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Pee testing is about to get way sexier

A while back we ‘reported’ that pee tests in Nevada might be getting a bit more personal due to Thiago Silva’s pee swapping attempt. Now the details of exactly what that entails are out, and they’re pretty fucked up:

“When Thiago Silva came in he pulled down his shorts and showed his actual penis, but as he turned towards the toilet he palmed a bottle, grabbing his penis in the other hand, pretended like he was urinating but was really putting the contents of bottle into the sample. We know now that Thiago’s sample was fake urine. It took him until the B sample to fess up to that,” NSAC head Keith Kizer tells

“So the changes that we’re making are – and it’s unfortunate we have to go to this level because guys like Thiago Silva and Kevin Randleman ruined it for the bunch – that you need to see the urine coming out of the penis and into the cup.

“All fighters will be shirtless, and they shouldn’t have a problem with that since they fight shirtless in front of thousands of people anyway, and they will pull their pants down to the knees and then urinate right in front of the inspector. They have to see the urine actually going into the vial.”

Yes, I’m sure that because fighters compete shirtless all the time, they’ll be comfortable standing nearly naked with their shorts around their ankles pissing while someone stares intently at their junk. Those two things are practically the same! That’s what I thought anyways … the lifeguards at the public pool didn’t seem to agree as much.

But they (and the police that followed) just aren’t as reasonable as Kieth Kizer. Because it only makes sense that if two people are caught over a five year stretch of time (Randleman got nailed in 2006), everyone should have to suffer through invasive genitalia examinations during pee tests. Now excuse me while I go figure out how I can be the person to watch Gina Carano urinate.

  • GoldenArms

    who cares. the TSA is checking under boobs and inside baby diapers for weapons of mass destruction. fighters sign up for this, the TSA is infringing upon our Bill of Rights

  • Blackula Jonez

    NSAC is just trying to see who is packing or lacking in the crotchular region.

    Bunch of size queens over there, how much does it suck now to run out of the cage and try to work up a semi stiff cock just so some government official doesn’t get the wrong idea.

  • repenttokyo

    how will they be able to urinate with erections?  maybe i am confused by how the testing will really work.

  • G Funk

    Volds already applied for this job & is in the “considering” pile.

  • FiveBoltMain

    ^ ha!

  • iamphoenix

    ^ha butter’s has a micropenis just like on southpark.
    they gonna measure dicks too.

  • jackalmiller

    G-Funk Damn You. I was going to say that about subo, but you beat me to the punch.

  • subo

    Stage fright is a real thing and it fucking sucks.

  • glassjawsh

    shut the fuck up golden arms

  • Jemaleddin

    To be clear, this is about how we had to do piss tests in the military.

  • szappan

    Won’t make the tests much cleaner though. On the Rogan podcast he told a story of an unnamed fighter that fills up his bladder with someone else’s clean urine with a catheter. Now that’s fucked up… guess it works though.

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    Yeah catheterizing urine’s been going on for ages – but this lets ACs say they’re being stringent without having to make room in the budget for blood testing.  At this point, a fighter with some name recognition would have to come out and say that’s he’s been using and its because they don’t do blood testing.

  • G Funk

    I can’t pee if someone’s looking at my peepee. We’d have to be near a waterfall with other guys peeing in the water to break my seal.

  • frickshun

    My stagefright comes & goes.

  • Yusuf

    to get your cat to the vet, are right. Possible causes are stnoes that form in the bladder, crystals and it is to have his urethra blocked. It could also be a bladder infection. This can become very serious and fatal in a short time. Get him to the vet immediately, and blood in the urine of rapport.Il will probably be catheterized and attached to a pee bag , which is the common scenario in cats blocked. Other solutions may be, it will be gutted , but the blocks can reappear in this way. The veterinarian may want to keep the night, and possibly do x-rays to see if there are crystals and stnoes in the bladder. If it rocks and depending on the type, you may be lucky to only give a prescription food such as Hill c / d or urine medical SO. If the stnoes are not the type that the previous dissolveable, surgery will be necessary to make them sortir.Les antibiotics are also possible because there clearly inflammation and trauma to the bladder or urethra. Anyway, there is no home remedy that you can give at home, in this cas.Mon brother almost lost his cat to a block, and her cat was rescued. Another time, a dead cat was brought to my work. The owner was found in the litter box. Apparently he had been blocked and try to go, but could not and end, has died. My cat had crystals about 5 years ago. After c / d for 3 months, it has been well since. After all this is with your cat, consider adding canned food for food. A male cat normally should ideally have a bit of canned food every day. The liquid contents helps to keep things flushed , so dire.Je not trying to scare you, but it is serious and time is a factor. Vet, maintenant.Hope this helps:)

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