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I had completely forgotten about all this happening today:

UFC lightweight champion Sean Sherk (Pictures), who was suspended for one year after testing positive for Nandrolone Metabolites following his victory over Hermes Franca (Pictures) at UFC 73 on July 7, had his suspension reduced to six months on Tuesday, reports editor Josh Gross.

The California State Athletic Commission upheld a fine of $2500. Sherk, 34, will be eligible to return to the Octagon in January.

Of course, you know what this means: Sherk is still considered guilty. If Dana White sticks to what he said he’d do, he’ll officially strip Sherk of the belt, and Stevenson/Penn will be a title fight, with Sherk getting a shot as soon as possible.

Of course, who knows what Dana’s gonna do. He seems to think interim belts are all fine and dandy, and if Sherk squeals and whines enough I don’t doubt Daddy Dana will let baby keep his belt. I mean, who gives a fuck about the fans and what they think, right? And who needs to send a strong message to people that steroid use isn’t tolerated in the UFC? Not Dana. No, not Dana one bit indeed at all barbecue.

Our favorite Frankenberry Sean Salmon’s got another blog up, and it’s pretty damned interesting. He goes over the drama pre-fight where they were told on the day of the weigh-ins that he might have to fill in for Yuki Sasaki, and what it was like going into the cage without any kind of knowledge or gameplan about Jorge Santiago.

One thing I’m wondering is that Salmon was an alternate for this tournament … why the hell wasn’t he prepared to fight any of the other tournament fighters? As an alternate, it was his job to be ready to step up and fight if one of the other fighters got injured. Sure, he ended up in the first round instead of the second, but it shouldn’t have made a difference. A well prepared fighter would have had a background check on all the tournament fighters and a gameplan for whoever he might have to face.

Anyways, last but not least, Salmon reports that he did not suffer from a seizure as jackhole Armando Garcia concluded while watching from 20 feet away. He just ‘freaked out’ when he woke up surrounded by people. Geez, you’d think he’d be used to it by now (hardy har!)

Sam Caplan took some time out of his busy schedule of eating ding dongs and scratching himself to talk to Jarry Park about the fight coming up between himself and I. During the interview he reveals a secret passion for my prose and technical writing, which is just silly.

My English teacher used to beat me with sticks for ridiculous run on sentences that were more like paragraphs than sentences … aided by punctuation I can just keep a sentence going on for ever and ever without anyone noticing that I should really throw a period in there somewhere sooner or later because goddamn, these sentences are dragging on worse than a five round Sean Sherk fight. Really.

Past that point, Sam dissed my Blogger Belt and said if he wins it, that baby is going in the trash. And yeah … there will be a belt. If other fighters are angry because I have a belt, then perhaps they should try earning their own! How that makes sense, I’m not really sure. But rest assured I will hold onto the strap and defend my belt against any blogger with over a thousand visits a day.

Adding to the list of marquee fighters you’re not going to see very often, Tito Ortiz has made it official that he doesn’t plan on returning to the Octagon until May:

“I spoke to Lorenzo (Fertitta), and it looks like in May,” said the former UFC light heavyweight champion . “They’re going to wait until May, so the next Cinco de Mayo weekend will be Tito Ortiz’ next fight.”

Yeah, I know: you all hate Tito. Hell, I’m not exactly a huge fan … the guy’s like MMA’s answer to Stone Cold Steve Austin. Hella lame. But I’m not gonna deny the fact that this guy’s got draw. And if you are, try to continue after BloodyElbow’s newest add Michael Rome spells it out for you:

When Tito Ortiz returned to the UFC and fought Forrest Griffin, the show broke the UFC PPV record set two months earlier by Liddell/Couture 3.   Months later, when he fought Ken Shamrock in July, following TUF 3, the fight once again broke the UFC PPV record.   Two months later he fought Ken Shamrock on free TV, and set a TV ratings record in the main event that still stands today.   Finally, 2 months later, he set yet another all time UFC PPV record with his title fight against Chuck Liddell.

Say what you will about Tito, but you put him up against a good name and he’ll fill the bank with money. I have no fucking idea what the UFC was thinking putting him against Rashad Evans … I suppose they thought Tito would make him a star like he did with Forrest Griffin. All in all, it was a fucking waste of everyone’s time and didn’t exactly help the UFC’s bottom line either.

But if they match Tito up with someone like Wanderlei Silva or Shogun Rua for May (another big IF is if he’ll accept those fights), you better believe it’s gonna be big business. And hey, as an added bonus we might get to see Tito destroyed!

The latest chapter in the Randy Couture saga comes not with a bang, but with a strange ambiguous whimper. No comebacks. No legal threats. No running off to work for another company. No Fedor. Just a weird “Everything is good but no I’m still not coming back“:

“We’ve cleared the air, and hopefully we’ll move forward with some sort of relationship,” Couture said. “I’ve got a lot of fighters and a lot of things that hinge around mixed martial arts and the UFC as well. I want to continue to work with them and I think that they want to continue to work with me, so we’ll figure out how that happens.”

“I think more than anything at this stage of things I want to slow down a little bit,” Couture said. “I’ve been burning it for three or four years now – I want to take some time and go on a vacation, spend some time with my wife. We’ve been married a year now and we’ve been together very, very little in that year; it’s been crazy. It’s been difficult on us. I’ve got a nice house and I don’t even get to spend any time in it hardly, so take a little time now and just smell the roses so to speak.”

I think the overall translation of all this is “It’s not worth fighting the UFC juggernaut, especially since my entire life is entwined with the company.” Fighting the UFC when you’re Randy Couture would be like punching your Siamese twin in the kidney you share. Which sucks because Randy’s Siamese twin is an evil bastard who deserves a few whacks.

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