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The great thing about reffing an unregulated event is that you just collect a paycheck and fuck off. There’s no ‘being accountable’ for your actions, there’s no commission to face afterwards. Instead of ‘the safety of the fighters’ being your number one concern, your main concern is whatever you feel like. In Mario Yamasaki’s case at EliteXC Uprising, it seemed like he was mainly concerned with getting someone killed.

First, there was the Shields/Verissimo fight: For thirty seconds, Jake Shields sat in full mount on Verissimo and unloaded over 60 unanswered punches. No, I’m not exaggerating … i went back and counted. Yamasaki stood watching, waiting for the ‘oh fuck I’m stuck’ look in Verissimo’s eyes to change to the ‘who am I / where am I / I can has cheeseburger’ look.

Next up we have the Robbie Lawler vs Ninja Rua fight. Lawler dropped Ninja with a pretty brutal combo and then went in for the kill. While Lawler pounded away, Ninja waved his hands in the air like he just didn’t care. He looked like an epileptic Jim Henson puppet rather than a fighter intelligently defending himself. After Yamasaki stopped it, Matt Hughes did a very Christian thing and took Yamasaki to task for allowing Ninja to turn the other cheek … and the other, and the other, and the other:

Though his man had won, former UFC champ Matt Hughes (Pictures) charged into the cage, where he got into Yamasaki’s face and berated the official for letting the fight continue the way it had.

Anyways, it sucks that you’ve got refs like Herb Dean stopping fights too early and guys like Yamasaki who won’t stop the fight until someone’s been beaten half dead. Is there any high profile ref out there who consistently hits the sweet spot?

**UPDATE** I had to remove a whole paragraph of fun because once again I’m a stupid retard who doesn’t fact check my work. I accused Yamasaki of being the ref in the Heath/Sobral fight, when it was obviously Pornstache Mazzagatti. Thanks to the better educated Ryan for correcting me, and not being mean about it!

Hey just a quick note to say I’ve finally managed to get up and am now in the process of purging bile and other vitriolic substances from my body. I’ll get some commentary up as soon as my brain is surrounded in non-alcoholic liquid again.

Gina displays her dubious knowledge of how scales work by lifting one foot off during the weigh in. Although considering the scale looks like a $22 Wal-Mart one, maybe you can trick it that way. This fine photograph is by Greg Honda, who has a whole ton of awesome MMA pictures.

Everyone has been waiting with baited breath for me to comment on what Tonya Evinger said about Gina Carano. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten more emails asking me what I think of this:

“I’d like to make out with Gina, but I am here to knock her out. Either way she wants it, though, is fine with me.”

Most people didn’t really look past the comment other than to say “Har har that’s so hot”. Me? When I hear shit like that, I wonder if it’s just Tonya trying to get some attention. I question everything … when the waitress at a bar flirts with me, I don’t assume it’s because she likes me. I assume it’s because she wants a bigger tip. All girls are sneaky, and you should really do some investigation before believing anything that rolls off their forked tongues.

And after investigating, here’s what I’ve found. The good news is there’s a lot of proof that Tonya meant just what she said. Delving through her Myspace page, I discovered that not only is she listed as ‘Bi’ in her orientation, but that she’s really really bisexual. Not bisexual like all girls say they’re bisexual when they’re 19. Tonya is full on get drunk and ride her girl friend’s face bisexual.

The great things about bisexuals is they swing both ways. Lesbians are all cool, but most guys forget that, by definition, lesbians aren’t going to fuck them. Not the case for Tonya. There’s a good amount of boy and girl attention going on through comments on her myspace and her comments on various myspace pages. So in short, I am going to conclude this investigation by saying Tonya definitely swings both ways. And that’s okay by me.

**UPDATE** Looks like Tonya Evinger is really playing up this whole bisexual thing. In this video interview with Jason Mayhem Miller, she talks about how she’s gonna pull Carano’s clothes off. At this point there’s no doubt in my mind: Tonya is trying to get into Gina’s head. Big thanks to PMWillis for pointing this video out to me … I’d stopped watching them because of ‘$kala’. And as a last side note, Mayhem Miller is still flirting with danger by working with ProElite.

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