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Phil Baroni was nailed for steroids following his loss to Frank Shamrock from June 22nd’s Strikeforce show. This just cements the Rocky 4 theory: every fighter that does steroids loses. Or maybe it’s that every fighter caught doing steroids loses. Or every fighter who does steroids during a musical training montage loses. Anyways, it’s not important. The important thing is that I cannot remember the last time someone major tested positive and actually won. Unless of course you count Royce Gracie. And I’m pretty sure Tim Sylvia did too. And there was that time a roided out Josh Barnett smashed Randy Couture.

Hmm. Maybe my theory sucks. But it’s important to note that the majority of the guys using steroids are getting beaten by more determined and honest athletes. That’s a testament to the mental and finesse aspect of MMA. Or maybe just a testament to how smarter fighters are better at hiding their use. Damnit. This post has no point.

Phil Baroni did steroids. The End.

After a powerhouse performance against Jens Pulver, it looks like BJ Penn has kept his word and will not be staying at lightweight. You may remember half the internet saying Penn would be fighting the winner of Sherk vs Franca. We noted that Dana White simply said the fight was Penn’s if he wanted it. And now it looks like what he really wants to do is get back in the ring with Matt Hughes and smash his face in.

Of course, that’s not something that’s going to happen anytime soon. Matt Hughes isn’t going to be fighting until December, and then I wouldn’t expect another match from him until March or April. So what’s next for BJ Penn? Sherdog says it’s a fight against Diego Sanchez, which in my opinion will be awesome. Diego had a killer fight with Karo Parisyan but since then hasn’t had a chance to really show what he’s got. A fight with BJ Penn is the perfect test to see if Diego really is the next big thing.

I’m glad I took the last two days off, because they were bullshit for news. I have to wonder if this is the way it always is, and us hardcore fans are just too wrapped up in the MMA soap opera to realize it. The biggest news was that the bout between Quinton Jackson and ‘that other guy’ wasn’t going to be an actual title match. Meaning the match no one wanted to see just got even more meaningless. Meaning Dana White has started taking hits off Joe Silva’s magic crack pipe.

Speculation has been rampant on what the fuck this means: if this isn’t a unification of the PRIDE and UFC title, then that could mean Zuffa hasn’t given up on running PRIDE as a seperate organization. To me, this whole thing reeks of disorganization. Stephen Quadros is saying that the whole thing was some sort of misunderstanding, and the fight would be for the UFC belt, but not the Pride one. I dunno though … Dana White’s exact comments were as follows:

“No. What we’re doing with that thing is we’re respecting both (the UFC and PRIDE) titles. The UFC title is the UFC champion and we’re respecting Dan as the PRIDE champion. Quinton will walk out with his belt if Dan wins and vice versa.”

This isn’t some kind of potentially misunderstood comment. Dana White made it verbatim on the phone conference, and went into it with detail. Sure, it doesn’t make much sense. But hey, Dana White’s allowed to fuck things up once in a while too, ya know?

No, my little birdies … I have not abandoned ye. However, my excess from yesterday has caught up with me and I am literally pouring jugs of shit out of my ass. Unfortunately for you, I do not have any way to set my computer up in my bathroom so pray to Jeff Blatnick that I recover soon.

On a more positive note, this is a big week: we’ve got our first new Ultimate Fighting Comic going up, and a new podcast as well. Last but not least, we’re going to be having a competition to create the first fightlinker t-shirt. More details when I’m not dripping brown all in my undies.

Canada Day may have been yesterday, but today is the day we Canucks get off. So I’m drunked out, goin over to Jakes to record a new Low Blow with our new micromaphone.

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