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Last night was my co-host’s girlfriend’s birthday so like the bastard he is, he went over there to see her rather than come over and record a new episode of the Low Blow. How selfish is that? Anyways, he’s APPARENTLY coming over tonight and we’re gonna get drunk, watch the SHOXC event and record ourselves a podcast. So stay tuned … the show should be up around midnight EST.

Tim Sylvia not only participated in the Quad Cities edition of ‘Dancing with the Stars’, he cleaned up on that motherfucker and took first place. I’ve been looking forward to seeing this video since I heard he was taking part in this … I was really hoping he’d accidentally KO his partner or shit himself again. Unfortunately, there’s none of that in this video. The end shows a jubilant Tim celebrating his win, although he did comment that he’d “rather be out in the woods killing shit”.

I don’t think I even have to comment on this. Just watch it. It is so fucked up. Luke Cummo is such a freakin weirdo. I found out about this video from this interview with Luke Cummo:

Kodiak MMA: Shifting gears a bit, your web site, LukeCummo.com, features your own cooking show, Kung Food. I’ve seen two episodes and really enjoy it. Talk to us a bit about the show, about what “Lifefood” is, and about your affiliation with Dr. Jubb, who seems like a pretty cool guy to be around.

Luke Cummo: Dr. Jubb really is on the forefront of human nutrition and healing. He’s been like an olympic athlete over the past 30 years or more, studying 16 hours a day. The insight he’s developed has never been written down before and the things he’s seen under the most powerful microscopes people have yet to even consider.

“Lifefood” is the term Dr. Jubb uses to describe this insight. It’s only food that can be found growing wild in nature. All others can only be found growing within a farmer’s fence line and have been hybridized over eons. Why can’t they grow wild in nature? Because they don’t have the biological forces necessary to eco-sterilize against mold, fungus, and yeast, which are the chief undertakers of the planet. When we bring these things into us, they break down into those very micro-organisms inside our intestines, and this is the cause of most all disease.

Since I’ve discovered Lifefood and the corresponding cleansing program, Jubb’s Cell Rejuvenation, my health has improved in all areas. My body fat has decreased as well as my recovery time from hard training sessions. I’m thinking clearer and faster and my disposition is generally more positive. I started out just doing some work-study at Jubb’s Longevity and now Dr. Jubb is one of my main sponsors. The advice he gives me and the training he puts me through is top-secret.

On my internet food-preparation show, Kung Food, I feature someone from the MMA community that I know and take their favorite food and turn it into a Lifefood meal. Then we do an MMA workout and sample the recipe at the end. The next episode is in editing right now and features my coach Ray Longo.

Kodiak MMA: What can fans expect from you on September 19?

Luke Cummo: I am going to be lighter, stronger, faster, and look more ripped than ever before. My best performances are yet to come. Hopefully my fight will be televised as well as the entrance in to the octagon because I have something special planned.

10 bucks says he plans to drink his own urine on the way to the octagon.

Fuck I love Georges St Pierre. If I could somehow murder a woman and implant her ovaries and all that junk into my belly, I would totally have his babies. They would be named Georges Jr, Raymonde Cesar, and Lucille-Therien St Pierre. We would raise the kids out in the country so they would get to enjoy nature, and under Georges’ watchful eye they would all become world mixed martial arts champions.

What possible reason could I have for loving Georges so? It’s shit like this that gives me a boner:

GH: In the past, we had heard that you may be interested in actually moving up to 185 lbs to take on Anderson Silva. Are you still comfortable at 170?

GSP: I am very comfortable at 170. People think that I am bigger than I am. I don’t cut much weight. One day when I become world champion again and I have the opportunity to go up and I don’t have much competition in my division, I think I would go up.

It would be for the challenge. Nothing personal – I just want to make my mark in the sport. I want to make history. I want people to remember me as the best fighter there has ever been in the sport. To do that, I need to do some crazy stuff like going up and challenging other champions and that is in my plans.

Normally I’m not impressed by fighters who always talk about switching weight classes. Either they’re changing because they’re washed up or changing because they’re lazy about cutting weight and don’t feel like skipping the pineapple at luaus. But Georges wants to do it right: clear out the division and then move up in order to cement a legacy.

Of course, he’ll have to manage to hold onto the welterweight belt a bit longer than the first time he had it. That last time was a bit of an oopsie.

Man, them japanesers are tricky people. They have 1001 ways to say yes when they mean no and no when they mean yes. Case point – this little snippit of info regarding Takanori Gomi, with Dana White straight talking and Takanori throwing riddles like the cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland:

In other news concerning the Gomi and Hero’s rumors, kakuto.com has reported that Dana White said in GONKAKU that: “I like Gomi as well as Mach Sakurai, KID Yamamoto. But the negotiations between UFC and Gomi have not been well.”

They also report that in Kakutogi Tsushin (another magazine in Japan) Gomi said: “There is no reason I will never fight at HERO’S.”

So wait. Does that mean he won’t not fight at HERO’s? That he may not not be willing to not fight for them? Right now it doesn’t look like Gomi is not being against being ready to challenge fighters! He won’t not fight some of the best fighters that may possibly be in that promotion he isn’t not ready to fight for. I’m glad he’s so positive about his willingness to agree that he could be ready to never fight for them if he would!

Goddamn it. At least Dana White throws answers out like a magic 8-ball. Of course lately he’s been as accurate as one too. Will the UFC be on HBO? Signs point to yes! Will things ever work out with PRIDE? Cannot predict now.. Wait … ask again later! Will the UFC sign Fedor? You may rely on it. Goddamn you magic Dana 8-ball. You suck dick.

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