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Yeah, I know this is up there on a Vagina-Meter along with my post on Dana White’s eyebrows, but what the fuck. You’re Tank Abbott. You were once the baddest dude in the UFC, and now you’re wearing buckled loafers like a goddamn pilgrim at Thanksgiving dinner or some shit. Then again, considering the number of times Tank Abbott has been knocked out I’m surprised he’s not wearing a diaper and a bicycle helmet.

If you haven’t seen the Gray Maynard vs Rob Emerson fight from the TUF5 finale, I’m sure you’ve at least seen the ending. Ya know … where Grey Maynard knocks himself out slamming Rob Emerson? Well, it’s turned out to be the most talked about part of the show. Dana White denies he had anything to do with the fight being ruled No Contest. Steve Mazzagatti explains why he made the decision to call the fight No Contest. And finally, Maynard has said the UFC is already talking to him about a rematch.

I wonder if I’m the only one who doesn’t need to see a rematch. Yes … ‘technically’ the fight was a No Contest. But Gray Maynard was thrashing Rob Emerson. That punch to the ribs was perhaps the most brutal body shot I’ve ever seen, and it was just one of many hits that had Emerson reeling. Gray Maynard may not have won that fight on paper, but he won the fight none the less and there’s no doubt he would win if the two were matched up again. So why the fuck does the UFC want to do a rematch? Do they think anyone at home actually cares that the Sherdog Fight Finder lists the bout as a No Contest?

I was mentioning yesterday that it would be interesting to see what BJ Penn would do with the clout he got from beating Jens Pulver. Well, it looks like Dana White is offering him the lightweight title … if he wants it. While many sites are reporting that Penn *will* face the winner of Sherk/Franca for the LW belt, Dana White only said it was a possibility. The reason it’s not a lock? Most likely because BJ Penn has said over and over that he’s not planning on sticking around at lightweight.

If Penn turns down this title shot, it’s a classic example of him being a stubborn idiot. At welterweight he’s just another guy in the mix, one who’s been beaten by two of the top contenders already. And while a third match with Matt Hughes would probably result in a victory for Penn, I’m not so sure Penn could get by guys like Georges St Pierre and Karo Parisyan. Fuck, even Matt Serra is a potentially troublesome matchup for Penn.

There’s no denying Penn would be the biggest name at lightweight if he stayed. I also don’t see anyone in the division right now who could beat him on paper. And perhaps that’s the problem … Penn isn’t interested in a free ride or an easy belt. He wants the welterweight belt he left behind last time. For a guy who already has money and fame, I guess it’s not really that hard to understand.

Another episode of the Low Blow is comin’ at ya, warp speed. In this fine episode we dish on the Strikeforce and Ultimate Fighter finale shows. We also touch on the Kimbo Slice / Ray Mercer fight and why you shouldn’t drop an oven. With all the MMA madness going around this weekend, the show ran a bit long … this episode clocks in at 40 minutes of pure retardation. I have no idea what the fuck is going on with the Talkshoe applet to the right … maybe it’s displaying the new episode or maybe it’s not. Regardless, you can click below to download this bitch right onto your hard drive. Just do it.

DOWNLOAD THE LOW BLOW EPISODE 7

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Mike Jarsulic from MMATorch.com takes EliteXC commentator Jay Glazer to task for trash talking the guys who tapped out during the show:

In the opening match of the pay-per-view broadcast, Glazer ran down Victor Valenzuela when he criticized him for tapping out to a heel hook. He explained, doing his best Bas Rutten impersonation, that the heel hook is only a painful hold and cannot do much damage. It’s too bad that Glazer got his leg locks shuffled somewhere inside his head, since a heel hook is actually a very dangerous lock. A lot of Jiu-Jitsu schools have banned the use of the heel hook in training because there is a high probability of injury to the knee from the hold. The real danger of the heel hook lies in the fact that the pain in manageable to most until serious damage occurs.

The real burn comes later though:

Hopefully, someone at Showtime with realize that Jay Glazer’s ineptitude is both bad for their product and the sport of mixed martial arts. He is nothing more than a failed MMA fighter that has some experience doing sideline reports for the NFL. As a color commentator, he comes across as insecure with his place in mixed martial arts as Marlon Sims did on this season’s Ultimate Fighter. On a final note, both Glazer and Sims have lost by submission before. There’s nothing wrong with tapping out, unless you are a hypocrite about it.

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