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If you’re a big fat stupid American, then you’re probably busy being at home eating lots of good food with your fucking family. As I am a goddamn Canadian, I’m stuck at work in a tie eating a stupid Nature Valley bar for fucking lunch like a schmuck.

All those other sites may be off for Thanksgiving, but not us. We will continue to dance for your amusement like the lackeys we are.

As for what we’re thankful for:

  • We’re thankful that we haven’t gotten sued by the UFC yet
  • We’re thankful we haven’t been physically harmed by an MMA fighter for the things we’ve said about them
  • We’re thankful that our readers aren’t clueless morons or useless assholes like at

That’s about it. We’d also like to thank our sponsors … but we don’t have any. So I guess that’s that. Happy fucking Thanksgiving you sons of bitches. I hope you choke to death on your turkey.

In giddy fanboy honor of the PRIDE-like bounty coming this New Years Eve, I thought I’d dig into the vaults and bring back the classic Schick commercials with Mirko, wand, and Mark. Can Japanese people even grow beards??? Selling razors in Asia must be like selling ice makers in Antarctica.

Sean Salmon justified the UFC’s exclusivity clause and got himself medically suspended from fighting Jason Mayhem Miller at next month’s HDNet show. That’s twice now that he’s been dropped from a HDNet card, although I gotta say he dodged a bullet by not having to fight Miller. If Jorge Santiago gave him fits, Mayhem Miller would have buried him for sure.

So who’s this Tim Kennedy guy replacing him? Some dude fighting on the IFL Grand Prix undercard? Kinda underwhelming, huh. Sorta … let me explain:

Tim Kennedy is one of four unavenged losses for Mayhem … the others come at the hands of Chael Sonnen, Georges St Pierre, and Frank Trigg. With a rematch against Frank Trigg seeming in the cards, I guess it seemed like a good idea for Mayhem to request Kennedy, even though no one gives a shit who Kennedy is or cares about a rematch between the two of them.

Up until this point if you asked me what I thought of the name Thiago I’d have told you it was a dumb name suited only for Brazilian gutter rats. But upon careful deliberation and review, I have now decided to name my next kid Thiago on account of it gives him a 85% chance of being a fucking assassin in mixed martial arts. Just take a look at the track records of the three Thiagos in the UFC:

Thiago “Pitbull” Alves : Smashed Tony DeSouza and Kuniyoshi Hironaka, beat Chris Lytle by cutting open his eyelids. His only losses in the UFC are from Jon Fitch and Spencer Fisher back before he was ‘on’.

Thiago Silva : You may remember Silva as the dude who knocked out Houston Alexander like it wasn’t a big deal. I actually felt sorry for Tomasz Drwal because of the severe beating Silva put on him at UFC75. It wouldn’t surprise me if they implanted Wanderlei’s brain into Thiago’s cranium, because the dude’s got a similar in your face style.

Thiago Tavares : I’ll forever be thankful to Thiago Tavares for starting Ultimate Fight Night 10 off with a bang … he stuffed Jason Black like a turkey and then triangle choked him halfway through round two. Past that point he’s won 10 of his 13 wins by sub, so you know he’s slick as shit. They just matched Tavares against Michihiro Omigawa, which is probably gonna be a fucking route.

But hey, it’s not just UFC Thiagos that are kicking ass. The combined record for all the Thiagos on the Sherdog Fight Finder is 65-12, not too shabby at all!

And just a note for my hetero site-partner Jake: Thiago is the Brazilian take on Portuguese Tiago, which in turn came from the Hebrew Ya’akov (somehow), which lead to Jacob. So in a fucked up way, Jake is actually a Thiago. Hardcore!

You may or may not know Kid Nate from BloodyElbow … he’s a pretty smart guy because he usually defers to my amazing intellect when it comes to matches. But about a month ago, he made a bad life decision and decided that Roger Huerta was somehow going to beat Clay Guida at the next Fight Night. No doubt he’s been sucked in by Huerta’s pouty lips and chestnut eyes. Homo.

Hey, if this was the Ultimate Modeling Championships, I would agree that Roger Huerta would beat Clay Guida on all counts. But since this is fighting, and Clay Guida is a MAAAAAAAN and Roger Huerta is a PRETTY BOY, I anticipate that our favorite hippy is gonna take this bout, even if it does go to the crooked judges for a decision.

So here’s the deal Nate : do you have the testicular fortitude to step up and wager something interesting? I don’t do cash … your American moneys aren’t worth much anyways. Here’s your options:

Take your pick, Nate? Or do you not have the pouch nuggets to ride the dragon against Fightlinker?

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