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Wow, it’s like an asian Kevin Federline. The above guy is DJ Hapa, aka the DJ who took K1 Dynamite from being your average crappy event and made it one of the worst shows in the history of mankind. I have to wonder what K1 was thinking when they brought this guy on board. I certainly have no idea how he managed to talk through the entire event without someone kicking his ass. Back in high school I tried to take a dump on stage during our drama class’ rendition of The Sound of Music and was hauled off before I could pop any cargo down. So how did this guy manage to shit all over Dynamite for 3 fucking hours?

There’s lots of reasons we can hate DJ Hapa. But if you wanna hate on someone for wrecking K1 Dynamite, you gotta look towards K1 and K1 alone. They paid this ass clown, and they made the decision to leave his microphone and esophagus intact for the entire event.

I’m sure you’ve read on other sites that Evan Tanner is tentatively booked for a match in the UFC around September. What you probably haven’t heard is that Evan is living in a leaky boat (a double masted ketch rigged sailboat to be precise) with his totally hetero lifemate of the moment ‘Garth':

I don’t know how to sail. I don’t know the first thing about boats or how to sail one. I’ve never even set foot on a sailboat until this one. Not only do I not know how to sail, I’ve only been on the ocean once. Now I may be considered crazy and reckless by the majority, and I would have to agree. I am a little crazy and a little reckless. How else could I have so much fun? I don’t know anything about the ocean, boats or sailing, but it’s okay. I can learn. All a person has to do is BELIEVE and anything can be accomplished. I believe, so I will accomplish. So here it is, the challenge. I have thirty days to fix the engine and learn how to sail a double masted ketch rigged sailboat.

Is it just me, or is this whole story sounding more and more like a bad Owen Wilson / Vince Vaughn movie? At the moment, I give Evan a 50% chance of successfully staging his UFC comeback. The other 50% chance goes to him drowning off the coast of California. It really could go either way at this point.

Yeah, over 1000 views so far today. If I’d known this many people were going to watch it I’d have spent more than 15 minutes making it. I guess I’ll start doing these kinds of videos more in the future, but I’ll actually take the time to do them well. Thanks for the support guys! We are united in our hatred of K1 Dynamite, and that’s a beautiful thing.

You know, I was a happier person back when ‘The Mainstream’ left MMA the fuck alone. At least then I didn’t have to hear the opinion of every shmuck sports columnist who had a bit of space to fill at the bottom of their spelling bee writeup. But what’s worse than these retards are the idiots who are trying to cash in on the MMA demographic; people so out of touch they honestly don’t have a clue who we are or why we watch the UFC. There’s no better example of this than the big Hostel tie in at UFC71.

For those not in the know, Hostel is one of those new breed horror flicks in the vein of Saw that goes for really in-your-face violence. However, the Hostel series is different because it really concentrates on the sadistic psychological and physical torture / murder of women. I’ve included a ‘leaked’ clip from Hostel 2 to show you what I’m talking about. I put quotes around ‘leaked’ because this was most likely released by the studios to create buzz and attract the kind of market they’re looking for.

And what kind of market do they think would go for this sadistic ultra-violence? Oh, mixed martial arts fans! They get off to people beating eachother up, so of course they’ll jump at the chance to watch a naked woman get butchered like cattle.

Look, I’m just as much into violence as the next guy. I love John Woo flicks and watch Ricky-Oh on a daily basis. I’ll beat hookers with baseball bats in GTA for hours, but there’s a big difference between the kind of violence in these forms of media and the shit in Hostel. Don’t even get me started on the difference between mixed martial arts and Hostel. I don’t have to, because this isn’t a mainstream blog and you’re already a fan of MMA. You understand. And I’m sure you understand what is so discusting about someone thinking Hostel is our kinda shit. It’s just another example of how dumb the mainstream is and how they view us MMA fans. Fuck you, Hostel. And fuck you, mainstream.

I was a little sad after K1 ended because I thought I’d run out of things to blame on THE MAN. K1 was a perfect example of THE MAN bringing shit down and ruining all our fun. Who the fuck is THE MAN to say we can’t let giants with tumors in their brains beat the shit out of each other? The Japanese are always trying to set up crazy shit like that, but THE MAN will never let them.

Fortunately for me (since it gives me fuel to rage against the machine), it looks like THE MAN is steppin’ up his game and going after the big dogs. This time it’s the Nevada State Athletic Commission turning down the Tim Sylvia / Frank Mir bout originally planned for UFC74. The official reason?

However, according to the Wrestling Observer, the Nevada State Athletic Commission stepped in and said Mir wasn’t ready to face someone of Sylvia’s caliber. Keith Kizer, the NSAC executive director, made the decision after he factored in Mir’s poor showing against Brandon Vera at UFC 65.

This is interesting for a few reasons: First, the NSAC has a history of gobbling the UFC’s cock. These are the same guys who sanctioned Tito vs Dana and CroCop vs Eddie ‘Dirty’ Sanchez, for God’s sake. But now we have Frank Mir being denied … Frank Mir, who broke Sylvia’s arm in half the last time they met. Sure, this was before Mir bounced his head off a highway doing 90MPH, but has the NSAC seen how badly Tim Sylvia has been lately? If you’re going to deny someone, it should be him for fear that he will cause widespread narcolepsy in anyone witnessing his boring ass fights. At least Frank Mir has the decency to lose in an exciting and painful manner.

UPDATE: Okay, UFCMania’s got the word straight from Keith Keizer:

“That fight [Silvia-Mir II] has not been presented to me, and thus no ‘denial’ has been made. I was asked about the match-up by a reporter and said I would have a hard time approving that fight unless I see a quality win from Mr. Mir first. However, I will keep an open mind.

Translation: “I am a tool of the UFC and I will obey my masters. Even discussing this now makes me fear that Dana will read this and beat me with his golden staff.”

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