Ronda Rousey to headline UFC 157 against…wait for it…Liz Carmouche

The first time Liz Carmouche ever stepped into a MMA fight, fresh out of a four year stint in the Marine Corps, she lost by second round armbar. The first time she steps into the UFC, on February 26th, she’ll lose by first round armbar. Why? Because the UFC is throwing her ass into the cage with Ronda Rousey, and that’s just how Ronda rolls.

Dana White used the UFC on FOX 5 press conference to present Ronda with her UFC belt and announce the match-up. The question on everyone’s mind was of course why Cyborg wasn’t the first title challenger, and aside from the obvious that Cyborg needs to find a new doctor, embrace a little femininity, and start shedding some of that muscle mass, White offered a more diplomatic response:

“That was obviously the fight we wanted to make at 135 pounds. We worked hard to make that fight. I believe that this fight will happen and I truly believe the next fight will be the Cyborg one.”

So for the time being, Carmouche will do. No disrespect, Liz is a tenacious fighter, and has a fucking awesome last name, but she simply lacks the physicality to ward off Ronda’s strategy of just tossin’ a bitch to the mat and grabbing an arm. Basically, they’re handing their newest acquisition a nice little Christmas gift to present her to the masses.

Even in defeat though, this will be great for Carmouche. Right now, outside of us sick fucks who love women’s MMA for all the wrong reasons, she’s an unknown. And she’s about to fight in a UFC main event atop Dan Henderson, Lyoto Machida, Urijah Faber, and alongside an opponent with a massive amount of attention surrdounding her. That means Road to the Octagon shows, overhwelming press obligations, and suddenly the world knowing her name, which as luck would have it is a pretty memorable one.

So can Carmouche shock the world? Probably not with a win, but she can indeed with a strong showing. Hey, Rocky lost his first fight with Apollo, and look where he ended up, poor then rich then poor again, stupid then smart then stupid again. The world works in funny ways.

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