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Tales of Bas Rutten

You know about those old ” target=”_blank”>Bas Rutten self defense tapes, right? The ones where Bas is in a bar setting up situations where a number of theoretical people approach Bas and say strange things like “Hey buddy I’m going to punch your wife in the face”, followed of course with Bas smearing hot sauce in their eyes, smashing them in the mouth with an ashtray and stabbing them in the neck with a receipt holder spike. Yeah those.

If you doubted that this is the way Bas’ life actually used to unfold – which you shouldn’t, he’s a verified psycho – don’t just rely on his say so. Here’s his wife talking to MMA Madness about some of the ‘funny’ situations Bas has been in. They pretty much mirror the insanity of Bas’ tapes:

MM: Bas has told me a number of hilarious stories about different fighters or sticky situations he has been in. Do you have some Bas family stories that stick out, that you could share with us?

KR: I do have so many stories- but out of respect for my girls cannot really share them with you. But I can tell you one sticky story from a long time ago in Holland. We were in a bar and some drunk idiot next to me said, “See that Barstool there? I am going to get it and slam it on your head. So Bas was standing next to me on the other side and I said, “The guy next to me said he is going to get that barstool and slam it on my head.” Immediately this idiot lifted the barstool above his head and Bas did his thing of course, 30 seconds later the guy is on the ground, what happened, you’ve have to ask Bas. I don’t want to describe those 30 seconds but the guys teeth were on the ground. The next day I had my driving lesson and my instructor apologized for being late and told me about how tired he was because of his crazy night that he spend in the hospital with his crazy son who got into another fight but this time really had seen some flashing lights because of a dude who had beat him up good this time.  I put one and one together and didn’t say anything.

Years later we were celebrating “New Years” in the same bar and a person approached Bas, he asked Bas if he remembered him, Bas said no. The guy said, “I am the guy you beat up two years ago”. Bas said that the guy he beat up was a huge muscle guy that didn’t look like him, but then he said it was him and that he had a ‘roid problem at the time, so he apologized. They sat down together, drank some beers and had a good time, it was funny to watch. He said he got new teeth and stayed away from steroids from then on.

Wow. That goes from being a horrific story about a guy getting beaten to a heart warming holiday tale, doesn’t it? Bas Rutten: changing people’s lives for the better … by beating the shit out of them.

(image via Seanbaby’s excellent review of Bas Rutten and several other psychopaths’ defense instructionals over at Cracked)