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Everyone wants to know where Andrei Arlovski is. Well, the answer is simple: he’s riding the fucking bench until Dana decides he’s learned his lesson. What lesson? I dunno really. Stop sucking it up in the Octagon? Sure, Arlovski’s third bout with Tim Sylvia was pretty terrible. But I’m pretty sure one of the muscles in Andrei’s leg snapped off the bone and rolled up like an old window blind in the first round. I’m not 100% sure on this, just shooting from the hip. I’d look it up on google but I’ve drank 3 energy drinks and can barely sit down, let alone do research.

So, Andrei’s shit match vs Tim Sylvia had more to do with Tim than with Andrei. Then Andrei smashed Marcio Cruz in a pleasantly aggressive manner, so no complaints there. Then he faced off against Fabricio Werdum, which drew out to a really boring decision. I’m pretty sure this match was when the UFC decided Andrei wasn’t earning his paycheck. But when you think about it, there’s been lots of other guys who have done far worse than Andrei who are still fighting. Josh Koscheck’s inaction against Diego Sanchez and Forrest Griffin’s gun shy dance with Hector Ramirez come to mind. I mean, for fucks sake … Josh couldn’t beat a guy who just found out he probably had Hep C. And don’t even get me started on Forrest’s inability to finish that Latino Pillsbury dough boy.

Come to think of it though, both Josh and Forrest ARE getting punished in a way. Josh is the unfortunate rebound fight for Georges St Pierre. And Forrest is being sacrificed to the almighty god known only as “Shogun”. Sure, the past 6 months have taught us that anything can happen, but I rate their chances of not getting wrecked the same as a snowball’s chance in Hell. I guess it comes down to this: Dana White can’t punish Arlovski by making him a stepping stone … the Pitbull is simply too good for that to be a realistic plan. So the other option is to bench him, and that’s what they’re doing.

What a shitty summer for Hong Man Choi. Things started off so well … between his retiring of Gary Goodridge and a huge payday in store for K1 Dynamite, he must have been flying high. Of course, that all unravelled when the CSAC denied his fighter’s license because of a tumor on his pituitary gland. With that, his paycheck for headlining Dynamite went kaput along with his chances for ever getting sanctioned in the US again. To add insult to injury, now it looks like the CSAC is accusing Choi of falsifying past MRIs to be sanctioned in Las Vegas:

The paperwork filed with the Nevada State Athletic Commission (NSAC) showed a “perfect MRI” without a tumor, said CSAC Executive Officer Armando Garcia, whereas the MRI results taken this year clearly showed the presence of a tumor roughly 2 cm wide. Logically, this could mean only two possible scenarios: a) the MRI submitted in California was doctored, or b) a tumor appeared within a year, which is plausible, but unlikely as Choi admitted to having a tumor since high school.

Choi’s shitty summer doesn’t end there. Apparently all this kerfuffle in America is causing waves in Korea, with Choi at the centre of a moral debate:

Following the news report that stressed the life-threatening severity of acromegaly and gigantism, of which Choi is claimed to be suffering from, he has since gone into seclusion, resurfacing just once to hold an interview with and express his resentment towards the Korean media, which he claims has painted a malicious and erroneous depiction of his illness.

“I’m a human being too,” he said. “Like everyone else I want to live a long and healthy life. I’m the kind of person who believes your health is more important than money. Why would I have jumped into K-1 if I thought I was going to die in a few years? If I felt that there was even a 0.01 percent possibility, I’d walk away.

“I’m thankful people are concerned, but right now I just want to leave the country and live overseas,” wailed an indignant Choi in response to accusations of the moral depravity in risking one’s health for money.

I don’t know why, but I feel bad for Hong Man Choi. I understand there’s obvious safety issues in letting a dude with a tumor in his head fight. But somehow I think this is all bunk … I have a feeling you could hit Choi with a bus several times and he’d be just fine. And if he dies and they ban busses, oh well big deal. I hate the bus anyways. They always throw me off it when I try to touch the old women. Stuffy bastards.

Wow, I didn’t even recognize Phil Baroni here … possibly because Phil has been looking like a cracked out homeless guy in all his other interviews. So to see him all shaved and suited up was something of a surprise … he looks like Kevin Arnold from The Wonder Years. And considering that the guy who played Paul on that show grew up to be Marilyn Manson, maybe Kevin Arnold *IS* Phil Baroni. That’d be awesome.

Regardless of his true identity, I really enjoyed Phil Baroni’s long and winding mumble about how “Steroids Are Bad!” And while the video made me feel bad for him, I don’t know if I ultimately believe him. Fortunately Phil and his agent Ken are saying they’ve got evidence and witnesses that will sway the court of public opinion so I guess we’ll wait and see.

Up until today I was under the impression that there was only one death attributed to an MMA fight:

There has only been one death in the sport of MMA, in an event in Kiev, Ukraine in 1998, where American Douglas Dedge fought against doctor’s orders and despite a pre-existing medical condition that was frequently causing him to black out in training (US promoters were unwilling to let him compete with his condition).

However, this little footnote tucked into Sherdog’s article on Hong Man Choi made me do a double take:

Korea witnessed its first MMA related death at a Gimme 5 event (now known as Neofight) in 2005. The cause of death was due to brain hemorrhaging after the fight, but many blamed the death on the promotion’s inadequate medical standards.

I dug around and found this post regarding the fight, so it definitely seems that a guy did die in Seoul doing what could be described as MMA. So I guess the question is: who else are we missing? How many other people have died in MMA fights? And have these been glossed over because the fights don’t fit the mainstream’s idea of what mixed martial arts is?

I have to admit that Krazy Horse is guilty pleasure for me. While other blogs are on the moral crusade, questioning the ethics of allowing a repeat violent offender to fight, I ask this: if you’re not even gonna let a criminal fight in a cage, what the fuck are you okay with him doing? Personally I’d rather see Krazy Horse fighting on TV than in my house stealing my TV, so I’m A-OK the current situation.

Plus, if there weren’t dumb fighters out there doing crazy stuff, my blog would be dryer than Loretta Hunt’s vagina. Okay, maybe her vagina isn’t all that dry. But she certainly wasn’t willing to let me see so until I can verify the moistness of her genetalia first hand, we’ll just assume it’s dry. Okay? Okay.

Anyways, EliteXC is trying to put together the Joe Boxer vs Krazy Horse fight that should have been on the Strikeforce card in July. If you don’t remember how that debacle turned out, you can catch up here. I love how Gary Shaw apparently has the power to get people released from jail. If that isn’t proof that the white man still runs shit around here, I dunno what is.

All drama aside, this is going to be an awesome match : two brawlers with iron chins facing off to duke it out. The fight is gonna be on August 24th, so with UFC74 the next day I am officially writing the weekend off. Beers, hookers, EliteXC, an 8-ball of coke, 34 hits of crystal, UFC74, a mental breakdown, and an intervention. Sounds like a grand time to me!

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