(the Hex, as envisioned by Jay Larkin’s 13 year old son. See the full image here. It’s lame-tastic!)
Sometimes social etiquette prevents you from calling things the way they are. I once had a girlfriend who was dumber than a bag of rocks. She was pretty capable with her maths and such but she’d often do things that made me wonder if the hampster powering her brain had fallen off it’s wheel or died. Of course, you’re not allowed to talk about how dumb the girl you’re dating is … people consider that rude and sexist, no matter how true it might be in any specific case.
Such is life even in the MMA news scene … people given access are expected to play by similar rules of social etiquette when ‘reporting’ on the doings of promotions. So when the IFL announced during a conference call today that their big promotion saving change was the creation of a new six sided ring called “The Hex”, no one followed up with “What, are you fucking kidding me? Because that’s fucking stupid.”
Yes, just like that former girlfriend, the guys running the IFL must have forgotten to pay the brain bill because this has to be the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard. It just goes to show you that they have no idea what the fuck they’re doing, and what’s worse: they don’t know how to hide the fact anymore that they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing.
Now I don’t really have anything against 6 sided rings, but when half the population was betting today’s conference call was to announce the IFL shutting down, you don’t want to haul out a stupid gimmick and go “TADA!” That’s like having cancer but making a big deal about saving a bunch on car insurance through Geico.
Anyways, I’m gonna try and cut the IFL guys a bit of slack because they seem to be lost somewhere in the five stages of grief over the realization the IFL is nearly dead:
- Denial (this isn’t happening to me!)
- Anger (why is this happening to me?)
- Bargaining (I promise I’ll be a better person if…)
- Depression (I don’t care anymore)
- Acceptance (I’m ready for whatever comes)
I’m not sure if Jay Larkin’s recent comments about MMA sucking were ‘Anger’ or ‘Depression’ … I’m going to guess anger since this new ring thing reeks of ‘Bargaining’ … “We promise you with this new ring everything will be better”. Of course, you can’t bargain with the big bad grim reaper of MMA promotions. He takes no prisoners, and the IFL’s time is very nearly up.