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My grandmother often asks me why I never come to visit her. “Because you’re fucking boring, bitch!” I say. Sometimes I wish I could slap people through the telephone. Anyways, this sentiment extends past my annoying grandma: old fighters are notoriously boring as well. Last night at the IFL Chicago event, they proved this true yet again as Maurice Smith and Marco Ruas fought in a snoozefest of a fight:

By the time the third round began, at least half of the crowd had left and more were following suit. Those that braved stay behind voiced their displeasure loudly. As in the first two rounds, Ruas got a takedown. Perhaps in an effort to salvage some face, Ruas, to his credit, passed Smith’s guard and then attempted a painfully ineffective north-south choke. The crowd, though, didn’t seem to notice or care that Ruas had bothered to move this time the bout was on the ground, and just booed with abandon.

Of course it’s important to note that roughly 1/3 of the people in attendance were given free tickets, so leaving early wasn’t as big of a deal as if they’d actually paid to show up.

MMAWeekly has an interesting article on the safety differences between a cage and a ring:

But this isn’t settled yet. The statement that a cage is safer than a ring is not one of architecture or physics. It’s an argument used to combat a particular perception. The problem with this answer is not one of veracity; the problem is one of phraseology. A cage is a place where you keep an animal, in many cases, a dangerous or vicious animal.

This is a pretty broad statement to make. I’ve kept my sister locked in a cage for years and she’s the most docile person I know. It wasn’t always this way though … it took me years to get her to stop all her screaming, wailing, and crying. But fortunately the soothing effect of her cage finally took care of my problems and now she just sits in there rocking back and forth quietly.

It’s Sunday and I’m far too lazy to do anything but watch MMA. If you’re in the same mood, then you’re in luck : someone has put a bunch of fights from the GFC event onto Dailymotion. I doubt they’ll last long, so see them while you can:

Michael O’Donnell vs Adriano Nasal

Demian Maia vs Ryan Stout

Nissen Osterneck vs Chris Meyers

Rafeal Dias vs Phil Cardella

Leopoldo Serão vs Robert Wince

Vinicious Pezão Magalhães vs George Bush

Daniel Moraes vs Matt Brown

Ronaldo de Souza “Jacare” vs Bill Vucick

Chris Brennan vs Adam Disabato

Alex Fierra “Cacareco” vs Brandon Lee Hinkle

“The Wildman” Thomas Denny vs Fredson Piaxao

Before leaving for the day I thought I’d share a retardo-hot picture of Gina Carano I found on the MA Fighting site. She looks so hot in this picture I would sacrifice my grandmother to the devil just to get my mits on dem tits. Oh my god, the devil has just appeared before me! Excuse me guys, I got some stuff to take care of…

Jon ‘Felch’ Fitch is rated the #8 welterweight fighter in the world. He’s also paid so poorly that he has to bus tables at a bar to make ends meet. Fitch isn’t the only one in the UFC having to work a second job to make ends meet. Frank Mir is a bouncer by night, and Elvis Sionsic has been known to turn tricks when he’s a bit low on rent money. But he doesn’t let you kiss him on the lips. That’s just too personal, baby.

(As a side note, my spell checker just impressed me by correcting my spelling for the word ‘felch’. What an awesome world we live in)

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