Behold! The Fightlinker family has once again converged to provide you with our hilariously wrong UFC predictions. Let’s get right into it:
Bj Penn vs Kenny Florian
Ryan: It’s too bad this isn’t a nice guy contest, because Kenny Florian would win hands down. Unfortunately for him, this is combat we’re talking about and BJ Penn is just way better than the rat king of 155 pounders cluttering up the lightweight contender circle. Kenny’s best chance is to wear BJ down. Unfortunately I think BJ is in this to make a very clear statement about his career and it’s going to manifest itself in another Joe Daddy style beating. Kenny is a good fighter, but BJ is one of the all time greats and still unstoppable at 155. BJ Penn by sub in the second round.
Shawn: Kenny Florian. Why? Because generally rape victims are terrible fighters. From my experience with them (and I’ve got a ton) they tend to just sit around depressed all day, which leaves little time to train. B.J. got raped by GSP in his last fight, whereas Kenny is on a six fight tear and has been training like a mad man. Prepared guy beats rape victim every time. BJ Penn.
Jake: I like Kenny. We got to meet him back at UFC 77 in Cincinnati, and he was a cool guy (Ryan actually got him to sign his elbow). Kenny’s also a company man, and unlike Baby Jay (a more fitting name, I can’t find), when Dana says jump, he does summersaults. If he won, it would mean more title defences, which is always a good thing. With that said, he’s got very little chance to beat BJ. They aren’t even in the same league. Perhaps Penn will get hit by a car before the fight and it’ll be enough to slow him down, but otherwise expect this fight to end up with Kenny on the ground covered in blood crying like a little bitch. Sorry man. BJ Penn
Rodriguez: Penn defeats Florian without breaking a sweat. (Coincidentally, that’s just the way he likes it). Hurts me to say it as well. I like Kenny if I forget the Huerta fight while BJ is half a step behind Fedor in the race to see who I can’t stand more. Even that doesn’t make me blind to his talent in the end, though. I’d like to say Kenny could pull off the upset, but I see no possible way he’d do it. Penn is going to rip up on Florian like he’s a nice, tasty burrito after his weekly fifteen minute workout. Penn by TKO, round 1.
Clint: I see BJ coming back and whooping on Kenny, not because Kenny sucks or that i don’t like him cause very much the opposite…. no I see him losing because BJ is just better in every way. I seriously can not see in what field of MMA Kenny is better? But when has being better always guaranteed a win in MMA? BJ Penn.
Anderson Silva vs Forrest Griffin
Ryan: If Forrest keeps this fight on the feet he’s gonna get destroyed in entertaining rock’em sock’em style. If Forrest takes Silva to the ground … I don’t know what’s gonna happen. Everyone says if Anderson has a weakness, it’s on the ground. I’ll agree that’s probably where the chink in his armor resides but whether Forrest has the sub skills to defeat him down there is another question. Since Forrest is a bigger guy, I could see him using his weight to hold Silva down and try to stay active enough to win a decision. But more likely, Anderson Silva via KO, 2nd round.
Shawn: Everyone else in the MMA community has avoided the real reason Anderson Silva is the favorite in this fight: black people are better athletes than white people. Yeah, I know, I have giant balls just for bringing that up. Despite that, I’m still picking Forrest. Why? I thought it was obvious. He used to be a cop. Black people might be better athletes than white people, but white cops ALWAYS win against black people. You can put your money on that one. Forrest Griffin.
Jake: This fight makes no fucking sense to me. The fact of the matter is that the Middleweight division is overflowing with potential title defences, but meanwhile we have to watch Anderson slutting around at different weight classes. I would rather watch Silva take on Maia, Henderson or Marquart. Instead we get stuck watching a fight that makes no sense, and who’s outcome, while interesting, answers no question as to the skill of either fighter. If Anderson wins, everyone gets to repeat the line that he’s the best. If he loses, then he gets to shrug it off because it’s not his usual weight class. With that said, I think Forest is going to catch Anderson with something, even if I think he’s a longshot. Truthfully Silva has looked shitty in his past 2 fights, so consider me officially off his nuts. Forrest Griffin.
Rodriguez: Forrest 100% all the way USA. He’s going to shut down “Can-derson” after the tentative first round with his patented D.M.C. (devastating mat control). But seriously now, I didn’t see why I caught so much flack on the Wrestling Observer forums for picking Forrest to beat Shogun. A lot of the reasons I made that choice are the ones I can regurgitate here: He’s physically the biggest Light Heavyweight (now that Overeem is back up on his medicine), has a never-ending gas tank, giant reach and can kick well enough. Forrest is going to smother Silva on the floor for ten minutes — if not more — on his way to a fairly meh decision. Forrest by 29-28 unanimous decision.
Clint: I really hope Forrest wins because personally Anderson has used up all his bad ass collateral he earned before his last few fights. He looks like an asshole now and there is nothing I hate more than an asshole fighter… Tito and Matt H. I am looking at you. Call me a fickle fan or whatever but I really dont like the guy… doesn’t help he is a huge Michael Jackson fan. If Anderson comes into this fight looking like he did against Cote or Leites Forrest could get a win but that is really the only way.
Amir Sadollah vs Johnny Hendricks
Ryan: The voodoo curse Amir Sadollah has been suffering from since his TUF win will kick in again and cost him a decision loss against a desperate and generally one dimensional Hendricks. Yep, pretty crappy but what can ya do? Hendricks via Decision
Shawn: I was reading a thing about Hendricks before that involved his wrestling credentials and how he got into MMA and then I realized something: I literally don’t give any shits at all about that. Not one shit. Not two shits. Zero shits. Sadollah beat up a bunch of pretty decent fighters on TUF and Hendricks seems at about the same level as both of those guys. That Iranian-American (terrorist-american?) is going to submit this Hendricks motherfucker before the end of the first round. Sadollah in the first round with the submission.
Jake: After forever in injury limbo, Amir comes back to the cage, and no one really gives a shit. Maybe this lack of excitement is over the fact that we’ve been stuck watching his dead eyes and labored speech during those “Inside the Octagon” segments. It almost feels like the UFC was forcing us to slum with him, but until I see his performance in the Octagon, I really could care less about him right now. I was a fan when he beat CB Douche-away, but that was a million years ago. Johhny Hendricks is your standard fare “wrestler” who has shitty striking, g&p, and just about every tool that doesn’t involve lying on someone like a wet blanket. If Amir hasn’t forgotten his jits, he should do fine. Sadollah via submission.
Rodriguez: I haven’t actually watched very much of Hendricks, but I’ve seen enough of Amir to know he’s the real Lil’ Nogueira. The guy can be kicked, punched, knee’d, slammed and gassed but somehow pull out a win. But that’s when he’s healthy. No joke, Amir could submit a clip of his training sessions to America’s Funniest Videos if he wanted to win another reality show. As long as he makes it into the cage without injuring himself he’s going to be a force in the fight. He can’t be bargained with. He can’t be reasoned with. He doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And he absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead. Sadollah by submission, round 1.
Clint: Neither guy is really the experienced, Amir is 1-0, but I am going to go with mini Forrest on this one. He is just slicker than Johny in everyway except for faggy wrastlin’. Even there I bet he could do pretty well since he kicked dick lips Semen Dolloway’s ass. Sadollah.
Ricardo Almeida vs. Kendall Grove
Ryan: Almeida has some pretty slick grappling credentials, but he’s not exactly a BJJ finisher like Dustin Hazelett or Demian Maia. I expect this to be a back and forth bout – on the ground Almeida controls and on the feet Grove takes the advantage. I expect Grove to take the decision because Almeida (like most grapplers) will spend too much time on his back effectively controlling Grove but not doing much else. Grove via decision.
Shawn: Let’s get one thing straight: no one likes Kendall Grove. The guy is a decent fighter and has seemingly transformed himself into a mature individual. But there’s an old saying — “once a douche, always a douche.” I think Oscar Wilde or Mark Twain coined it. Almeida is a quality individual who knows all that crazy jiu-jitsu shit. Most people see Grove’s reach as an advantage in this fight; for Almeida, it just means he’ll have more arm to grab and twist into precarious positions. If Grove walks out with the W, I’ll eat my hat. Hell, I might even pay for your mother’s cab. Almeida.
Jake: I’ve underestimated Kendall before, and it’s come back to bite me in the ass. The guy seems to be steadily improving, and if he can get his Muay Thai off the ground, Ricardo is in serious trouble. Any motherfucker who has such a huge reach advantage on you is bound to be pretty dangerous. Both of these guys are trying to claw their way into contendership at 185, but I just don’t think they are there just yet. Ricardo just doesn’t impress me; a significant portion of his wins are via decision, and that’s rather embarrassing for someone who is talented on the ground. It’s just like being able to fuck a chick for hours but not being able to make her cum: am I supposed to be impressed here? Grove.
Rodriguez: I was in the camp that thought Grove fell off, but his win over Jason “INDEPENDENCE” Day was hardcore. He really reminded us that he’s got a lot of raw skill behind that hindrance of a chin. I don’t think I’d go as far as to say Kendall is a top-level fighter though; after all, he is the same guy who once got choked unconscious by a Featherweight. Ricardo Almeida hasn’t looked the greatest since his return, but his skill is still enough to deal with Grove. The biggest factor in this fight is the fact that I don’t care. As you can tell, I’m trying to fill this paragraph because I don’t have much to say about this fight. Middleweight beats a guy dropping down in his next fight anyway or a guy gets fired for losing to a guy dropping down in his next fight – who cares. Almeida by submission, round 2.
Clint: Jesus Christ why is Kendall still fighting? I was hoping he was dead already in some kind of Hawaiian Meth bust or maybe even volcano accident. The only thing he has is Dhalsim’s reach and a lousy chin. But Ricardo is the BJJ master right? Maybe except he hasn’t really been lighting the world on fire lately with anything but stink bombs. Meh.
Josh Neer vs. Kurt Pellegrino
Ryan: I’m gonna do a little bit of fucked up selective MMA Math here, and I fully admit it’s probably retarded but bear with me: Pellegrino was whupping Nate Diaz till he gassed hardcore and got subbed out. Nate Diaz also beat Neer, but it was a close thing. So I’m giving it to Kurt based on his pre-gassing performance against Nate. I guess we’ll see how that dopey equation pays off in the cage. I predict Pellegrino via unanimous decision.
Shawn: “Batman” vs. “The Dentist.” Fuck, we all know this will end up as FOTN or at least in the running. Neer has spent the last few months drunk-driving and learning to spell whereas Pellegrino has relocated his training camp and worked harder than he ever has. Neer is an incredibly tough fighter but I say “Batman” is going to rid Gotham City of the evil “Dentist.” HAHA! See what I did there?! C’mon! Whatever, I’m laughing. Pellegrino.
Jake: I have to be honest and admit that neither of these two fighters interest me very much. Neer is a drunken fool that is slowly allowing his personal life to spiral out of control, and Kurt strikes me as a tough but otherwise dumb carelss guy who’s idea of a “game plan” is to go out in bang. With that said, this fight will probably be a barn burner. If Pellegrino does a little bit of research (it actuall would take only about a minute), he’d learn that as tough as Neer is, he folds like Superman on Laundry day if you put him in a choke. Maybe he almost drowned in a lake or something as a kid, but in any case, if you have him in a rear naked choke, I guarantee you he’ll tap faster than The Lord of the Dance. Pellegrino.
Rodriguez: Yes yes yes! This is the kind of fight that could give even the most jaded fan goosebumps — and I don’t mean the books. I did a cartwheel when this fight was officially announced and my excitement hasn’t waned one bit. Believe me, August 8th is going to be like Christmas (with slightly less violence). This will be one of those matches you show your friends to get them into the sport. There’s no prediction here; just me being able to comfortably slip into my fanboy mode and straight-up enjoy something. AWESOME by making people remember why they like MMA.
Clint: Hmm Illiterate retard vs the kid from Deliverance? Tough call in my book. Both guy can take a punch and give one out. Neither is ever going to amount to anything but you know what that is ok with me. Sometimes you just need a few guys that will deliver a good fight on the under or maybe even main card. This is probably going to be fight of the night. I’m going with Neer simply because his nickname is better. Neer.