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Fuck I love Georges St Pierre. If I could somehow murder a woman and implant her ovaries and all that junk into my belly, I would totally have his babies. They would be named Georges Jr, Raymonde Cesar, and Lucille-Therien St Pierre. We would raise the kids out in the country so they would get to enjoy nature, and under Georges’ watchful eye they would all become world mixed martial arts champions.

What possible reason could I have for loving Georges so? It’s shit like this that gives me a boner:

GH: In the past, we had heard that you may be interested in actually moving up to 185 lbs to take on Anderson Silva. Are you still comfortable at 170?

GSP: I am very comfortable at 170. People think that I am bigger than I am. I don’t cut much weight. One day when I become world champion again and I have the opportunity to go up and I don’t have much competition in my division, I think I would go up.

It would be for the challenge. Nothing personal – I just want to make my mark in the sport. I want to make history. I want people to remember me as the best fighter there has ever been in the sport. To do that, I need to do some crazy stuff like going up and challenging other champions and that is in my plans.

Normally I’m not impressed by fighters who always talk about switching weight classes. Either they’re changing because they’re washed up or changing because they’re lazy about cutting weight and don’t feel like skipping the pineapple at luaus. But Georges wants to do it right: clear out the division and then move up in order to cement a legacy.

Of course, he’ll have to manage to hold onto the welterweight belt a bit longer than the first time he had it. That last time was a bit of an oopsie.

Man, them japanesers are tricky people. They have 1001 ways to say yes when they mean no and no when they mean yes. Case point – this little snippit of info regarding Takanori Gomi, with Dana White straight talking and Takanori throwing riddles like the cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland:

In other news concerning the Gomi and Hero’s rumors, has reported that Dana White said in GONKAKU that: “I like Gomi as well as Mach Sakurai, KID Yamamoto. But the negotiations between UFC and Gomi have not been well.”

They also report that in Kakutogi Tsushin (another magazine in Japan) Gomi said: “There is no reason I will never fight at HERO’S.”

So wait. Does that mean he won’t not fight at HERO’s? That he may not not be willing to not fight for them? Right now it doesn’t look like Gomi is not being against being ready to challenge fighters! He won’t not fight some of the best fighters that may possibly be in that promotion he isn’t not ready to fight for. I’m glad he’s so positive about his willingness to agree that he could be ready to never fight for them if he would!

Goddamn it. At least Dana White throws answers out like a magic 8-ball. Of course lately he’s been as accurate as one too. Will the UFC be on HBO? Signs point to yes! Will things ever work out with PRIDE? Cannot predict now.. Wait … ask again later! Will the UFC sign Fedor? You may rely on it. Goddamn you magic Dana 8-ball. You suck dick.

Sure, the UFC tried to sell you on the idea that UFC73 was ‘stacked’. But the truth of the matter was none of the matches really held all that much appeal. The UFC was coasting on the fact that they had two belts on the line plus Tito Ortiz. And we all saw how that shit turned out. A boring decision, a bullshit draw, and Anderson Silva beating up some dude who didn’t really belong in the ring with him.

However, I gotta say that UFC74 is the best card I’ve seen in a while. I’m kinda afraid for some reason … there’s gotta be some kind of secret catch or something, an underhanded conspiracy tucked under the veneer of this beautiful event. Perhaps the UFC plans on using some sort of mind control ray during the PPV to induce us into watching the next season of TUF. It would take some powerful hypnosis indeed to make me do that.

Anyways, the point of this post is UFC74 and how fucking awesome it is. Top to bottom there’s not one match that I don’t want to see. When the weakest match has a fighter like Travis Lutter in it, you know this shit is solid. The only downside to all this greatness is the fact that so many matches I wanna see will be prelims. If they don’t put Clay Guida in the swing bout I’m gonna shit in a box and mail it to Dana White. Here’s the full card:

Heavyweight championship bout: Randy Couture vs. Gabriel Gonzaga
Welterweight bout: Georges St. Pierre vs. Josh Koscheck
Lightweight bout: Joe Stevenson vs. Kurt Pellegrino
Middleweight bout: Patrick Côté vs. Kendall Grove
Lightweight bout: Roger Huerta vs. Alberto Crane

Preliminary card

Light Heavyweight bout: Renato Sobral vs. David Heath
Middleweight bout: Travis Lutter vs. Ryan Jensen
Heavyweight bout: Frank Mir vs Antoni Hardonk
Lightweight bout: Marcus Aurelio vs. Clay Guida

It’s much too early to break out the predictions for this one, but we’ll get there in a week or so. Until then wipe the drool off your keyboard … it’s still three weeks away and there’s nothing but shitty reruns of UFC Unleashed to tide you over until then. Well, that and this site. We’ll never leave you … never hurt you. We’re going to be together for a long long time.

(above: the official Zuffa Shogun Promo video which sucks balls)

Hmm, what is missing from the official Shogun promo video that Zuffa has put up on the internets? Could it be the total domination of current UFC champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson? Yeah, I guess it is kinda weird that they skip over that. Say what you will about the UFC promoting Chuck like crazy over Jackson, they’re not about to display their current champion getting one of the most brutal beatdowns this side of Tokyo.

Or perhaps they were just in too much of a rush to get this turd out the door? It is a pretty weak promo video … you’d figure the people at Zuffa would be better at using video editing software than some guy from Germany! Seriously, watch the German dude’s video. It’s like the “Transformers” of MMA highlight clips. Zuffa should hire this kid … of course knowing them, they’ll probably just sue him instead.

For me, the most educational part of the whole recent steroid scandal has been how people in the mixed martial arts community perceive banned substances. You have guys like Zach Arnold who watched pro wrestlers blow organs and blood all over the place like some kind of fucked up Seaworld show. Suffice to say Zach is slightly anti-steroids.

Then you have another large group of MMA personalities who aren’t exactly anti-steroids in society, but they are anti-cheating and don’t think steroids are fair in professional competition. Last but not least you have the steroid apologists who basically say several things:

  • Steroids don’t actually help you fight better, they’re just a recovery tool
  • Steroids don’t kill everyone who uses them, so who cares?
  • It’s either steroids or Xenergy Cran-Razz, and any sane person would rather jab needles into their balls than drink that shit.

Long story short, there’s a fuckload of people who are perfectly fine with the idea of fighters juicing up to superhuman levels and duking it out like mutants from an X-Man comic. And while on one level I’m perfectly fine with that (that’s pretty much what half the PRIDE heavyweight division was all about), I suppose on another I do oppose this kind of stuff.

Why? Because the end result of steroids is shit like Phil Baroni’s groin exploding and Sean Sherk as the lightweight champion. The end result is a real reason for mainstream fucktard ‘journalists’ to piss on our sport. The end result is monster juice monkeys with pea sized testicles holding skilled fighters down and riding out decisions. And that’s not the kind of mixed martial arts that I wanna watch.

The day they bring out full-force cyborg fighting with HGH and steroids being injected into veins between rounds, I’ll be the first in line to buy tickets for it. But all the skulking and cheating and who is / who isn’t bullshit is just so lame.

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