NEEDS BJ Penn vs Joe Stevenson to be for the real belt if he wants to sell it properly.

As well, let’s consider the crazy shit that would go on if the UFC ignored the fact that the CSAC found Sherk guilty. That would look pretty horrific in the eyes of the mainstream media, especially anyone who happened to look at the INSANE numbers of drug fails MMA is churning out in California alone. Letting this slide is tantamount to turning a blind eye to the situation, and we all saw where that got pro wrestling.

That’s not even the start of all the negative shit that would come out from letting Sherk keep the title. But honestly, I’m sick of talking about steroids. Why can’t fighters be caught participating in orgies, and then I would get to do a bunch of orgy research which would be totally sweet???

I know I’m jinxing myself a bit because it’s apparently ‘mistake day’ at, but I don’t think you’re gonna see Sherk keeping that belt for much longer.

Remember a while back when I posted that article about Joe Lauzon weighing 185 pounds 48 hours before a lightweight fight? Well, it turns out it was all part of the head games Joe was playing against his opponent:

Adam Morgan: Yeah, I saw you had some pictures posted up on The Underground Forum where it said you were at roughly 185 about 48 hours out from the fight. Is that true?

Joe Lauzon: That was a big joke. My brother and my roommate Brandon were in the hotel lobby and they heard Reinhardt was getting a little scared, you know, “Joe’s running around at 185! He’s so big!” and all this other stuff. So they started talking like “Oh, I can’t believe Joe’s 185. It’ll be a tough cut but he’ll make it.” So we just sort of ran with it to play on his paranoia a little bit.

Adam Morgan: So what weight were you actually at about 48 hours out?

Joe Lauzon: I was at about 165, something like that.

Adam Morgan: Okay, because I put that picture up and people were wondering “Where does this guy hide thirty pounds?”

Joe Lauzon: Yeah, no, it was my brother standing on the scale holding two bottles of Pedialyte. We switched shorts, we switched socks, we made sure we didn’t move anything. A couple people were making comments about how he had hairier legs than me, but I said “Oh no, it’s just the angle.”

Adam Morgan: So basically what you’re telling me is that you pulled a professional troll job on the Underground?

Joe Lauzon: Always, always.

The closer to the Hatton-Mayweather event we get, the less optimistic everyone seems to be about Hatton’s chances. It’s like it was fun to believe the hype leading up to this fight but now that it’s time to get in the ring everyone is steeling themselves for the reality of the situation.

I on the other hand am sticking to my guns and sacrificing goats to the Elder Gods in the hopes that Hatton takes out that cocky motherfucker Mayweather. Of course, the Elder Gods care not for boxing, no matter how many goats I bleed. So let’s hope this tidbit of info proves prophetic:

Hatton watched as Zab Judah had success with Mayweather by pressuring him early in their 2006 fight at the Thomas & Mack Center. But as Judah tired, Mayweather picked up the pace and won going away.

Hatton has vowed he won’t get tired and will keep the pressure on Mayweather throughout.

“You wonder what might have happened if Zab had been able to sustain that pressure,” Hatton said. “I know I’ll be able to sustain it. We’ll see how good Floyd is when he’s facing that heat.”

I like the MMA Analyst, but man are his articles long. And there are no pretty pictures to look at! If most MMA sites are the literary equivalent of a pop up book, MMA-Analyst is like reading Ayn Rand. Ayn Rand with an annoying RSS feed that reposts her longwinded objectionist bullshit over and over again for some reason.

Anyways, Mr Analyst took the time to write out all of Armando Garcia’s arguments regarding the Sean Sherk case from Sherdog’s radio interview. I guess he heard through the grapevine that his commission had the credibility of a strung out heroin addict at a Money Mart. He went the diuretic 1001 reasons route, but here’s his best arguments boiled down (ew, boiled diarrhea):

  • Quest Diagnostics: Thousands of test per year. Suggesting that their process is flawed, it is an insult to the thousands of people that have tested clean before in California. It suggests that their tests may have been tainted and that person ended up testing clean.
  • Contaminated supplements: “You must be responsible for every single thing you put into your body.”
  • Xyience: Commented that when you bring in a test for a supplement that was positive for a substance that the lab doesn’t even test for, it is a “smokescreen”.
  • Hearing process: Stated he is for the process of giving a fighter rights to an appeal, but not for “clever smokescreens”.
  • Nandrolone levels: 50 ng/mL and 4 ng/mL are both positive, no difference because of the levels.
  • Sherk’s evidence: Presented no evidence to suggest that a supplement produced the nandrolone positive
  • Threshhold: Garcia confirmed the 2 ng/mL threshhold

It’s funny … I actually think Sherk tested positive as a result of tainted supplements. That doesn’t change the fact that he’s guilty … just because you didn’t know you were wearing rocket shoes at the race doesn’t change the fact that YOU HAD ROCKET SHOES FOR THE FUCKING RACE.

The sheer number of supplements Sherk was taking pretty much guaranteed he was gonna be getting some tainted shit somewhere along the line … it’s common knowledge that it’s a huge problem in the supplement industry and all real fighters know the score.

Sherk sealed his fate the second he hired scumbag lawyer Howard Jacobs to represent him. This guy has a history of throwing as much shit at the wall as possible to see what sticks. Of course, the only ‘shit’ that needs to be thrown is ‘the truth’ : Sherk wasn’t sticking needles in his ass, he was taking supplements.

Test the supplements, find the guilty supplement, present it to clear your name of being a willful cheat, take your suspension, sue the supplement company, move on with your life. Oh, and give the fucking belt up so you don’t cripple the lightweight division you selfish fuck.

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