He said that Africa is hot, the Rock is a really nice guy, and the UFC CAN GO FUCK ITSELF! Okay maybe that wasn’t Randy Couture I was talking to. Maybe I wasn’t talking to anyone. In fact, maybe I’ve been in my cellar the past few days drinking peyote and hallucinating. That would certainly explain why this site has gone downhill the past few days, huh?
Let me just say that things have not been going very smooth over in Fightlinker Land lately. At least I’m not alone. To put things lightly, things have not been going smoothly for the UFC either. I’ve run out of creative ways to mock the UFC 78 main event, even the undercard is unraveling, HBO told them to go suck an egg, Fedor was snapped up by a mystery corporation, and now this: Randy Couture just quit the fucking UFC.
This is really amazing to me … how the fuck did Randy Couture quit? How was it even possible for him to quit? This is the UFC we’re talking about here, right? The company that writes contracts so evil and ironclad that black smoke comes out of them forming skulls. I’m flabbergasted that someone over at Zuffa thought it was a good idea to rely on Couture’s good will to stick around once he had the heavyweight belt. Probably one of those soft Fertitta dummies.
Randy’s “I quit” statement (mailed to Dana White and to The Fight Network, how about that?) mentioned the UFC’s inability to sign Fedor as a reason for leaving, plus being “tired of swimming upstream at this stage with the management of the UFC”.
Of course, you know who’s really responsible, right? Yeah. That fucking Yoko bitch Randy married. And to think I wrote a positive piece about this Judas with a vagina last week. I feel dirty and violated. It’s always like this with Randy – his last wife was such a pain in the ass about the whole MMA thing she convinced him to quit. So I guess this is a step up … this wife hasn’t gotten Randy to retire, she’s just gotten him to quit the UFC.
God fucking damn it. Women are the spawn of evil and nothing good in MMA will ever come from them being involved. It would be nice to imagine that Randy will magically show up on the new M-1 roster to fight Fedor there, but my bet is the Hollywood big bucks have lured Couture away for good. Perhaps his wife isn’t the only one to be blamed. I have to wonder if Randy hasn’t been spending too much time talking to another particular son of a bitch who left his respective organization when his movie career took off.