I don’t think I even have to comment on this. Just watch it. It is so fucked up. Luke Cummo is such a freakin weirdo. I found out about this video from this interview with Luke Cummo:

Kodiak MMA: Shifting gears a bit, your web site, LukeCummo.com, features your own cooking show, Kung Food. I’ve seen two episodes and really enjoy it. Talk to us a bit about the show, about what “Lifefood” is, and about your affiliation with Dr. Jubb, who seems like a pretty cool guy to be around.

Luke Cummo: Dr. Jubb really is on the forefront of human nutrition and healing. He’s been like an olympic athlete over the past 30 years or more, studying 16 hours a day. The insight he’s developed has never been written down before and the things he’s seen under the most powerful microscopes people have yet to even consider.

“Lifefood” is the term Dr. Jubb uses to describe this insight. It’s only food that can be found growing wild in nature. All others can only be found growing within a farmer’s fence line and have been hybridized over eons. Why can’t they grow wild in nature? Because they don’t have the biological forces necessary to eco-sterilize against mold, fungus, and yeast, which are the chief undertakers of the planet. When we bring these things into us, they break down into those very micro-organisms inside our intestines, and this is the cause of most all disease.

Since I’ve discovered Lifefood and the corresponding cleansing program, Jubb’s Cell Rejuvenation, my health has improved in all areas. My body fat has decreased as well as my recovery time from hard training sessions. I’m thinking clearer and faster and my disposition is generally more positive. I started out just doing some work-study at Jubb’s Longevity and now Dr. Jubb is one of my main sponsors. The advice he gives me and the training he puts me through is top-secret.

On my internet food-preparation show, Kung Food, I feature someone from the MMA community that I know and take their favorite food and turn it into a Lifefood meal. Then we do an MMA workout and sample the recipe at the end. The next episode is in editing right now and features my coach Ray Longo.

Kodiak MMA: What can fans expect from you on September 19?

Luke Cummo: I am going to be lighter, stronger, faster, and look more ripped than ever before. My best performances are yet to come. Hopefully my fight will be televised as well as the entrance in to the octagon because I have something special planned.

10 bucks says he plans to drink his own urine on the way to the octagon.

Fuck I love Georges St Pierre. If I could somehow murder a woman and implant her ovaries and all that junk into my belly, I would totally have his babies. They would be named Georges Jr, Raymonde Cesar, and Lucille-Therien St Pierre. We would raise the kids out in the country so they would get to enjoy nature, and under Georges’ watchful eye they would all become world mixed martial arts champions.

What possible reason could I have for loving Georges so? It’s shit like this that gives me a boner:

GH: In the past, we had heard that you may be interested in actually moving up to 185 lbs to take on Anderson Silva. Are you still comfortable at 170?

GSP: I am very comfortable at 170. People think that I am bigger than I am. I don’t cut much weight. One day when I become world champion again and I have the opportunity to go up and I don’t have much competition in my division, I think I would go up.

It would be for the challenge. Nothing personal – I just want to make my mark in the sport. I want to make history. I want people to remember me as the best fighter there has ever been in the sport. To do that, I need to do some crazy stuff like going up and challenging other champions and that is in my plans.

Normally I’m not impressed by fighters who always talk about switching weight classes. Either they’re changing because they’re washed up or changing because they’re lazy about cutting weight and don’t feel like skipping the pineapple at luaus. But Georges wants to do it right: clear out the division and then move up in order to cement a legacy.

Of course, he’ll have to manage to hold onto the welterweight belt a bit longer than the first time he had it. That last time was a bit of an oopsie.

Man, them japanesers are tricky people. They have 1001 ways to say yes when they mean no and no when they mean yes. Case point – this little snippit of info regarding Takanori Gomi, with Dana White straight talking and Takanori throwing riddles like the cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland:

In other news concerning the Gomi and Hero’s rumors, kakuto.com has reported that Dana White said in GONKAKU that: “I like Gomi as well as Mach Sakurai, KID Yamamoto. But the negotiations between UFC and Gomi have not been well.”

They also report that in Kakutogi Tsushin (another magazine in Japan) Gomi said: “There is no reason I will never fight at HERO’S.”

So wait. Does that mean he won’t not fight at HERO’s? That he may not not be willing to not fight for them? Right now it doesn’t look like Gomi is not being against being ready to challenge fighters! He won’t not fight some of the best fighters that may possibly be in that promotion he isn’t not ready to fight for. I’m glad he’s so positive about his willingness to agree that he could be ready to never fight for them if he would!

Goddamn it. At least Dana White throws answers out like a magic 8-ball. Of course lately he’s been as accurate as one too. Will the UFC be on HBO? Signs point to yes! Will things ever work out with PRIDE? Cannot predict now.. Wait … ask again later! Will the UFC sign Fedor? You may rely on it. Goddamn you magic Dana 8-ball. You suck dick.

Sure, the UFC tried to sell you on the idea that UFC73 was ‘stacked’. But the truth of the matter was none of the matches really held all that much appeal. The UFC was coasting on the fact that they had two belts on the line plus Tito Ortiz. And we all saw how that shit turned out. A boring decision, a bullshit draw, and Anderson Silva beating up some dude who didn’t really belong in the ring with him.

However, I gotta say that UFC74 is the best card I’ve seen in a while. I’m kinda afraid for some reason … there’s gotta be some kind of secret catch or something, an underhanded conspiracy tucked under the veneer of this beautiful event. Perhaps the UFC plans on using some sort of mind control ray during the PPV to induce us into watching the next season of TUF. It would take some powerful hypnosis indeed to make me do that.

Anyways, the point of this post is UFC74 and how fucking awesome it is. Top to bottom there’s not one match that I don’t want to see. When the weakest match has a fighter like Travis Lutter in it, you know this shit is solid. The only downside to all this greatness is the fact that so many matches I wanna see will be prelims. If they don’t put Clay Guida in the swing bout I’m gonna shit in a box and mail it to Dana White. Here’s the full card:

Heavyweight championship bout: Randy Couture vs. Gabriel Gonzaga
Welterweight bout: Georges St. Pierre vs. Josh Koscheck
Lightweight bout: Joe Stevenson vs. Kurt Pellegrino
Middleweight bout: Patrick Côté vs. Kendall Grove
Lightweight bout: Roger Huerta vs. Alberto Crane

Preliminary card

Light Heavyweight bout: Renato Sobral vs. David Heath
Middleweight bout: Travis Lutter vs. Ryan Jensen
Heavyweight bout: Frank Mir vs Antoni Hardonk
Lightweight bout: Marcus Aurelio vs. Clay Guida

It’s much too early to break out the predictions for this one, but we’ll get there in a week or so. Until then wipe the drool off your keyboard … it’s still three weeks away and there’s nothing but shitty reruns of UFC Unleashed to tide you over until then. Well, that and this site. We’ll never leave you … never hurt you. We’re going to be together for a long long time.

(above: the official Zuffa Shogun Promo video which sucks balls)

Hmm, what is missing from the official Shogun promo video that Zuffa has put up on the internets? Could it be the total domination of current UFC champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson? Yeah, I guess it is kinda weird that they skip over that. Say what you will about the UFC promoting Chuck like crazy over Jackson, they’re not about to display their current champion getting one of the most brutal beatdowns this side of Tokyo.

Or perhaps they were just in too much of a rush to get this turd out the door? It is a pretty weak promo video … you’d figure the people at Zuffa would be better at using video editing software than some guy from Germany! Seriously, watch the German dude’s video. It’s like the “Transformers” of MMA highlight clips. Zuffa should hire this kid … of course knowing them, they’ll probably just sue him instead.

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