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Plastic Paddy vs Killa B

It’s been a great run, but all good things must come to an end. Marcus Davis hasn’t fought on American soil since subbing Pete Spratt in April 2007. Since then, he’s gone to war in his ‘homeland’ of Ireland twice (North Ireland AND the real one), four times in England (twice in London) and at the UFC’s debut in Cologne, Germany, assembling a respectable 5-2 record with his only losses coming to Mike Swick and Dan ‘I’m Actually From Where I Claim To Be From’ Hardy. It appears that Zuffa is finally becoming more confident in it’s ability to sell out overseas cards without using Davis, because he’s coming stateside for his next fight. Quick, guess who this is courtesy of: has learned that Marcus Davis will finally fight stateside for the first time in more than two years when he takes on The Ultimate Fighter (TUF) 6 alum, Ben Saunders, in what promises to be a hard-hitting 170-pound showdown.

Saunders was very hyped coming into his last fight against Swick at the Germany card (undefeated, Jeet Kune Do, 6’3, somehow inserted a rotten squash inside of Brandon Wolff’s forehead while kneeing him), but proceeded to largely hold Swick in his guard while killing time en route to a second round TKO for ‘Quick’. At 26 and with only one loss on his record, Saunders is far from done, but a win over Davis would go a long way to quieting the doubters and get him back into contention.

Davis, on the other hand, kind of lost his mind after losing the split to Hardy, babbling about judging rounds minute by minute and asking fundamental, existential questions about life, the universe, and scoring:

“We’ve got to figure out what do you score more,” Davis said. “Do you score ‘one takedown is greater than however many strikes,’ or should a takedown even be considered for full points or full benefit if somebody takes somebody down and they don’t so anything with it.

“If you take somebody down and automatically they stand up, or they take them down and they don’t really do anything, they don’t ground-and-pound, what kind of credit do you do for that?”

THAT’S WHY WE HAVE JUDGES INSTEAD OF COMPUTERS, MARCUS. If you STILL think this has validity, he uses Bisping vs Hamill as an example – and calls it an excellent decision. And if you STILL think this has validity, jump off a bridge.