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After suffering two brutal KOs and a decision loss to Rory Singer, it looks like TUF 3 finalist Josh Haynes has decided to move on from the fighting game and return to reality television. The show? “Ty Murray’s Celebrity Bullriding Challenge“, which is so hick I can’t say the name out loud without shouting “YEEEE-HAAAAW!” afterwards.

Josh will be joined by other washouts like Vanilla Ice (music washout), Stephen Baldwin (acting washout), and Dan Clark (better known as Nitro from American Gladiators). I’d say ‘American Gladiators washout’, but being in American Gladiators is like being washed out already so it’d be like saying ‘Washout washout’, which definitely wouldn’t fly with my English teacher.

Anyways, here’s Hayne’s writeup:

Josh Haynes
A native of Medford, Ore., Josh Haynes spent six years in the Army before eventually moving on to the world of mixed martial arts. After years of training and pursuing his dream of becoming an ultimate fighter, he quit his job as a hospital network engineer to appear on season three of The Ultimate Fighter. Over the years, he has made an impressive mixed martial arts record of 17-4 with one knockout. Haynes and his wife Jennifer have three children. Having watched his oldest son endure multiple surgeries after being diagnosed with brain cancer at birth, Haynes stays completely focused and driven to do whatever is necessary to become a success and take care of his family.

That’s the constant re-occurring theme of every bio about Josh Haynes: his oldest son is really fucked up and Josh does everything to try and help him. Man, I don’t want to keep saying this, but why not move to Canada where having brain cancer won’t cost you 2 million dollars? Then you won’t have to participate in pride-crushing TV shows like this! If the current trend continues, I wouldn’t be surprised if Josh will surface next year on the hit German Show “Baron Von Scatmausen’s Celebrities Getting Pooped On Challenge”

Remember all that vague talk from Georges St Pierre about being involved with people who didn’t have his best interests at heart? Well looks like those ‘people’ include Georges manager and TKO promotion owner Stephan Patry. From The Fight Network:

There’s been a lot of speculation of late that former UFC Welterweight Champion George St. Pierre has split from longtime manager and TKO promoter Stephane Patry. While it appears certain aspects of St. Pierre’s portfolio are now being handled by another advisor, Patry maintains he’s still associated with St. Pierre.
“Someone else is taking care of Georges’ sponsorship,” explains Patry. “All I can say is I’m still under contract with Georges.”

Translation: Yeah, I don’t do anything for Georges anymore but I still take my cut because I got that fucker under contract.

Keith Kizer from the Nevada State Athletic Commission must be getting jealous of all the attention Armando Garcia has been getting lately. The Nevada commission head sat down and talked in detail with MMAWeekly about all the ins and outs regarding steroids. It’s really too bad he ended the interview with a pretty explosive “Users are Losers” speech, because it means a lot of people never really payed attention to all the other interesting shit he had to say. Here’s my favorite bits:

On Random Testing

Every state has their own procedures concerning who will be drug tested and Kizer explained how it’s decided in the state of Nevada. “Before July 1, which was our last budget, luckily we got the legislature to give us more money to test more. What we did was we tested every title fight and/or main event and we also did some undercard bouts, nothing set in stone. I don’t know if random is the right word, but basically Marc Ratner and now me as the director would go and pick two or three or four fighters to test as well just based on luck of the draw, so to speak, on these fighters.

So basically they’re saying they don’t have the money to test everyone. Let me tell ya something Keith. Looking at the statistics on the failure rate in MMA right now, you’ll make way more money off fines by testing everyone than you will off this rinky dink random testing shit.

On athletes cycling off

“That’s the situation there, but again if you’re using steroids and you’re trying to cheat you’d be crazy to have it in your system a week later. Of course you’re crazy to have it in your system fight night. That’s what makes some of these cases like the [Royce] Gracie case so strange to be such a high level. When we’ve busted people for Nandrolone, their levels have been closer to Sean Sherk’s level than to Royce’s level because arguably, I’m not speaking for Sean, that’s not our case, but arguably in some of the cases we’ve had it looks like the fighter just missed it by two days. Had he stopped taking steroids two days earlier, he would have gotten away with it. That may have been the situation. I’m not sure.”

On Sean Sherk’s best chance of clearing his name

“In those cases, what happened was you don’t test the sample you have at home because then the athlete can open protein powder, mix it with a bunch of steroids, take it and later say oh look here’s my product. Test it, you’ll see it’s mixed with steroids. I don’t know how it got in there. What you do is you get the lot number, you contact the manufacturer, the manufacturer finds some of the product he has that’s [not] opened. He sends it unopened to a testing lab, they test it, and then they see whether or not it got mixed unintentionally with some banned product. If that’s the case the athlete wins. That’s happened in track and field, and that may be the situation with Sean Sherk.”

Last night was my co-host’s girlfriend’s birthday so like the bastard he is, he went over there to see her rather than come over and record a new episode of the Low Blow. How selfish is that? Anyways, he’s APPARENTLY coming over tonight and we’re gonna get drunk, watch the SHOXC event and record ourselves a podcast. So stay tuned … the show should be up around midnight EST.

Tim Sylvia not only participated in the Quad Cities edition of ‘Dancing with the Stars’, he cleaned up on that motherfucker and took first place. I’ve been looking forward to seeing this video since I heard he was taking part in this … I was really hoping he’d accidentally KO his partner or shit himself again. Unfortunately, there’s none of that in this video. The end shows a jubilant Tim celebrating his win, although he did comment that he’d “rather be out in the woods killing shit”.

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