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The MMA match we’ve all been waiting for

In what I think may be the most important development in the history of mixed martial arts, BIG DADDY DIESEL has challenged THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR to a straight up no fakesies MMA fight. It all started when Warrior called Diesel a “d*ckhead who thrives on stealing the limelight from young guys” on twitter. Oh no he dinnit! Diesel then responded:

“Never realized I had a problem with Jim (Warrior). Seemed to get along fine in Scottsdale. Come on my clown, turn that frown upside down. @UltimateWarrior: A true warrior never turns down a challenge. Put up 100K. I’ll do the same. 3 rounds. MMA rules. Winner take all. I’m talking shoot, not sports entertainment. Jim Hellwig needs to put up or shut the f*ck up. Day before Mania in Miami area. Warrior will have to pass all HIV and HEP A, B and C tests. I’ll do the same. I’m tired of this guy talking sh*t about the boys and me. When they stop it or you tap, I’ll quit, or you can apologize like the c*nt you are. @UltimateWarrior You should watch your mouth, you know you’re a bitch. You want nothing to do with me. You ran out of your gym to avoid me. @UltimateWarrior You want to go p*ssy name the place and time. If not shut your d*ck sucker and forget my name. Bitch make me 100K richer. I knew i would get no response because i know Jim Hellwig. In the future when my name comes up pass Jim, p*ss.”

I think we’re all pretty excited for this to happen, but there’s just too many roadblocks in the way. Having to pass HIV and Hep A / B / C tests? That’s a pretty high standard for most wrestlers to be held to. If Diesel is going to be unreasonable like this, what’s the point of even issuing the challenge? Other than to remind everyone about how classy pro wrestling is, of course.

  • Symbul

    Who? What?

  • CAP

  • thingvolds

    isn’t big daddy diesel the guy who basically drank himself retarded? i thought i saw some clip of him where he looked to just about have alzheimers. unless it’s a new character he’s playing, i don’t think he’s up for fighting anyone.

  • agentsmith
  • Fizzy

    This could be even more riveting a matchup Than Tank Abbott vs Scott Ferrozzo II: the humpening.

  • iamphoenix

    i don’t know.

  • kwagnuth

    Man I wouldn’t want to have to pick a winner on that one. I suppose the Ultimate Warrior cuz he has the word ultimate in his name like Ultimate fighter but Diesel has daddy in his name so he might just put the warrior over his knee and spank him. Man this is a tough one.

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    Holy shit, Smith.

  • Royal

    Fertig doesn’t have the gas tank and Nash doesn’t have the legs.

    It’ll look like two old pitbulls going at it on roller skates.

  • agentsmith

    Holy shit, Smith.

    Now check THIS out.

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    I haven’t even watched it yet, but Sheik is always good for some coke-fueled nonsense.


    THEN fuck you inna ass!!

    Yep, there we go.