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The big huge shocking TUF surprise thing

So if you haven’t watched the show yet and don’t want to be spoiled, read no further. Seriously, stop now. I mean … what the fuck? You don’t want to find out what’s happening yet you come to an MMA news site? Okay, pseudo-news. But we still talk results once in a while, you know. So stop reading now! Now! Now! Okay, you’ve been warned.

The big TUF surprise wasn’t really that much of a surprise … while 0% of the universe predicted Dana White’s big announcement, I think we all pretty much knew as soon as we saw the teaser who was getting thrown off. Lo and behold, dumbass Jesse “Pee Pants” Taylor kicked out a limo window and ‘terrorized’ a bunch of women inside one of the Fertittas casinos. I’m still interested in knowing what ‘terrorized’ means in this case. For me, I terrorize women with my gigantic cock. It’s like Cloverfield all over again … people running and screaming and in the end everyone dies. Oops, looks like I spoiled that too. But if you didn’t want to know about my monster dick, then why did you come to my penis blog and MMA pseudo-news site?

Anyways, my boy Amir took out CB Dollaway with a surprise armbar halfway through the third round. I had pretty much given up on Amir because he kept on walking into CB’s takedowns and CB seemed happy to ride the rounds out on top. I dunno if I’d call the fight ‘really good’, but I was invested because I like Amir and fucking despise CB, so it got my heart rate up.

With Jesse out, they brought back CB and Tim Credeur to fight for their way into the finals. I tried to like Tim but he’s just kinda not very good at all. For a guy that talks about being a warrior obsessively he’s got the fighting spirit of a jittery squirril in an open field. He passed up about 50 good opportunities to turn the fight around and passed on em all. Dude needs to drink an extra large glass of killer instinct or something.

So now it’s Amir vs CB 2 for the finale, and I’ll be hoping to see that third-person talking moron CB lose again. If Amir has been training hard and not fucking around, I think he’ll come in twice as good as he was on the show. So with that, let’s roll on to the finals: WAR AMIR!

  • garth

    they ass-fucked jesse out of the show because he’s a lay and pray-er, and they thought CB was a shoe-in. unfortunately they didn’t realize what a crap gas tank dollaway has.
    hopefully amir learns a few things before the finale.

  • Ross

    CB has a face you just want to hit. Hopefully Amir’s being working on his takedown defense for the last few months.

    I can’t see much of a future for anyone else on the show. Only seven of the 16 in the house made the finale and most of them will have bombed out by the end of the year. The weakest TUF class yet.

  • Teddy Da Russian

    CB = hate the face, but Amir needs to learn to sprawl to beat this chump – Tim blows and is old, also Amir shaved the power mullet giving him much less of a chance against the chin

  • Tertio

    I dont like CB either. But i think “the blanket 2″ will beat Amir. Sadly.

  • Reverend Clint

    Is Amir the first Middle Eastern UFC fighter?

  • fightlinker

    Did Danny Abbadi count?

  • cyph

    Amir’s got a great chin and a never say die attitude. You can’t teach that shit in the gym. For an 0-0 guy to run through 4 great talented young fighters like that, I think he’s going to be star. After last night’s performance, I’m an instant fan.

  • garth

    armenians are pretty close aren’t they? just north of iran, east of turkey. what’s amir’s actual ethnic background? hmm. his wiki

    and UFC profile page have the same info. lame.

  • Jackie Chiles

    I hope Amir wins, but I can also see CB dragging out a gritty decision win like what was about to happen in their first fight.

  • Lifer

    I was reading CB’s blog on the junkie and I enjoyed his writing style. Maybe it was because of his insults towards Jeremy Jitsu that made me like him.. I’m not sure. He apologized for his megalomaniacal third person speaking and I appreciated that.

    After seeing him fight some of the higher quality competition though.. there are a few things you can’t ignore about the guy’s skills.

    He needs to :

    1) focus on circling away from the dominant hand of his opponent instead of running straight backwards into the fence over and over and over
    2) cover his ribs
    3) stop lowering his chin, closing his eyes, and winging wild punches in the pocket
    4) practice his jits game from the top

    With that said, I did enjoy his takedowns. Not sure if it was his opponents lack of defense or if he was just making it look that effortless. He has a great single-leg and properly spins his opponent after securing the leg unlike the majority who just barrel forward and end up playing clinch against the fence after failing the takedown. Also, I enjoyed his cross-the-face elbow style but his actual punches need to be more precise on the ground.. it looks too random.

    On a side note about JT Money of the cock and balls neck, I’m preeeeeeeetty sure terrorize is a euphemism for sexually assault.

  • ACanadianPotHead

    Fuck yeah, go Amir. I had that bad ass pegged early, and everyone said “fuck you Fallon, hes gonna get wiped”. Of course I told them to blow me, and now whos laughing bitches??? CB is a Mcnut with no gas tank. I hope Amir catches him with one of those sweet “switch kicks”, and rolls that preppy nugget.

  • Steve

    “Is Amir the first Middle Eastern UFC fighter?”

    Moti Horenstein – UFC 10 & 14

  • Knuckles

    ‘not in my town’ ‘I know everything that goes on…’ yeah okay Dana “Don” White.

    I hope Pee Pants receives a rubber hose beat down by his parents.

  • DannyP72

    I thought Gary Shaw had the title of sleazy mob mma promoter in the bag but Dana comes in big with the ‘I run this town’ speech

  • Aryan

    “what’s amir’s actual ethnic background?”
    I think he’s persian..