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Stem cells cure Dana White’s Menieres disease, are officially better than Jesus

Things weren’t looking good for Dana White following an operation for his Meniere’s Disease that didn’t help out at all. But fortunately for all the people who’d have to interact with a cranky and perpetually vertigo’d out Dana, it sounds like a second operation in Germany has taken care of business.

“Well, A-Rod from the Yankees, hit me up and told me that when he was hurt Kobe [Bryant] called him and they both went to Germany and did this stem cell stuff. Right. So he says ‘listen bro, I don’t know if this is going to help you, but I’ll tell you what it’s worth a shot.’ Well, long story short, we had the fight out in Sweden. I went to Germany. I got the stem cells. Dude, I am 100 percent cured.

“I am 100 percent a new guy, man. I’m working out again. I’m doing all the things that I used to do. I’m traveling. My life is back,” White said. “All they do is they go in there, they take your blood, they incubate it, they spin it and add stuff to it. I don’t know what the hell they do, I’m no scientist. I’m a million bucks now, man. I couldn’t feel better.”

Do you hear that??? RICH PEOPLE CAN JUST GO TO GERMANY AND ‘GET THE STEM CELLS.’ You don’t even have to really explain what was done with them. Yeah, just slap that shit in there and see what happens. It’s worth a shot!

  • Higgz

    That must mean that Dana’s prohibition period is over. Someone better remind Scott Levesque not to make any “Drunk Dana” comments again!

  • agentsmith

    But they have to be harvested from the eyeballs of live baby puppies! Think of the puppies!!

  • Reverend Clint

    my dads getting stem cell treatment for his cancer

  • kvelertak

    Maybe he’ll be 20 percent less grumpy now.

  • Letibleu

    My mom is getting stem cell treatment for her bones. She is on vacation right now so I am holding the stem cell injections in my fridge as we speak.

  • noiseless

    i smoke da stems

  • frickshun

    Lawl’d @ the last bit, Ryan. Maybe you funny is back?