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When it comes to cool chicks who fight, it doesn’t get much cooler than Roxanne Modafferi. Roxanne is like that girl who plays video games, loves surfing the internet, and is always down for a night of naked Star Trek. Except on top of all this, Roxanne is also an MMA fighter, which adds about 5000 cool points. If I was allowed to marry outside of my cult I would totally track her down and woo her.

Anyways, Roxanne keeps a blog of her adventures in Japan. It’s full of insightful fight-related thoughts that could only come from someone with a vagina:

On the day of the weigh-ins, I found myself face to face with my opponent, Shayna Baszler. Unable to produce any sort of evil glare without looking ridiculous, I settled for a thoughtful expression. I hate meeting my opponents before fighting. I fear I’d start to like them and my emotions will effect me when I’m trying to pound her face in. I couldn’t avoid talking to her without being rude, however, and we ended up promising to be enemies before, and make friends after the fights. Both avid fans of Dragon Ball Z, we posed DBZ style during the face-off. I left the weigh-ins forcing myself to mentally imagine kicking her face without feeling bad.

(To the left: Trip Shatfires aka Trip Strychnine, one of Wayne Weem’s ‘MMA wins’. To the right: Homeboy McFuckFace)

Continuing the trend of TUF5 fighters with weak records, it looks like Wayne Weems’ record may be padded with PRO WRESTLING bouts. The obsessive MMATorch guys give the goods, pointing out what should be obvious to anyone with half a brain: ‘Trip Shatfires’ is not a real name (as much as I’d love it to be) and the IWIA isn’t an MMA org but a pro wresting org. Past that, MMATorch has pointed out two more matches which are most likely bogus:

Wayne Weems’ last win is listed as an armbar submission victory over Josh Sobeck (real name Josh Reimers) at Midwest King of the Ring 33 on November 2, 2006. Here’s a recap of a February 2005 pro wrestling show where Nathan Ironside (real name Wayne Weems) beat Josh Sobeck by armbar submission. Since the dates are a year and a half apart, this doesn’t prove anything, but it’s funny that Weems beat Sobeck the same way in an MMA match as he did in a pro wrestling match, and that Sobeck is listed in the Fight Finder under his pro wrestling name.

If you go back to the SCW Website, you can see Johnny Wisdom is listed among the pro wrestling roster with Wayne Weems. Weems is credited with a submission win over Johnny Wisdom on October 26, 2006. Like Trip Shatfires, Wisdom has an 0-1 MMA record with a loss to Wayne Weems. Like Josh Sobeck, Wisdom’s also had pro wrestling matches with Weems.

So I suppose we can just count the days before we’ll see the result ‘TKO : Chair Shots’ as a result in the Sherdog Fight Finder. Thank God ESPN has teamed up with this bastion of accurate MMA sports reporting.

Not content to bore the fuck out of me in the octagon, Jake O’Brien is now boring us in interview format. I was originally hoping he would offer an apology for his fight with Herring and possibly some kind of refund, but this is the best we got:

Explaining his calculated approach on the ground, O’Brien replied: “I knew how good he was at staying out of stuff. Watching his fights and seeing who he’s fought, I knew he was just about impossible to submit. I didn’t want to tire myself out and then get caught in something. After he caught me I went back to what I know best, and I stuck with it since it was working. “

Translation: “I didn’t have the skills to beat him so I lay on top of him and humped him like a drunken fourteen year old.”

As I used to do back in the day, here’s the first of many media previews. This morning we have Kalib ‘Smelly’ Starnes vs Chris ‘The Cat Smasher’ Leben. Pay close attention to each fighter’s bout with Jason MacDonald.

Kalib Starnes vs Jason MacDonald
Anderson Silva vs. Chris Leben
Mike Swick vs. Chris Leben
Chris Leben vs Jason MacDonald
Chris Leben vs Luigi Fioravanti

The embedded video clips after the jump

Kalib Starnes vs Jason MacDonald

Anderson Silva vs. Chris Leben

Mike Swick vs. Chris Leben

Chris Leben vs Jason MacDonald

Chris Leben vs Luigi Fioravanti

This just in: freaky giant Hong Man Choi was denied a fighting license today by the CSAC for undisclosed medical reasons. My bet is the world’s largest herpes sore. That leaves penis-chested Brock Lesnar without an opponent. All this oh so annoying paperwork is really starting to piss off K1 USA promoter Mike Kogan, who is apparently hoping his use of the word ‘Fuck’ will bring him the same luck it affords Dana White:

“Why would I sell tickets to the largest venue in the country to hold a pay-per-view, sell the worldwide rights and then sit on my (expletive) and not do what I need to do to be licensed? It’s crazy. This is a process and we’re going through that process and we will be licensed.”

Why oh why indeed? Newsflash, Kogan: Perhaps if the event wasn’t next weekend and you weren’t fucking the dog on the paperwork, we’d believe you. As it is, there’s something called reality that’s a bit hard to ignore.

Of course, it’s interesting to note this article is written by Kevin Iole, who was the creepy molester-looking guy interviewed for no reason on the Countdown to UFC 71 show. Obviously facts are facts, but it is kind of interesting that Kevin magically shows up in UFC programming, and is now writing pretty damning articles regarding the fate of K1 Dynamite. I’m just sayin’!

UPDATE: Speculation on the interwebs is that Choi’s denial may have something to do with the fact that he was knocked out on March 3rd during K1’s Hawaii show. Typically after getting KO’ed a fighter is suspended for 90 days, so who knows. Also a possibility is that Hong Man Choi is actually a cyborg.

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