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Two weeks ago Vancouver city councilors decided to ban MMA … or more accurately they decided to pass the buck and make the province responsible for regulating the sport. Of course, the two things both have the same end result: No new MMA events in Vancouver for the forseeable future. Provincial politics are glacial, and good luck pushing mixed martial arts through before 2009.

Anyways, I didn’t really care about that. As a person living in the province of Quebec, I hate snobby Vancouver with a passion so they get what they fucking deserve. I’d be just as happy if the Nazis took over there and started gassing everyone. And while I haven’t heard of any gassings yet, it certainly does seem like some of Hitler’s policies are kicking in:

Downtown bars are turning people away because they’re wearing brands of clothing that are being identified as gangster-wear. Blacklisted brands include labels like Ed Hardy, Affliction and Xtreme Couture, he said. All of these use trendy motifs like tattoos, skulls and chains.

If it was up to me, these brands would be banned off the face of the earth. I would stuff space shuttles full of that shit and the people who wear them and launch them into cold darkness of deep space. Of course, it’s not up to me and it shouldn’t be up to club owners either. Because the only people dumber than bloggers are bar owners. They see specific ethnic groups they don’t like wearing specific types of clothes, and since they can’t ban the minority they just ban the clothes minorities wear.

In this case it’s the Asians who are getting theirs with this ban … they’re all over Affliction shirts like white on rice. And while there may be a growing Asian gang problem in Vancouver, I’d say a bigger issue is a growing moron problem in Vancouver. And since morons wear all sorts of different brands of clothing, I think we should just ban all clothes and go to clubs naked. Good luck hiding a gun then.

I have an admission to make: I like Mr Sunshine. Who’s that, you might ask? I’m still not 100% sure. The guy’s name is Steve Cofield and he’s a jock for Fox Sports radio that may or may not be nationally syndicated. I couldn’t tell you … I didn’t even know AM radio still existed, let alone who’s on it or how it works.

Regardless, when I started seeing links to his site I wasn’t impressed at first. The guy has managed to take a simple wordpress blog and ugly it up worse than a Geocities site circa 1994. Him and the ProElite guys should get together and teach a course on how to make websites shitty. Please buddy … learn how to format your pictures.

But then I looked past the superficial shit and listened to a couple of his audio clips, which is the meat and potatos of the site. And it’s pretty good shit.

The reason I like Steve is that he asks the hard questions, and if the guy tries to duck them he just keeps asking. He’s also confrontational and loves to fuck with people. He took an audio clip of Sam Caplan ripping on Chuck Liddell’s performance and played it back for John Hackelman. Hijinx ensued. So in general I’m happy that we’ve got a guy like Steve who has good access through his radio show and isn’t all about slurping cock like Kevin Iole is.

I don’t really want to get into a big debate on this whole steroid thing again, but just for disclosure reasons I thought I’d put it out there that I think Sean Sherk’s positive test for Nandrolone was caused by one of the several hundred different kinds of supplements he takes. Regardless, I still think this piece of news is stupid:

Sean Sherk passed a lie detector test saying that he did not knowingly use steroids. While certainly not conclusive, it can’t hurt his chances at getting his suspension over turned or at the very least reduced.

I’m not a lawyer (jeez, I have to say that a lot lately huh?) but I have watched several seasons of Law & Order, and one thing I can say as fact is that Jill Hennessey was the hottest Assistant DA on the show. In fact, if there was a God and there was a heaven, I would spend my days there engaged in a L&O DA orgy, with Jill taking the lead. Unfortunately my priest said that’s not the kind of thing that goes on in Heaven, and with that my faith crumbled. Now I just have a dark hole where my faith was.

The other thing I learned from Law & Order is polygraphs are bullshit and haven’t been considered valid since the last of the Communists were thrown out of this great nation of ours:

While some people believe that polygraph tests are reliable, there is little scientific evidence to support this claim. For example, while some claim the test to be accurate in 90% – 95% of the cases, critics charge that rather than a “test”, the method amounts to an inherently unstandardizable interrogation technique whose accuracy cannot be established. A 1997 survey of 421 psychologists estimated the test’s average validity at about 61%, a little better than chance.

So I have no idea what the fuck Sherk and his lawyers are trying to do with this polygraph crap. The only thing I can think of is that they’ve identified the supplement that was tainted and are now building their case around proving Sherk didn’t know it was tainted. Of course, Keith Kiezer has already laid out the practical approach to getting cleared of a steroid charge. But I guess since Sherk’s ruling is in California and the CSAC guys are morons, his shark lawyers must think this might work instead.

It’s Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada, so posting is gonna be light until Monday night. But don’t worry about me abandoning you completely … I’ve done a bunch of blogging ahead of time to take care of you while I’m out getting stuffed on turkey. Of course, this always brings about the danger that what I’m writing will be hopelessly out of date by the time it shows up on the site, so cut me some slack if that’s the case. For fuck’s sake, the fact that some of you come here for factual information is kinda scary. Don’t do it. Seriously.

First on the list of bogus stories that may or may not be true, TAGG radio reported yesterday that Fedor has signed with Russian company M-1 for the price of 10 million dollars. First off, this is TAGG talking, and they have the reliability of a coin-toss when it comes to shit like this. Next, you might recognize M-1 as being the promotion company Fedor’s managers own. Third, the fact that M-1 ‘owns’ Fedor means paying 10 million for Fedor is like me paying myself a billion dollars for this site. Yay, I’m rich. Oh wait, no I’m not.

With no other alternatives looking solid at the moment, I don’t doubt Fedor and his managers may be planning their own show for him to fight in. After all, the Bodog show was an M-1 show in every way but the actual name. This is also a good way to say ‘We’re in no rush and we don’t need you” to the UFC. So if this is true, it’s good news: we get to see Fedor fight again soon, and it’s not like this ‘deal’ with M-1 is going to affect the UFC’s ability to sign Fedor.

This is about as surprising as PRIDE’s offices closing. Yesterday we reported that CFFC was dumping that annoying PPV model and going with the more lucritive ‘Internet’ model. Of course, how they planned to make money off the internet was still a big question mark. I guess they didn’t get to think that far ahead, because the investor issue that caused them to drop PPV access has also caused them to cancel the entire show.

This is proving to be a sad month for freakshow fans as the promotions they rely on for retarded matchups are falling arpart one by one. The problem with this one? An investor apparently backed out. On the surface this seems to make sense … investors don’t give a shit about MMA. If an evil investor doesn’t think he’s gonna make his money back on an event or if profit margins aren’t high enough, it seems logical that an investor would yank his funds.

Of course, this isn’t high school and the investor isn’t your dad funding your garage band’s first demo CD. Most smart companies doing big money deals tend to put their agreements down on paper, and investors pull out after an event doesn’t meet their expectations, not a week before the show is supposed to go on. But hey … I’m not a lawyer and I’m not a business expert, so who knows.

Perhaps the CFFC did go into this deal with an investor without taking legal precautions to protect themselves from this kind of company-busting scenario. Or maybe we’ll be hearing about a lawsuit against the investor in the next few events. I guess we’ll see. But one thing it looks like we won’t see any time soon is Kimbo Slice vs Tank Abbott. Boo hoo.

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