So, the girlfriend was complaining that you never have money to go out and do anything. “I’m sick of paying for you to get drunk and pass out on top of me,” she said. “If I knew I would be dating a broke loser, I would have at least picked someone half-decent looking,” she said. “No, I’m not giving you my credit card so you can use it to buy me a ‘sexy’ Christmas present,” she said.
You told her that was all about to change. You had a “gut-feeling” that guy Brett Rogers was going to upset the pudgy Russian dude. You were so sure that you put the rent money and the money for Grandma’s pills on it. Then that Russian dude did what he does best: destroy hopes and dreams while giving less of a fuck than Nick Diaz.
And here we are. A week later and a chance to make it all right. Here are the betting lines for this weekend’s UFC 105 card, courtesy of BetUS.com. As always, half-assed analysis after the jump.
Randy Couture -120 vs. Brandon Vera -110
Mike Swick -225 vs. Dan Hardy +180
Denis Kang -125 vs. Michael Bisping -105
Matt Brown -155 vs. James Wilks +125
Aaron Riley -200 vs. Ross Pearson +160
Absolutely do not bet against: Randy Couture.
Do I need to explain this? Yes, Couture is 46. Yes, he’s currently on a two-fight skid. Yes, he’s cutting down to 205 for the first time since 2006. Yes, he’s facing a younger and faster opponent who is hungry for a contender spot. But he’s also Randy Fucking Couture. He’s gone into fights with questions like these looming over his head before and come out, miraculously, with the W. I bet Brandon Vera’s own mother isn’t putting money on this one. It ain’t personal; it’s business.
Underdog pick: Ross Pearson.
I almost went with Dan Hardy here, but I think Swick’s well-rounded skills and “quick” hands will ultimately prove to be too much for the Brit. I could be wrong, but who the fuck knows. As for Pearson, his skill-set wasn’t super impressive during TUF, but he did manage to beat some decent up-and-comers en route to his victory. Riley is a tough guy with wins over the likes of Jorge Gurgel, Michihiro Omigawa, and Alexandre Barros, but he’s also the type of journeyman fighter perfect for a prospect like Pearson to feast on. You might ask “Why Pearson for the underdog pick and not Wilks?” I’ll tell you why: because Matt Brown is going to fuck his shit up. Matt Brown drinks the tears of baby seals and only eats raw panda flesh. True story.
Toss up: Bisping vs. Kang.
A few years ago, the general consensus here would be “Kang by murder.” But after a few inconsistent performances, it’s now a different story. Despite what his critics might say, Bisping’s skill set is still improving and he has the tools necessary to be a legitimate contender. Both guys have had outstanding performances in the past and both guys have had “WTF?!” moments — Kang when he left himself open for a guillotine against Alan Belcher, Bisping when he circled right into Hendo’s devastating right hand. Whoever shows up and doesn’t make a silly mistake will win this one. Who that will be is anybody’s guess.