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You can officially count December 2nd as the day the Nog vs Sylvia rumor wagon shifted into high gear, with MMA News reporting that some random Brazilian MMA site is reporting that someone else has reported that Tim Sylvia vs Big Nog has been signed. By the way, I’m never going to try and write Big Nog’s full name out again as it is stupid, smelly, and way to similar to his brother’s name. Someone’s mother needs to be slapped.

Anyways, this has implications way past just a fight being signed. Nog vs Sylvia for the heavyweight belt means that Randy Couture is 100% gone, do not pass go and do not collect whatever amount of money Kevin Iole says you’re making. Unless of course this fight isn’t a title fight, in which case I guess this is all a bunch of fuss for nothing, and we shouldn’t read into it at all.

Seriously, there’s just way too many mysteries going on at once. What’s up with Randy? What’s up with Quinton? What’s up with TUF7? What’s up with the lightweight belt? Back in my fair weather fan days, I’d just stop watching MMA for a year and come back refreshed and ready for another year of exciting ‘intrigue’. Right now I’m just feeling like a jaded asshole. So in lieu of a break, how about I just hoop some ecstasy before writing posts from now on? Okay? Okay!

So I finally got around to watching Mayweather-Hatton 24/7, and I have to say I’m officially fucking hyped for this fight. I know that most boxers aren’t exactly ‘top of the humanity pile’, but Floyd Mayweather Jr comes off looking worse than a puppy strangler at a PETA convention.

Highlights of Mayweather being a jackass included him bragging about his bling being worth more than the GDP of most African countries, claiming he’s a normal parent like everyone else (while they show him chasing his kids around his mansion on a segway), and giving half of England the finger.

Modesty doesn’t exactly become this guy … and cocky isn’t a big enough word to capture what Mayweather is. It’s like trying to use the word ‘human’ to describe super-saiyans or some shit. Because super-saiyans can like throw fireballs out their ass and blow up planets. Mayweather’s ego is super-saiyan sized. On the other hand, Ricky Hatton comes off about as likable as you can get.

Basically this fight boils down to ‘dickhead vs nice guy’. Unfortunately, not many people are giving the nice guy too much of a chance. But one thing is for sure … as soon as we’re done with the TUF finale, I’m hitting up this shit fo’ sure.

Sure, for most of my pubescent readers out there, their initial reaction to this nasty gash on TUF fighter Ross Pointon’s skull is “OMG VAGINA”. I would like to point out however that this cut looks a hell of a lot more like ravioli … it’s like pasta/meat/pasta. Mmmm …. delicious!

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, Ross lost the fight but said he wanted a rematch. No word yet on how many decades till that cut heals though.

Nothing like ‘forgetting’ to tell fighters they’re on the card, and just letting them learn when they see their names included on a list. Here’s an interview with Mach Sakurai’s opponent Hasegawa:

- When did you know about your match?
It was the day before the press conference.   Mr. Saeki had forgotten to tell me till then.

– You said you heard about joining in “Yarennoka!” through the press and broadcasting in your blog.
That`s right.   Mr. Saeki asked me if I would like to fight in “Yarennnoka!” before, but was not told after that.   After training, a press guy told me that your name was in the list of fight in “Yarennoka!”

On a side note, the rest of this interview is awesome. Here’s some concentrated funny:

- What do you think about your opponent, Mach Sakurai?
He stays in the top of MMA for last 10 years.   He has an amazing power to damage opponents.   He said he would like to have a fight like playing a game, Final Fantasy.   In the game, I`m the main person who started from 1st level and finally get a chance to fight a strong guy.

– Mr. Saeki interrupted and said you are not challenging him.   You are the champion who is getting his challenge.
What? Don`t be like that.   It is obvious I`m not taking his challenge but I`m getting this opportunity to fight him finally.

– Have you been depressed before the fight?
Yes, I have once in a while but it wastes of my time.   I think positive and try to enjoy my fight.   I like fighting and decided to come this far.

So sayeth Jason MacDonald:

I was told last week that my next fight will be in April. Joe Silva (the UFC matchmaker) told me they want to save me for the April card in Montreal.

I don’t know the date or an opponent or even if it will for sure be in Montreal. But he said he needed me on the Canadian card.

I swear to God, if the UFC goes to Alberta before it comes to Montreal, I’m gonna have a shit fit. I’m pretty amazed though that the UFC is trying to push things through for April, right when the NHL playoffs start. Simply put, if the Montreal Canadiens are in the playoffs , then the UFC is gonna be hard pressed to make any kind of splash when they roll into town. Yes, we love MMA here in Montreal. But we’re still stereotypical Canadians so hockey comes first.

At any other time of the year, the UFC coming to Montreal would be top news in the sports section. With playoffs going on, they’ll be lucky to make page 2. I’m not saying they’ll have difficulty selling out the Bell Centre. But if Montreal’s team is still in the running, the UFC will have a hard time creating any real hype next to the juggernaut that is Canadian hockey fever.

Regardless, the sooner the better and the second things look official for Montreal, we’re gonna start planning some serious parties.

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