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Token Suspensions

It’s like sex minus the penetration

Since Ryan probably died last night of autoerotic asphyxia, here is something I stole from myself.

So the 4 fighters involved in the co-main and main event fights at Fight Night 24 have each been suspended for 7 days. I can think of only one reason they only got 7 days… nothing happened. You can’t get injured if no one does anything. Even a submission that sucked gets a suspension. I know some of you guys have a boner for wrestling but these guys need to learn how to finish or damage.

  • Jim Harbaugh Scramble

    Rumble at least tried to finish. He was going for subs and dropping bombs.

    That horseface Phil Davis did jack shit. Fire his ass or at least get him back on unaired prelims.

  • chim55

    speaking of Token, ,……how about this article???

  • Reverend Clint

    but by rumbles own admission he pussed out… then again canadian jesus couldnt finish hardy.

  • Jim Harbaugh Scramble

    Rumble is an exciting fighter normally. Even in this so called shitfest he scored a knockdown and attempt a bunch of subs all while beating a guy that I can’t stand.

    As for Davis all his fights are yawners in my book.

  • Reverend Clint

    yeah its sad he went that way when normally Dan hardy vs Anthony Johnson would have been BALLS instead of just balls

  • Redping

    Dan hardy kinda fell over from that kick, it really looked like he just timed it right and it caught him off balance – I really don’t think it was a matter of the sheer power of johnson knocking hardy onto his ass.

    Rumble pussed out and fought a girly fight, he went for a couple of half assed subs to make it look like he was doing something, and he dropped about 4 half assed punches/elbows that dan hardy didn’t notice. Dan Hardy unfortunately only knows the arm wrestling submissions, if only he knew some leg locks

    Phil Davis fought boringly but what would you prefer? his best strength is his wrestling/ground and pound, and he was fighting a boxer. His striking is about as bad as watching him hump someone anyway. At least he didn’t come in as a brawler, promoting a brawl, and then have a lay down on an englishman for 15 minutes. I guess Koscheck beat the rumble right out of him

  • Blackula Jonez

    If wrestling is so bad why don’t people watch more boxing or kickboxing? Last weekend Yuriorkis Gamboa beast fucked Jorge Solis with a 4th round tko after knocking him down 5 times.

    If you are going to watch mma expect to see some wrestling/grappling/If your going to drive a car expect to pay for gas/If you are dating females expect to deal with some level of insanity…so on and so forth

  • FiveBoltMain

    black is a poet!!

  • Letibleu

    I stopped dating them I only fuck them now. Dealing with the date rape accusations is far less time and energy consuming than a drawn out emotionally draining relationship.


  • Reverend Clint

    I like kickboxing but keep thinking take him down. wrestling is awesome if the fighter uses it for more the laying on the other fighter. taking a guy down and throwing fag slaps wouldnt win a real fight

  • Omomatta

    Taking a guy down and controlling him, period, would win a real fight. Plus or minus “fag” slaps. I hate watching boring lay n pray too, but for the most part it is effective.

  • Smitler

    Where. The. Bleedin’. Anus. Is. A. Low. Blow. Show?
    So many good events and no comment from the cretinous canuckians we all love.

  • Redping

    I know wrestlings a part of the sport, but if you JUST want to watch wrestling, why don’t you go and watch wrestling? I want to watch Mixed Martial Arts, a form of combat where all styles meet and where every fighter has a wide range of skills to use against his opponent. Rumble did not satisfy that criteria.

    I appreciate you could win a real fight by holding onto somebody until they were tired and then running or something. But thats really not what I watch the UFC for, and it’d be a pretty boring fight and hard to brag about with your friends later on that night

  • Reverend Clint

    omo we know you wrestle with men to the “tiny death” but laying on a guy is not what heppens in a real fight. mount yes but every street fight/school fight ive ever seen didnt not involve a guy just smothering another guy.

  • Jarman

    ^yeah, usually, they involved someone getting mount or sidemount and smashing face.

    Rumble did the bullshit safe play when he was never at risk. I love me some wrestlin. I also love muay thai and any other variant of fist-meets-face. Jits is great too. I love MMA for that intersection of all of them. What a grappling system good for when grappler gets punched in the face? How good is a striker if he doesn’t have to face takedowns?

    But i think almost every MMA fan, be he affliction-clad meathead, fact-crazed hardcore, pride fanboy, casual observer, or a chick, will agree that the very best part of MMA is the finish. There’s so many ways it can happen, and even watching a guy go for a finish and fail is more exciting than wrestler crap-boxing or laynpray. Rumble shit the bed on purpose here, and I hope he gets poked in the eye his next fight.

    My case in point: he had Hardy in that head n arm lockup for at least a minute. He just held it for the decision, and then fed Hardy a couple of punches right before the bell, which he’d been watching and waiting for. If he was the kind of fighter he claimed to be prefight, or even the kind of fighter people want to see, he could’ve began dropping those punches the second he had that position, and not stopped till the bell or the ref pulled him off. That little difference in effort would have made all the difference.

    But no, Douchecheck stole his balls, and made him afraid of losing position on the ground. Fuck Rumble. In Hardy, he had an opponent that could’ve supplied a highlight-reel making fight, a FOTN. If he’d done as he said pre-fight, and finished Hardy by KO or GNP TKO, people would be clamoring for Condit vs Rumble. Me included. Now I want him to be Fitch’s comeback opponent, see him get humped to a decision loss. and then poked in the eye post-fight.

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