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Super MMA Vegi-Squad

Eddie Munster Dave Meltzer has an article all about vegetarianism, the latest health craze sweeping MMA. And as obnoxious as vegetarians can be about not eating hotdogs made of horse anus and cow snout, I’d say it’s a better trend than dehydrating yourself to the point where your brain’s veins start fusing together. Take a lesson from Thiago Alves, Kenny Florian.

Anyways, Dave goes over a partial list of vegi-fighters, from Jon Fitch to Jake Shields to the Diaz brothers. Most of them do it for health and performance reasons, but then there’s full on vegan Mac Danzig who does it as a moral thing:

Danzig ponders about peoople with pets who know of the often inhumane conditions animals raised for food are subjected to.

“I don’t understand how anyone can have an animal in their life and know what is going on and contribute to it,” Danzig said. “You don’t need any kind of animal products to be an athlete in this day and age.”

Danzig came upon the vegetarian diet differently from Fitch and the Diaz brothers, who did it for their sport. He cites being on a farm at 13 and seeing a truck taking pigs to slaughter, making eye contact with a pig on the way to its death, and the moment having a profound effect on him.

It’s too bad that one of the smartest animals out there is also one of the most delicious. And we are most definitely cocksuckers when it comes to how we treat our food while it’s still alive and capable of feeling emotions like pain, and oh I don’t know SHEER FUCKING TERROR. I assume that’s what a pig feels when it’s buried alive in mass graves along with several million of it’s piggy pals.

You know how we look back on past generations and say “Oh man, how could you be such raging dildos over the treatment of women / black people / gays / etc?” I’m sure in another 100 years our great grandchildren will look back on videos of us stuffing our fat faces with flesh and go wow, that’s fucked up. Hopefully they’ll also have taken care of that whole third world issue too, because before we start getting too uppity about people eating meat we might wanna make sure they’re not starving to death and eating dirt a scant 700 miles from Miami Beach.

  • subo

    CAFO’s are fucked up and greenhouse gases and runoff and grain usage and hoof and mouth and fat-ass Americans and obesity and diabetes and cancer and…


    Sorry.  Pigs are delicious.

  • Take It Easy

    meat isnt even that great

  • matthewpolly

    Our great grandchildren will only feel that way if Tyson engineers can come up with goop that tastes better than bacon. The same way America only cared about slavery after the cotton gin, women’s suffrage after Irish nannies, and gay people after the butt-plug.

    And, btw, when can we also worry about vegetable rights? Insect rights? The Jainists extended their empathy to all living creatures. Of course, they starved to death, but at least they were consistent. Personally, I think Danzig is a wussy. Loves Wilbur, but scorns kelp?

    As an aside, I trained in the same gym with him for six months and he is one angry, unpleasant dude to be around–even the other pros joked about what a dick he was. He might be nicer to his fellow man if he indulged in the occasional pork chop. It is always the Puritans who are ready to light the pyre.

  • Take It Easy

    shut up you stupid manchild i pity anyone who actually read your retarded drivel past the first sentence because theyre obviously dumber for it

  • Boog

    Vegans are morons who can’t comprehend one simple fact:


    That’s life. Life is a lion mauling the jugular of an antelope. Life is an eagle sinking its talons into a fish.

    Life isn’t all sunshine and lollipops.

    We have evolved to be able to eat meat. It’s not “immoral” just because we’re more efficient at it than every other species on earth.

    So by all means, be vegetarian if you think it makes you healthier. But spare me the hippy moralizing BULLSHIT.

  • Boog

    stfu Take It Easy, Polly is spittin’ nothing but troof and fiyah!

  • Take It Easy

    youre dumber than he is anyone who posts that sort of naturalistic nonsense cant possibly have even half a brain

  • Márcio

    It’s funny how any topic about vegetarianism quickly devolves into a bunch of meat eating assholes throwing a hissy fit and calling people morons and wussies based only on what they choose to eat. Very mature.

  • Boog

    wait, what? PETA compares eating meat to the Holocaust, and *I’m* the asshole?

  • matthewpolly

    I’m guessing “Take It Easy” is an ironic moniker. As an aside, vegetarianism isn’t incompatible with punctuation.

  • Márcio

    PETA became irrelevant more than 10 years ago when people found out that they euthanized thousands of animals. They are fucking media whores and their only purpose is to piss people off. That acomplishes nothing. They are not representantive of anyone but themselves.

  • Boog

    and Mac Danzig.

  • matthewpolly

    If vegetarians are no longer fair game for juvenile humor, really who is left?

  • Take It Easy

    youre not funny or interesting

  • Boog

    “If vegetarians are no longer fair game for juvenile humor, really who is left?”

    The Dutch?

  • glassjawsh

    take it easy making this otherwise impossibly boring thread almost palatable

    I was a vegetarian for about 2 years and didn’t feel any better or worse because of it. how about instead of comparing eating a steak every once in a while to genocide (idiotic) we all go on a crusade to stop mcdonalds and wendy’s and taco bell and burger king and frito lays and reality television and everything else that contributes to making fat titted american slobs such fat titted american slobs

  • matthewpolly

    I’m kinda funny [sniff]

  • iamphoenix

    matthewpolly i want to have your babies.

    this reminds me when i went to this awesome brazilian restaurant Bossa Nova Grill last night…it’s all you can eat, the dude comes by serving you 7 different types of meat nonstop and you’re just shoving your face in full of sausage, chicken, top sirloin and shit it was the best meats i’ve had in korea.

    then i got back to my room and shit 7 meats.

  • fishead

    I’ve been vegetarian for 22 years now, and as a vegetarian… I feel the need to interject. It’s a personal choice. I’ve known people that were hardcore PETA supporters – and are now full-blown meat eaters. Preachy vegetarians are more annoying to me than Jehovah’s Witnesses (although I hope we never get to the day when PETA goes door to door to berate the common man about what’s in their fridge)…

    btw… vegetarians are always fair game for humor… but we get back at you by getting our protein from eating a whole lot of legumes. You think meat farts are bad – they ain’t got nothing on the aromas that can be spontaneously ejected from the anus of someone who’s coming off a three-day bean binge.

  • matthewpolly

    Amen, fishead. Each to his own. I look forward to one day suffering your legume farts.

  • Letibleu

    I want to mention something about that Haitian article about eating dirt cookies to help with hunger pains and acid reflux of an empty stomach. That article was written 2 years before the 2010 earthquakes flattened what little they had left. It is BAD over there.

    I have a handful of friends down there right now helping out and I have heard back that it is not good times. STOP COMPLAINING you bunch of thankless spoiled brats.

    Here is a picture sent to me taken LAST WEEK.

  • Rodriguez

    I’ve been a non-meat eater for over a year now and I’ve never felt better in my life. I did it for the physical benefits, not moral reasons. I’ll kick a cow square in the face, I don’t give a fuck about aminal rights.

  • iamphoenix

    in that picture, i see a couple good spots for a Del Taco.

  • FiveBoltMain

    You incensitive asshole!!!



  • G Funk

    That earthquake is the best thing to happen to that country! The Immigration dept. has lifted the strict rules against hatians immigrating to the US legally (the influx of hatians is quite noticible since the quake round here). And more money has been pumped into that country than all the money they’ve ever seen, ever! Yes there are food ration lines that stretch for miles and mass people living in tents. However, they’re now eating actual food not dirt, have some chitty health care(of which they’ve never had) and have tons of UN security thats keeping chit in control. Remember just a year and a half ago that country was the most violent in the West!

    I eat meat and love it! Who doesn’t? But we can raise our food in good conditions and give the animals a humane departure. Mass live burials are fucked up and just because you love meat doesn’t mean thats OK. WTF is wrong with you when you can see that and be like, “thats cool cause they taste good.” Reversing roles, have you ever seen what they do to dogs and cats for food? No animal deserves that kind of life, even if its sole purpose is to feed humans. I would rather live a free life and die by a lion mauling my jugular than to live in such crowded conditions that I couldn’t move for my whole life, be transported in cages meant to hold a few animals packed with twenty and be skinned alive, drowned or be pushed into pits of which the fall broke bones and be smothered by the weight of others and then buried alive. If you can’t put yourself in that position and feel that no animal should be treated that way than I feel sorry for your mother!

  • G Funk

    “As an aside, vegetarianism isn’t incompatible with punctuation.” <— Pure douche, eventhough take it easy is the asshole of all cocks.

  • Remco Pardoel

    “And we are most definitely cocksuckers when it comes to how we treat our food while it’s still alive and capable of feeling emotions like pain, ”

    Pain is an emotion?

  • guayan_soul

    matthewpolly is a saint! Nah, really, funny stuff… love American Shaolin.

  • Letibleu

    pain is not an emotion.

  • frickshun

    This totally got weird. 1st–>that mud cookie story is insane. I can’t believe how bad things can be in the world.

    2nd–>Take It Easy is all over the fucking place. I dig the guy but he’s so god damned unpredictable.

    3rd–>I’m trying to reduce my meat consumption for health AND moral reasons. Unfortunately my wife & children have no such desire. That makes it hard for me when I eat dinner w/them every night. So I squeeze in some meatless breakfast/lunches & try to reduce consumption overall.

    After seeing so many documentaries about how we get our foods, it’s gotta make people sick to their stomachs.

  • Reverend Clint

    i stopped eating land animals but still eat fish, ate some chicken the other day though.

  • scissors61

    i used to work with a vegan so hardcore he thought PETA were sellouts…jesus. as for vegetarianism, whatever floats your boat. i’m against factory farming as it’s currently done more for environmental reasons than animal rights reasons, but at the end of the day humans are the apex predator on this planet and we can kill/eat whatever the fuck we want. including each other, if it comes to that. plain and simple. 

  • iamphoenix

    if i dumped a bunch of stupid cows into the ocean and dragged them back out with hooks onto my boat, would you enjoy a fine steak with me clint?

  • frickshun

    Phoenix eats manatees (aka sea cows).

  • agentsmith

    Wow, I guess I had the totally wrong idea when phoenix told me he loves fishing for brown trout.

  • iamphoenix

    apology accepted, agents mith.

  • CAP

  • glassjawsh

    ^ fucking tremendous

  • frickshun

    Nice Capitan.

  • Reverend Clint

    i do it so i will live longer than 45.

  • glassjawsh

    ^ or you could just get off your fat ass and go for a jog 3 times a week

  • iamphoenix

    or, work out 5 times a week like me…run 6 miles 3 times a week, ruck march up fucking hills with 40 pounds on your back and be cool like me. yeah i said it.

  • frickshun

    ^^Yeah but if you don’t do all that, you’ll get beat w/socks full of soap.

  • G Funk

    Penis just does the chit cause he;s in da Armiez and has too. He’ll be a sad blob like the rest of the cartoonist once he come back to reality…

  • iamphoenix

    everyone has too, but it’s how much effort you put into it. there’s a lot of fucking fatfucks and lazy motherfuckers who rather make the next guy do all the work.