In case you missed it – and you’re a damn fool if you did because, hey, free MMA – Bellator 108 was last night, and the marquee bout featured a dude who used to howl before and after his fights and be subject to insane amounts of racism when he fought in PRIDE. That’s right, I’m talking about Quinton “Rampage” Jackson (yeah, yeah, he used to be a UFC champ, too – so what?). Anyway, since Bellator’s ill-fated pay-per-view foray did not happen thanks to Tito Ortiz being decapitated, Rampage got to face another Octagon castoff in the form of Joey Beltran, and it went down something like this…
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So we had a contest, and just like the title of the classic De La Soul album, the stakes is high – a snappy and creative movie pitch for a free copy of AMBUSHED, featuring Dolph Lundgren, Vinnie Jones and Randy “Fuck You, I’ve Gone Hollywood” Couture. Who among the commenters crafted the best, most hilarious entry? They were pretty much all great, but here are the ones that stuck out the most to me:
- PleaseRewind’s untitled feature that’s “A remake of Akira Kurosawa’s Ran featuring Miesha Tate and Ronda Rousey. The (adopted) sisters fighting for the future of Japan after their father (Dana White?) abdicated the throne.”
Why this one was awesome: Because Akira Kurosawa’s Hidden Fortress still gives me a stiffy, and name-dropping the best director to ever come out of Japan is never a bad thing. Continue after the Jump ››
So much news, so much terse Japanese poetry.
- Bellator releases/ champ Ben Askren. I guess Bjorn/ ain’t into “boring”.
- Oh noes! Where will Ben/ go? “Not here!” said Dana White. / Also, foul language.
- Meekly, Ray Sefo/ said the WSOF will/ take him. Ben is sad.
You ready to win some free stuff? In honor of the movie “AMBUSHED“, which just came out on Blu-Ray and DVD and stars Dolph Lundgren, Vinnie Jones and Randy Couture (yes, our pal Randy is in another action film), Fightlinker is going to have a contest. Here are the details:
- The prize: A copy of AMBUSHED, for you to watch and cherish.
- What you have to do to win: Come up with a movie title and one or two sentence description of a fictional flick featuring an MMA fighter. For example, if I were to enter this contest, I’d submit my proposal for “JUICED TO THE GILLS, starring Vitor Belfort – The story of a hard-boiled detective with the Rio de Janeiro Police Department who’s very good at his job, but maybe too good. Should Detective Belfort’s arrests be voided just because his blood has been replaced with pure testosterone?”
You ever have one of those ex-girlfriends who was just completely bat-shit crazy, somehow, someway she found new ways to top herself in the psychosis department? Like, maybe she was a former pornstar, and you had a couple kids with her, and she had you arrested on domestic violence charges that were later dropped, and she tweeted pics of syringes and accused you of being on drugs, meanwhile she appears on all the morning talk shows high as a kite, then announces that she’s getting back into porn “for the sake of her kids”? No? You don’t? Well, Tito Ortiz does.
Boy, does he ever.
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