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Sure, the UFC tried to sell you on the idea that UFC73 was ‘stacked’. But the truth of the matter was none of the matches really held all that much appeal. The UFC was coasting on the fact that they had two belts on the line plus Tito Ortiz. And we all saw how that shit turned out. A boring decision, a bullshit draw, and Anderson Silva beating up some dude who didn’t really belong in the ring with him.

However, I gotta say that UFC74 is the best card I’ve seen in a while. I’m kinda afraid for some reason … there’s gotta be some kind of secret catch or something, an underhanded conspiracy tucked under the veneer of this beautiful event. Perhaps the UFC plans on using some sort of mind control ray during the PPV to induce us into watching the next season of TUF. It would take some powerful hypnosis indeed to make me do that.

Anyways, the point of this post is UFC74 and how fucking awesome it is. Top to bottom there’s not one match that I don’t want to see. When the weakest match has a fighter like Travis Lutter in it, you know this shit is solid. The only downside to all this greatness is the fact that so many matches I wanna see will be prelims. If they don’t put Clay Guida in the swing bout I’m gonna shit in a box and mail it to Dana White. Here’s the full card:

Heavyweight championship bout: Randy Couture vs. Gabriel Gonzaga
Welterweight bout: Georges St. Pierre vs. Josh Koscheck
Lightweight bout: Joe Stevenson vs. Kurt Pellegrino
Middleweight bout: Patrick Côté vs. Kendall Grove
Lightweight bout: Roger Huerta vs. Alberto Crane

Preliminary card

Light Heavyweight bout: Renato Sobral vs. David Heath
Middleweight bout: Travis Lutter vs. Ryan Jensen
Heavyweight bout: Frank Mir vs Antoni Hardonk
Lightweight bout: Marcus Aurelio vs. Clay Guida

It’s much too early to break out the predictions for this one, but we’ll get there in a week or so. Until then wipe the drool off your keyboard … it’s still three weeks away and there’s nothing but shitty reruns of UFC Unleashed to tide you over until then. Well, that and this site. We’ll never leave you … never hurt you. We’re going to be together for a long long time.

(above: the official Zuffa Shogun Promo video which sucks balls)

Hmm, what is missing from the official Shogun promo video that Zuffa has put up on the internets? Could it be the total domination of current UFC champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson? Yeah, I guess it is kinda weird that they skip over that. Say what you will about the UFC promoting Chuck like crazy over Jackson, they’re not about to display their current champion getting one of the most brutal beatdowns this side of Tokyo.

Or perhaps they were just in too much of a rush to get this turd out the door? It is a pretty weak promo video … you’d figure the people at Zuffa would be better at using video editing software than some guy from Germany! Seriously, watch the German dude’s video. It’s like the “Transformers” of MMA highlight clips. Zuffa should hire this kid … of course knowing them, they’ll probably just sue him instead.

For me, the most educational part of the whole recent steroid scandal has been how people in the mixed martial arts community perceive banned substances. You have guys like Zach Arnold who watched pro wrestlers blow organs and blood all over the place like some kind of fucked up Seaworld show. Suffice to say Zach is slightly anti-steroids.

Then you have another large group of MMA personalities who aren’t exactly anti-steroids in society, but they are anti-cheating and don’t think steroids are fair in professional competition. Last but not least you have the steroid apologists who basically say several things:

  • Steroids don’t actually help you fight better, they’re just a recovery tool
  • Steroids don’t kill everyone who uses them, so who cares?
  • It’s either steroids or Xenergy Cran-Razz, and any sane person would rather jab needles into their balls than drink that shit.

Long story short, there’s a fuckload of people who are perfectly fine with the idea of fighters juicing up to superhuman levels and duking it out like mutants from an X-Man comic. And while on one level I’m perfectly fine with that (that’s pretty much what half the PRIDE heavyweight division was all about), I suppose on another I do oppose this kind of stuff.

Why? Because the end result of steroids is shit like Phil Baroni’s groin exploding and Sean Sherk as the lightweight champion. The end result is a real reason for mainstream fucktard ‘journalists’ to piss on our sport. The end result is monster juice monkeys with pea sized testicles holding skilled fighters down and riding out decisions. And that’s not the kind of mixed martial arts that I wanna watch.

The day they bring out full-force cyborg fighting with HGH and steroids being injected into veins between rounds, I’ll be the first in line to buy tickets for it. But all the skulking and cheating and who is / who isn’t bullshit is just so lame.

Pfft, not likely. I’m a pretty big fan off MMAWeekly because they ask the fighters I wanna hear from the questions I want the answers from. Plus they’re not egotistical fucktards like the guys at Sherdog (except Jordan Breen – he’s so dreamy). However, the one thing I don’t like is their tendancy to suck some pretty smarmy cock from time to time. I’d dig up some examples but fuck you, I’m 7 hours into a 22 hour Law & Order marathon and can’t be bothered.

Anyways, back to Mark Coleman. Here’s the passage that has me shaking my head:

It could be argued that Couture has been more relevant to today’s mixed martial arts’ scene, but looking at the fight on paper they are roughly the same age, currently have identical 15-8 professional records, started their MMA careers in the UFC within a year of each other, and come from strong wrestling backgrounds. With the strong name recognition of each, it might be a fight that a segment of fans would want to see, although Coleman would likely have to take another fight in the UFC first. And that is all banking on the fact that Zuffa is willing bring him back to the Octagon.

Yeah, ‘it could be argued’. That’s like saying “I’m not about to say it, but I guess someone COULD say it.” Now I don’t want to come off sounding too negative (because this site is all about sunshine and puppies), but Mark Coleman is over the hill. And while I’m not against two over the hill fighters going at it (winner gets a rascal scooter and bumped up in line for a new kidney), Randy Couture isn’t exactly over the hill. Actually, last time I checked he was … um … Heavyweight champion of the world or some junk?

This just goes to show you how absolutely clueless Mark Coleman is to the reality of his own limitations. I remember thinking this same thought back when he went up against Fedor: Mark must either think the beating is worth the money/exposure, or he really thinks he can win (aka he’s delusional).

This is why the UFC doesn’t want to deal with guys like Coleman, Shamrock, and Frye : they still think they can bang with the top guns, and they consistently get the tar beaten out of them match after match. It’s only a matter of time before one of them just up and dies in the ring because they’re too stubborn to stop.

It seems like not a month goes by without Brandon Vera saying he’s gonna be back in action ‘soon’. I was getting worried because July was almost over and the only Vera sighting has been on that reality show Fight Girls. Hey, I don’t blame him … with the way the UFC’s HW division has been stacking up lately, I’d be hiding with the women too.

Anyways, Vera has finally popped back up spouting the same message he was saying last month and the month before and the month before. Fortunately for his fan, I think this time things might actually move forward. Not only has an actual arbitration date been set, but there’s some relatively solid rumor-mongering going over at UFCMania that the UFC is prepped to stick Vera in the octagon with erstewhile contender Andrei Arlovski. Yippy skippy. I love it when two guys I don’t like face off in the octagon … you’re pretty much guaranteed to see one of them get their asses kicked.

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