Tito attends USO event after USO allows his whore girlfriend to come

Before we get started, I just want to say I only refered to Jenna Jameson as a whore for shock value. While on a technical level she ‘fits the bill’, I’m all right with her. It’s the hip thing to hate on Jenna Jameson, and I’m just not down with that. Just because she knows her way around a cock doesn’t mean she wouldn’t whup all of your asses in chess, Risk, Twister, or whatever game of skill you happen to use to measure intellect.

Anyways, back when the UFC did it’s Miramar Fight Night event, they invited Tito Ortiz to a big pre-event bash on base. Then they cancelled the invitation when they heard he wanted to bring Jenna Jameson with him. More specifically, Tito said he was bringing her, and some asshole commander said no. Tito then said fuck you guys, if I can’t bring my trophy pornstar I ain’t coming. No word on if this is the same asshole commander who also said no to other sexy things Marines enjoy like armored humvees and proper bulletproof vests.

Thank God the USO doesn’t have the same standards as the Marines. I heard their last World Gala had some chick from Thailand who does things with a pingpong ball you’ll never forget. This year they had to settle for Tito, Jenna, and that foreign guy from That 70′s show.

I gotta hand it to them though. Considering all the flag waving soldier supporting rhetoric everyone spews out nowadays, Tito and Jenna actually go out and get the shit done. What the fuck have you done other than put an American flag bumper sticker on your car? Or for our poor ethnic readers, enlisted half your family and lost two siblings over the course of the Surge. You might even be reading this shit in Iraq right now. According to Google Analytics, someone from over there is. And I’m hoping it’s not THE TERRORISTS.

**UPDATE** I changed ‘poor black readers’ to ‘poor ethnic readers’ … the trend amongst army recruiters now has shifted to focus largely upon hispanics, so I thought I would adjust my comment accordingly. And for those who think I’m racist for saying that, what’s worse: pretending the army isn’t targeting poor ethnic minorities or pointing that fact out?

  • Xavier

    Fuck this, blog about Matt Hughes Bible MMA training study.

    And she is a whore. Whore = getting paid for sex. It’s not an insult when it’s actually the profession. Now if you called her a slut, that’d be an insult. After all, they don’t get paid.

  • http://flyingguardpass.blogspot.com/ garth

    Good fucking god Tito’s head is enormous. I think I saw a tiny Sputnik beep-beeping around it. Wow!

  • http://flyingguardpass.blogspot.com/ garth

    Xavier: sluts do too get paid. In chlamydia and broken dreams.
    chlamydia and broken dreams.

  • http://flyingguardpass.blogspot.com/ garth

    HEY! Calling a commander an asshole is THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO, EVER! Because if you call one dude doing one job in a huge organization a name, you’re obviously trying to undermine the huge organization and let Saddam…uh…Ahmedinejad….explode a giant bomb in the nursery of every hospital in America. Why do you love terrorists and give them gentle hugs and delicious macaroons?

  • http://tanglebones.com/ Jemaleddin

    I heard that Jenna can support 5 troops at a time. 6 if they limber up first.

  • Jack

    “our poor black readers”

    are you serious?

  • ABM!2!

    You try too hard to be funny. It’s quite sad.

  • ABM!2!

    “You try too hard to be funny. It’s quite sad.”
    I’m addressing the loser who runs this site. Seriously, why do you have to go for lame stories that are chock-full of lame jokes.

  • http://www.fightlinker.com fightlinker

    Yep. Although i’m considering changing it to ‘poor ethnic readers’, because the army has moved on to hispanics now (not that they’ve stopped targeting the black population). If the reality of the situation is offensive to you, then I’m sorry that the real world is fucking racist. I don’t support the system that targets minority areas in poverty stricken districts. I just point out that’s what’s going on.

  • Ted Dibiase

    why would sensative pussies be here reading your blogs? lmao

    especially a blog about a pussy that has no sensativity left in it. “tito? are in in there yet? tito? put your head in there so i can feel something!”

  • Matt

    Look assholes, get your fucking sand out of your vaginia. Fuck the military has been taking poor minorities for years. Where else can you earn a decent buck without a college education or any real skills.

  • http://MMAcritique.blogspot.com Thomas

    Fightlinker is correct about minority areas. Those fuckers camp out in all the highschools and junior colleges.

  • http://flyingguardpass.blogspot.com garth

    not just minority citizens, either. minority non-citizen recent immigrants are off dying in droves for your fat white (or just wealthy enough) ass. so you see someone say the army targets the poor and brown and you act like it’s surprising? fuck you, you fucking prick.
    our war machine, and basically our whole economy, runs on two things: poor fucking idiots running here for the “good life”, being exploited and ground down, and crazy-assed schemes cooked up in boardrooms and fucking smoky back rooms (Enron? Global Crossing? etc? etc?).
    I can say that if you honestly think that the system isn’t racist, you’re kind of right. it’s based on class. if the poor fuckers coming over here were white, but identifiable as a poorer class, they’d be the ones picking the fucking tomatoes. but if you think we live in a colorblind society, you’re an idiot.
    i’m exhausted.

  • http://flyingguardpass.blogspot.com garth

    well, that had nothing to do with MMA.

  • http://www.fightlinker.com fightlinker

    One key thing I also want to say that has nothing to do with MMA is don’t think just because it’s the poor minorities fighting this war that they signed up because they’re stupid. The way things work is the poor have very few choices and very few opportunities to move up out of the position they’re in … there’s practically no safety net in America and losing your job or having a kid is a massive blow from which it’s very hard to recover from.

    The Army offers a decent paycheck plus college and university opportunities that would otherwise be unavailable to these people. In short, it’s one of the few programs the government has set up to help these people move up the economic ladder. It’s just kinda bullshit that things are like that :-/

  • kermit.01

    I’m a retired Marine and spent time as a recruiter. To set the record straight everyone is targeted. The issue becomes that people who can afford to have mommy and daddy write a check for college don’t need GI bill assistance. Money for College is a major reason “poor people” in general join the Military. Be them, Black, Hispanic, or White.

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