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Questing with Fitch Dragonborn!

Check it out: Jon Fitch is so gay for the Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim that he created a dedicated twitter account to geek out over the game. His character’s name is Fitch Dragonborn and he’s a level 47 dark elf. I had to resist the urge to punch myself and steal my own lunch money just saying that.

I don’t get all the hype over Skyrim. As far as I’m concerned, it’s just a bunch of living sex dolls sending you on endless fetch quests. The only fun I had was killing innocent people, stripping them down to their skivvies and then stacking them in giant sex piles. And you know what? You can’t even set the sex piles on fire. Interactive world my ass.

(via the Middle Easy)

  • Reverend Clint

    skyrims fun… im about half done with it. My guys a nord named Ash

  • Letibleu

    What are you all talking about?I’m lost :(

  • Reverend Clint

    its a game for people over 5’5″

  • Reverend Clint

    Fisting with Bitch Dragonporn!

  • Monstrosity

    better than doing fetch quests for living sex dolls in real life.

    I play a Breton Conjurer who kind of looks like Alice Cooper from the 70s

  • Shibo

    I didn’t think it was possible for me to hate Jon Fitch more. Thanks, Ryan.

    I like the true confessions in the comments too. “I, too, am a fucking dork.”

  • subo

    This game is fucking amazing. 36 level Nord, but I imagine I’ll be creating more characters after this one.

  • Blackula Jonez

    I can kinda see why people are into this game, but I can’t see myself getting into it.

  • Reverend Clint

    its like gay sex… subo is level 36

  • subo

    The caves I had to brave were dark and damp

  • dick

    This is hilarious. The thing about the sex piles, that is.

    Poopoo Face, level 14 high elf mage, checking in… I would be a lot higher but I have a life.

  • iamphoenix

    ^no you don’t.

    I sold my XBOX, because I have a life.

  • Reverend Clint

    ha yeah im like level 15 or something… been playing cod this week

  • dick

    I have actually only had time to play it during downtime at work, haha. I got rid of my only game console a long time ago and the only movies I have time to watch anymore are pr0n.

  • glassjawsh

    stop trying to defend yourself for being a nerd, embrace that shit. I’ve put more than 60 hours into every final fantasy since IV (except for XI and XIV, because fuck XI and XIV) and I’ve paused every one since IX to have have sex. i have a stack of rpgs as tall as my dresser. and it hasnt impeded my pussy grabbing capabilities at all. some chicks love that you’re confident enough in you’re own awesomeness to not give a fuck if anyone thinks you’re cool or not.

  • frickshun

    I’ve never played any of this nonsense. Except for COD. That’s not nonsense. It’s man-business.

  • dulljake

    I’m level 40, and that was before the patch that fucked up the game. Can’t believe I nw have something in common with Fitch. Well, that and we both can’t finish anything. 

  • Shibo

    Holy shit, we finally hear from Jake, and it’s about a fucking video game? What the hell, dude?

  • CAP

    Level 40 carpet burns.