Here we go!
– Rogan gets “excited” by Machida. Gross!
Yoshiyuki Yoshida vs. Anthony Johnson
Now Rogan says Johnson is just “going to get thicker”. The homo is overflowing tonight.
Round 1: What the hell is Mazagatti wearing? Is that his Halloween costume? Johnson bk KO quickly. Jesus. Yoshida is still down. Well, they wanted to give him a KO and they succeeded. Looks like they’re wiping tears from Yoshida’s eyes.
Result: Johnson by KO in round 1.
– Knee injury? KNEE INJURY? Shut the hell up with all that. Nothing is more frustrating than that. God.
– Now Joe is saying he wants a porn ‘stache. Something is going on with him tonight.
Spencer Fisher vs. Joe Stevenson
Fisher is really excited for his sponsors. If winners were decided by entrance music, Fisher wins because Stevenson comes out to some Black Eye Peas. We need will.i.am in his Eazy-E era again.
Round 1: No glove touch. Fisher pressing forward hardcore. Neither landing nothing until Fiser hits a good straight. Stevenson goes for a takedown and Fisher is having none of it. Hes too busy bleeding FROM THE EYES to be taken down. Been against the fence for while. Break by Herb Dean and Fisher wipes his eyes out. Fisher landing good but Stevenson takes his back. Finishes the round on top throwing punches.
Round 2: Now tey touch gloves. Nothing going on. Stevenson goes for a takedown and finally gets it. Fisher with the Florian elbos from the bottom. Stevenson with elboed that look like the ones he hit Yves Edwards with. He drops back with a leg lock and then goes back to top. He gets mount for a split second and Fisher gets him back to half. Stevenson’s elbows are gross. Fisher looks like he’s eating too many shots. Joe gets a crucifix and it’s OVER. Those were nasty elbows.
Result: Stevenson by TKO in round 1.
Chael Sonnen vs. Yushin Okami:
Round 1: Okami getting bullied with suplexes and durrty boxing. Everything always comes back to how strong he is, though, with Rogan. Sonnen is just dominating. “No better place to ‘come’.” says Joe. Sonnen is landing almost evrythingt he throws and Okami looks frustrated.
Round 2: Sonnen comes out hardcore and he’s landing everyting. Okami’s weak stand-up is being exposed. He’s just bullying him. FOOT STOMPS by Sonnen! Okami scrambles back to the feetbut can’t do anything. Sonnen finally hit by some punches. Okami is just cracking under the pressure Sonnen is pouring on him. Now Okami is just laughing at his own frustration. Spinnin heel kick by Sonnen ends the round.
Round 3: Sonnen in Okami’s face in seconds. Okami stuffs a takedown that Sonnen stopped halfway through to throw punches. More clean, repetitive punches land easily for Sonnen. Sonnen dumps him down and gets the back. Okami getting bombed on the bottom. Okami going for a Kimura like in the Franklin fight. Sonnen just crushing the body of Okami and forces him to let go. Sonnen drops Okami in mid-air because of the bell. Absolute domination by Sonnen.
Result: Sonnen by unanimous decision.
Gleison Tibau vs. Josh Neer
Goldberg just said Tibau’s goal is “world domination”. Does that officially make him a super-villan? Neer out to some Tupac; “Can’t C Me”. Represent!
Round 1:Gigantic dump by Tibau. Neer gets back up and he still walks forward. Nice leg kick by Neer. Jesus, another giant takedown almost through the cage by Tibau. Rosethanll doesn’t see Neer’s fage grabbing? God. Neer drops his mouthpiece and puts it back in without a rinse lke a man. Tibau gets a takedown and tries a retarded pass that Neer gets up from immediately. Neer takendown again. Tibau gets a guillotine and lets go. Tibau starts landing on the feet at the end of the round. Neer is wincing badly.
Round 2: Tibau gets another takedown and Neer slips up wth some breakdancing move. Tibau with another takedown. Twitter banter. Tibau taken down again and Neer is doing anything resembling offense. Tibau gets full mount and then Neer’s back. HE almost gets a frlying armbar by Neer gets on top. and then they’re up. Tibau punching like he’s underwater. Round over.
Round 3:Another Tibau takedown. Neer scrables up an starts landing bombs. Nice inline elbow by Neer, and he has now successfully stuffed a takedown. Neer is just shrugging Tibau to the side. Tibau finally gets a takedown. Neer’s tape comes off, ref stops it and everyone else realizes that’s stupid. Tibau kicking Neer’s leg and gets another takedown. And another. Meh.
Result: Tibau by unanimous decision.
Cain Velasquez vs. Ben Rothwell
Eric Schafer still bleeding from the nose. Velazquez gets a cheap pop coming out to a cancion de Mexico.
Round 1:Velasquez gets a suck sweep takedown and then drives Rothwell against the cage. He just dumps Ben again. Both tag each other with punches and Velasquez bullies him sown to north-south position. Side control and Rothwell powers up. Anoter slick trip and brutal elbows from side control by Cain. He’s just dominating. Full mount by Vain and then he stands up for giant sick punches. Knee on neck and brutal punches form mount. I’m uncomfortable watching this. He takes Ben’s back and sumps him upside down. Ben’s head is beet read. Blood all over the mat and they stand to end the round. Jesus. Rothewell walks back to his corner looking like a rape victim.
Round 2:Velasques gets the back and does some sledgehammer uppercuts to Rothwell. Rothwell just crawls to the cage with Cain on his back and gets stopped with sick punches. Rothwell is complaining but he should shut up and be lucky it wasn’t stopped in the first. Gruesome stuff.
Result: Velasquez by TKO in round 2.