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Randy Couture strikes back

When Randy Couture said the only way he’d come out of retirement was to fight Steven Seagal, the sane among us knew he was only fucking around. Basically, Randy was saying that he is not coming back, and the only way he would even entertain the notion would be for a high-profile, big-money fight against an opponent who had absolutely no chance of presenting any semblance whatsoever of a threat to him and his future cinematic greatness. Naturally, he chose to use Seagal as his benchmark, who has become somewhat of a running joke in MMA discourse.

Seagal apparently did not see the irony in Randy’s statement as he recently accepted the “challenge.” CagePotato spoke with Randy to get his take on this unexpected development:

“I’m the one that started the joke as an off-handed comment I made to Jay Glazer — that I’d only come out of retirement if it were to fight Seagal. Obviously now somebody has talked to him about it and it has gotten some legs. I’m not surprised that he wants to do it in private, remote location where nobody could see it happen. Obviously I intended it as a joke. I don’t think it would really happen.”

Look, Seagal is a very legitimate martial artist. He’s a 7th degree black belt in Aikido. But the dude is a 60 year old “C” actor whose had the fortune of riding Anderson Silva’s coattails back into the spotlight. He may be a “master” in his art, and certainly in his mind, but he simply cannot compete with a guy who only four years ago was the UFC heavyweight champion.

The amazing thing about Seagal is not even that he’s come to believe his characters are real and that he can grab any man by the wrist and toss him eight feet across a room. You expect that level of delusion from some actors. Shit, Sean Penn wanted to travel to Iraq and negotiate a truce with Saddam Hussein, for Christ’s sake. The amazing thing about Seagal, and he must be given credit for it, is that he’s managed to stay in the spotlight long past his expiration date.

I know it’s a hopeless cause, but it is Christmas time, and Dana White really ought to make an effort to put this one together. He put Randy in there with James Toney. Can’t really pontificate about “freak fights” after that. And hey, this one has just as much of a chance of coming together as GSP/Silva, so maybe it’s not that ridiculous.

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