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The moment CFFC’s Kimbo vs Tank fight got canceled, everyone across the internets called out to promotions around the world to save the headlining fight. Several promotions answered the call and tried to fit it into their cards, but in the end it was EliteXC that signed Kimbo Slice and set him up to fight on their November 10th card.

Without Tank Abbott.

Huh? What? That’s stupid. CFFC had already spent a big pile of money advertising the Tank matchup, and it was a fight that resonated with the moron demographic and freak fight fans. Why EliteXC decided to drop Tank from the equation is unknown.

Whatever the reason, it was fucking dumb. In his place, EliteXC put 8-11 fighter Mike Bourke, who’s been 1-8 over the past 5 years. Tank’s recent record was 1-6 over the past 5 years, but at least he had some decent draw and name power. Add the fact that EliteXC has been promoting Kimbo as ‘Kevin Ferguson’, and most casual fans have no idea what the fuck is going on any more.

But wait, it gets better! Now Mike Bourke is out, and in his place is Bo Cantrell, who just fought last week and lost in under a minute. Cantrell has a 10-10 and is on a four loss skid at the moment. He’s also got some of the worst tattoos in MMA, which says a lot. Again, this guy is a total no-namer with a shitty record.

Anyways, I have no idea what the fuck is up with EliteXC dropping the Kimbo / Tank matchup. They’ve taken a stupid but compelling fight and replaced it with a stupid and non-compelling fight. And promoting Kimbo using his real name is the hight of stupidity. The world knows him as Kimbo Slice. If you’re embarrassed of his felony fight history, then why the fuck did you sign him??? Man … someone at EliteXC needs to be slapped in the face with a large stinky fish.

For everyone that assumed Phil Baroni was guilty as sin and got off easy on his steroid case, take a listen to this video over at Sherdog. I have to admit, I was one of the people that basically assumed Baroni was guilty as sin. The dude goes from being washed up and out of shape to Adonis and back twice a year, it seems. Add to that his past affiliation with highly suspected fight team Hammer House (of Kevin “My organs shut down for some mysterious reason” Randleman fame), and I had him pegged as a user through and through.

However, the information presented by Phil’s people at the hearing was interesting to say the least. Out of several samples taken, only one sample tested positive for steroids. Baroni’s team wanted a DNA test to be done on the positive sample, because they were convinced that sample must not have been his. Of course, the CSAC being the morons they are, they never looked at any of the requests or information put together by Baroni’s team prior to the hearing.

An initial vote to clear Baroni garnered two votes from the CSAC. The final vote for a 6 months / $2500 vote passed with 3 votes in favor, 2 against, and 1 voting for an extension.

Makes you wonder about the validity and accuracy of the testing procedure, huh? I’m also amazed at the shoddy coverage of the details in Baroni’s case by the majority of other MMA websites. Why the fuck am I stuck having to report the bullshit details on this? My fucking anus is leaking. This sucks.

Hey guys. Gonna be a quiet morning as the vegetarian food I ate last night is forcing it’s way out of my ass hardcore. I’ve tried doing some writing on the pot but I almost peed into my laptop’s motherboard fan so that option is out. So for an hour or two you’re on your own. I pray you all survive.

In the meantime, you should listen to this week’s low blow, and submit questions in the comments section of this post for next week’s mailbag! Special thanks to our sponsors for the show : Xieyeience and Super Extreme Energy Creamu.

You may remember a day or two ago that Hardcore Championship Fighting sent out a letter denouncing their competition for putting a guy with barely any MMA experience up against a very experienced Shonie Carter. Well, now Scott Zerr from MFC has responded to the accusation, taking off the gloves and raking HCF across the coals.

The statement he released is awesome and includes all sorts of mockery involving HFC’s lame attendance figures and how Keith Crawford is really good at losing other people’s money. Regarding the mismatch, he had this to say:

If Mr. Crawford is so concerned about mismatches, perhaps he should take care of his own house first. Last HCF show, 9-0 fighter vs. Pro Debut; and a past show that he was associated with saw a 16-0 Mac Danzig vs. Pro Debut. Even the UFC had Melvin Guillard with 35 fights face Rick Davis with 3 fights. But numbers don’t always show the true story. Victor Valimaki at 3-2 fought Dan Severn who had 85 fights to his credit. Valimaki won by unanimous decision.

I’m going to give MFC the nod for round one. I’m also suddenly concerned about HFC … if they’re really getting less than 2000 people at shows with headliners like Aleks E and Sean Salmon, there’s something seriously wrong with their promotion.

As we just reported, a decision in Sean Sherk’s steroid case has been pushed back to November 13th at the earliest. Apparently Sherk’s lawyer Howard Jacobs gave an ‘information packet’ to the CSAC containing all sorts of stupid info including the result of polygraph tests etc. Being total geniuses, the morons at CSAC didn’t even read the fucking information before the hearing. So now we have another month long delay so the CSAC can look at the information in this package.

I should be surprised, but I’m not. Going into this thing I knew there were two outcomes: Sherk came out guilty, or the ruling would be delayed. I’m not saying I think Sherk is ‘guilty’ of knowingly taking steroids. Just that he would be found guilty. Past that point, a delay seemed just as likely considering the fact Howard Jacobs is known for dragging out steroid cases, something we talked about when he was first announced as Sherk’s lawyer.

So where the fuck do we go from here? Well … this pretty much destroys any chance of BJ Penn fighting for the lightweight belt on the New Years show. I doubt that Dana White is going to go back on his promise to hold off on stripping the belt until Sherk has his ruling. And I doubt BJ Penn is interested in fighting for some lame ‘interim’ title. The UFC had a hard enough time convincing BJ that the real lightweight title was worth fighting for.

All in all, the simple result of all this is that the lightweight division is still fucked. That now makes three titles in flux : lightweight because of Sherk, welterweight because of TUF, and heavyweight because of Couture. Someone upstairs at UFC has to make some hard fucking decisions soon or we’re gonna end up with more shitty non-title cards over the first half of 2008.

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