Somebody Break Up The Couture Marriage, Please!

Aw, isn’t that cute. Kim Couture is going to dress up and play MMA fighter again. This shows you that Xtreme Couture is filled with nothing but spineless yes men. I know it’s hard to disagree with your boss and all, especially since he’d probably dirty box your balls for saying something negative about his wife. But someone PLEASE stop this woman! It’s bad enough she’s reduced Randy to a pussywhipped shell of a man, but now she’s going to kill off women’s MMA possibly in a worst case scenario.

Didn’t this woman have anything in her life before marrying Randy? I don’t even know if she had a job. Just one day she’s sitting next to him at UFC shows and taking control of his career after he left his wife for her. Then she becomes BFF’s with Gina and thinks because she hangs out with MMA fighters all day she needs to be one too. She looks like she’s lived a rough life if she’s really in her mid-30s but looks at least 10 years older. Maybe she’s a recovering addict trying to refill the emptiness she feels that she can’t get fucked up anymore with MMA? I don’t know, but I’ve never seen somebody morph themselves into their spouse entirely like that. You don’t see NBA player baby mama’s joining the WNBA, do you?

Kim does have some supporters (well, most of them solely because they want to bang her) who say “Hey, she’s trying, leave her alone!” To that I say women’s MMA is at a make or break period in 2009 and “trying” doesn’t cut it. Women’s MMA made a lot of headway with Gina Carano fights getting tons of attention last year, this needs to be the year where the deal is sealed that it’s only a matter of time before Zuffa caves in and at least puts women’s fights in the WEC. Beyond men paying attention to Gina because she’s hot, the exciting fights stealing the show was what made people who never thought they’d support women’s combat sports becoming huge supporters of it. We do not need bullshit like “>this to set progress back.

She’s the female equivalent of Kimbo, somebody stupid MMA promoters think the public wants to see (and they don’t) so they’re willing to risk killing their credibility putting her on the show. How can someone get in MMA that fast with no fighting background outside of maybe attending a rape defense class at the YWCA where she got to kick a guy wearing foam padded pants in the balls once? She would have to be the greatest MMA prodigy in history for that to be a good idea. And, well…. “>no.

And forget about her “name value”. MMA superfandom is such an insular world sometimes we forget we’re the minority of MMA viewers. Of course WE know who she is, because we were obsessed with the “Free Randy” saga to learn who she is (sometimes referred to as Yoko Couture.) But the average UFC viewer that Strikeforce is hoping to sway to their side doesn’t know or care who Randy Couture ejaculates inside of. They don’t want to pay to see Dolphinhead fight either. Who cares if she gets them an extra Sherdog article, the harm she could do them with another bad fight is far worse than any good her name could possibly bring. And mark my words she will never sell a single ticket or pay per view her entire career. Without the buyer having the last names of “Couture” or “Holderman”, that is.

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