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The strange tale of Batista’s opponent

(featuring Batista versus Who The Fuck Cares!)

Former WWE superstar Batista’s MMA debut is just a week away but there’s a few small snags that have to be worked through. Like who he’s going to fight:

Bautista’s original opponent was Rashid Evans, whose main claim to fame is that his name would be easily confused with one of the biggest stars in the sport. He was given the lottery ticket of being someone who had never had a pro fight, but was going to get to headline a pay-per-view. The downside is that Evans was incarcerated, but according to trainer Phil Dunlap of Advanced Fighting Systems in Mahwah, N.J., they were able to get him released based on the fact he was given this opportunity.

According to Dunlap, Evans violated the terms of his probation, when caught driving without his license, and then panicked when police tried to pull him over. He’s back in jail and won’t be out until after the fight.

The golden ticket was then passed to Bruno McKee, a super heavyweight at his gym that also would have been making his pro debut after a few amateur fights. But days ago McKee, a part-time fighter compared with Tank Abbott, pulled out, from a combination of nerves and feeling he wasn’t going to have enough training time to get ready, according to sources.

Pat Sullivan, who is promoting the show for Classic Entertainment & Sports, Inc., said that there was a new opponent, but when asked his name, said he had to get off the phone and subsequent phone calls have not been returned.

Will Batista pull a Jon Jones and refuse to fight on Saturday? Maybe if the promoters can’t locate a can and actually have to start offering up guys with actual experience. But I’m sure they will eventually find one of those oh so rare guys both unprofessional enough to have no chance of winning but professional enough to avoid incarceration and actually show up on fight night.

  • agentsmith

    Find whatever BBQ that Kimbo’s hanging at and hand him a big stack of Benjamins. Problem solved.

  • Letibleu

    They said the solution in the article. Tank Abbott.

  • Reverend Clint

    heres an idea… nobody wants to watch an old as fuck wrestler get in a cage

  • randlemansvertical

    I definitely want to see this happen Clint. Call up Ken Shamrock or Tank

  • randlemansvertical

    Giant Silva vs Batista would shatter ppv records but instead Dana is trying to sell Sonnen vs Silva. He needs to get his shit together

  • randlemansvertical

    *sonnen vs jones

  • agentsmith

    Kimbo or Bobby Lashley.

  • drunkenjunk

    and nobody called bob sapp?

  • Letibleu

    ^^^ there ya go

  • unclefesterdanawhite

    I don’t know enough about Batista’s skillset and abilities to say whether Tank Abbott, Bob Sapp, Kimbo. Ken Shamrock or Bobby Lashley are opponent that Batista can soundly beat. Those are not safe fights if the promotion plans on building up Batista. LOL @ Giant Silva suggestion. Is he still around? :D

  • theinsaneoneJustinMcCully

    Remember when Rashid Evans hit Chuck Liddell so freaking hard?
    Who knew he was a criminal though?

    Tank Abbott can do this

  • Voice of Reason

    Unrelated but i gotta say the Machida Rashad KO is one of the best of all time! (kanye voice)

    same for Rashsad Liddell KO actually.

  • glassjawsh

    wonder if Gary goodridge’s phone ran? if it did he probably answered his alarm clock.