Ronda’s not here to make friends

You’d think on the Monday after breaking another person’s arm backwards, that’s what we’d be talking about in relation to Ronda Rousey. Instead, the MMA world is a flutter over the twitters sent back and forth between Rousey and former female Fedor equivalent Tara LaRosa. Lemme sum that up for ya:


Afterwards, Ronda’s mom went on her blog (she has a blog! And it’s just as good as you’d expect based on all the stories we’ve heard about her) and had this to say about the haters and game players:

There seems to have been quite a bit of trash-talking from some woman trying to pick a fight with Ronda. I could tell her she might as well save her breath.

When Ronda was barely 17 years old, she was number one in the U.S., would go to judo tournaments and her competitors, all much older and with many more years of competition experience would walk by, try to catch her eye and glare at her.  Since Ronda was a huge Pokemon fan, she spent all of her time in between matches playing on her Nintendo and never even noticed these people giving her the evil eye.

One woman skipped several tournaments setting up a head to head match against Ronda that would occur at either the Olympic trials or the senior nationals. We were sitting at a tournament and my friend commented, “You notice that (*** ) didn’t show up again? She’s trying to psyche Ronda out. She wants Ronda to get all nervous about fighting her, and then have a let down when she’s not here. She’s hoping your daughter will convince herself they won’t have to fight, and then, when Ronda is unprepared, she’ll show up. You better tell your daughter to be mentally ready at any time.”

I looked down at Ronda, sitting on the floor, playing Pokemon and said, “I’m not telling her anything. Ronda never thinks about those women walking by her trying to stare her down, and she certainly doesn’t think about whether so-and-so is going to show up at this tournament. If anything, she is thinking of some excuse she can use to convince Jim Pedro that she’s close enough making weight that it’s okay for her to have a chocolate doughnut.”

Ronda paused in Pokemon for a minute, looked up and complained, “Big Jim will never let me have a doughnut.”

Later, she put her Pokemon game down, went out and won the senior national championships.

So just to summarize this story in embarassing mom keypoints. “Okay there, when Ronda was a wee teenager she did nothing but play pokemon all day. No time for boys, no time even for showers. Because of the smell she had a nickname that rhymed with Ash, the big Pokemon hunter in the game. I’ll let you guess what it was, now. Anywho, some other girls were trying to mess with Ronda but she was all like ‘I love Pokemon, gimme a goddamn donut *burp*’ And not only did she win the title, but all the donuts too. The end.”

Great story, mom. Next time someone calls out Ronda, her mom should bring up all that bedwetting she did through high school and how she got through that period without friends just fine too.

  • frickshun

    Uhhhh…..I think you missed her mom’s point entirely. Let me put it to you in Harkness terms: Mrs. Harkess told all of the haters that “Although my son had the brains to go to any university he chose & potentially set himself up for great wealth later in life……he chose to eat chocolate donuts for 2 of 3 daily meals & cover his rent by selling t-shirts with pictures of 2 chicken-men engaging in fisticuffs.”

  • Predator8u

    I dont really care for womans MMA because they should be makin babies and delicious foods instead of getting punched and kicked. Plus most fights just seemed mismatched, then making me fell even worse BUT after seeing how Ronda is a killer in the cage and knowing of our similar pokemon pasts. I will be watching her. Closely. I wonder if shes on psn or xbl?

  • CAP

    ^Was gonna say WMMA is finally getting interesting!

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    Rousey likes Pokemons?  Damn, she’s not hot anymore.  Just a deadly dork.  I’d respect D&D more.

  • AlFyiavb

    Sorry for being dense, but what insulting name rhymes with Ash?

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    Considering it relates to smell I’d guess “Ass” or “Gash”

  • CAP

    smash!

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    I forgot to mention I would love to watch her rapefight Larosa.  That might go two … even three minutes.

  • Billytk

    Don’t get me wrong I like Rhonda but I’m getting sick of the hype if she’s really as good as her fanboys say why does she want to run down to 135 instead of proving she’s the best and fighting Cyborg at her proper weight

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    First off, if she can make 135 it’s her proper weight.  Second, I read something about them even trying to get Cyborg to move down so they can have one strong women’s division.

  • fightlinker

    yeah fighting Cyborg is kinda a dead end. Either you win and you end up without any contenders like Cyborg now or you lose and there’s nothing left for you to do. I think she’d still beat Cyborg but she’s smart not jumping right into it. Smarter to go to 135 and smash heads.

    As for her being all hype … that silver medal in the Olympics is worth something, and the 5 wins in under a minute thus far are pretty impressive even though the opposition isn’t tough. Those throws and subs will work on about 90% of the WMMA fighters out there right now. I agree lets wait till she cuts through Kaufman and Tate before going crazy, but as it stands now she’s setting up to be one of the best if not the best female fighter in the world

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    If you like her so much, Ryan, why can’t she fight polar bears and tigers in her fifth ever MMA match???  HUNH?  Can’t explain that, can you??!?!?

  • frickshun

    It’s totes cuz her mom will embarass her w/the story of time that baby panda sneezed & Ronda wiped it’s nose on her gi sleeve.

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