GSP Pregnant with Aliens According to TMZ

Yes, this is yet another Georges St. Pierre post, but bear with me.

Yesterday, craptacular gossip website TMZ reported that the UFC’s reigning (but very much disputed) welterweight champ was stepping back from competition both because his dad is dying and he inadvertently knocked someone up. Now, of course this is TMZ we’re talking about, a media outlet that regularly offers up gems on Justin Bieber banging prostitutes and Kim Kardashian’s butt seeking dual citizenship – and when it comes to MMA, they infamously reported that Kimo was dead. But curiously, TMZ often gets things right too (see: anything to do with Quinton “Rampage” Jackson going for a leisurely drive to Tito Ortiz and Jenna to Mayhem Miller acting da fool).

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The Great GSP/Johny Hendricks Mystery

The facts are thus: On Saturday night, champ Georges St. Pierre stepped into the Octagon against challenger Johny Hendricks to defend his belt for the umpteenth time. The two fought for five full rounds, with each round consisting of five minutes as mandated by the Unified Rules. After time expired, the judges – who are trained and licensed by the Nevada State Athletic Commission – rendered a split decision in favor on GSP, a decision which enabled him to retain the belt. Oh, and one last fact: St. Pierre took such a beating, he looked like he’d been slowly digested by a Sarlacc Pit for the last ten years and then abruptly spit out because he tasted too Canadian.
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Watch Dana White Lose His Damn Mind

UFC 167 was last night, and it was filled with all sorts of violent goodness, like Tyron Woodley snuffing out Josh Koscheck’s meager existence and Robbie Lawler laying some big sticks of dynamite on the tracks and derailing the Rory MacDonald hype-train something fierce. But the main event – which saw champ Georges St. Pierre take a hellacious beating at the hands of challenger Johny Hendricks, somehow steal a split decision, and half-assed retired afterwards… well, it’s enough to make our favorite bald-headed promoter go ballistic. Watch as he rages against the Nevada State Athletic Commission, GSP, space aliens and lost luggage!
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UFC 167 Chat is Open for Business

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Oh Snap, There’s a UFC Tonight

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