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Steroids rock!

With stories like this floating around, I honestly don’t know why EVERYONE isn’t on steroids. They sound freaking awesome:

Three days into the cycle, my nipples began to itch: onset of Gynomastia. Dump enough testosterone into your body and your system counters by upping its oestrogen output, which leads to a build-up of breast tissue. After long-term use, it can get so bad that some users require surgical breast reductions. I woke up on the morning of day four and nearly had a heart attack at the sight of myself in the mirror. My nipples were the size of milk bottle tops, stretched smooth as the skin of a balloon. The skin had formed into swollen pouches that looked like the rubberised nipples on a baby’s bottle. I appeared to have breasts. Pendulous, malformed breasts.

If the above teaser doesn’t have you ordering some shit online, I’m sure the below excerpt will have you hooked:

Basically, you pump so much testosterone into your system that you rob your gonads of purpose, they lie dormant for the duration of your steroid cycle. And while I knew this would happen, the physical sensation was beyond horrible. I felt this rude clenching inside my scrotum, like a pair of tiny hands had grasped the spermatic cords and tightened into fists. It happened that fast – like a door slammed shut. ‘No more testosterone!’ my gonads cried. ‘Closed for business!’ I sat up, gasping, clutching my testicles to make sure they were still there. In a few days time they had shrunk to half their normal size: plump ripe grapes.

These are just two early quotes from one man’s adventures with steroids. While your experiences may vary, I’m sure some of them will line up with this guy’s story. Happy ‘roiding!

  • Omomatta

    Come on. Have any stories about women’s clits growing into wangs. It happens. I did a paper to the subject in high school. Nasty nasty shit. I’m sure Sherks nuts were tiny anyways.

  • clint notestine

    No that would be his penis that was small to begin with so he used roids to overcompensate.

  • tony@rbd

    “swollen pouches that looked like the rubberised nipples on a baby’s bottle” what is not to want?

  • DannyP72

    With all the horrible side effects of steroids, you gotta admire their balls.

    Oh wait …

  • pillow

    There is a right way and a wrong way to take them.. there are a number of estrogen blockers and ways to enhance or hormones one is losing out on in order to minimize the side effects.

    Most of the professional athletes have access to the proper blood tests which will tell them what other Post Cycle therapy and support pills to take. There’s probably one guy everyone uses who can keep them ahead of the testing curve and their balls big and their breasts underdeveloped.

    This guy may or may not be me

  • Carcass

    Good article, thanks for posting.

  • crs

    I did 2 cycles of steroids in late 2006 through mid 2007 and had no breast or ballsack problems. The worst thing was just the roidrage. I don’t have the desire to use them again, I didn’t feel health wise they were worth the risk for gains you start losing shortly after your cycle. Plus I was a total asshole the entire time. I don’t want to be like that douchebag Sean Sherk.

  • clint notestine

    All depends on what kind of roids you take too.

  • pillow

    yup and dosage.

    Personally I just grind up gerbil testicles and inject them

  • Higgz

    So, Sherk is writing his memoirs already, eh?

  • nephildevil

    yeah if you lose everything after the cycle, then wtf is it good for anyway?

  • crs

    You don’t lose all of the gains, but enough that it’s not worth dropping dead of a sudden heart attack in your 40s over.

  • nephildevil

    i suppose most of them do it to win, in the hope they dont get tested