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UFC 98 drunk comments

I just watched the fight a few hours back. After running out of my own beer, I drank whatever beer my girlfriend had and then grabbed a few beers from my friend’s house. I have now resorted to pulling old Natty Lights out of the fridge in order to write this post before passing out. In any case, here are a few comments concerning the UFC 98 results I  would like to make while in my drunken stupor. Also, fuck you. No seriously, fuck you. Your Affliction shirt and TapOut gym bag are both gay. Yeah, I know my jokes are shitty, but so are your hobbies. You need to stop checking these MMA blogs every 7 minutes and find something else to do. Also, move out of your mother’s basement.

Sean Sherk needs to stop being a dumb fuck

Let’s face it: whether or not you are a fan of Sean Sherk, the guy has amassed a solid-as-fuck record in this sport. While Frank Edgar is no slouch, there is no doubt that Sherk could have potentially been awarded a much different outcome if he attempted a gameplan that utilized a few more takedowns and less “stiff shitty boxing.” I’ve said many times over the past few months that Sherk’s boxing has improved, and while that may be true, it doesn’t mean shit when “improving” means going from “absolutely terrible” to “decently mediocre.” Fuck whatever I’m saying. Point is, there’s a happy medium between “boxing match” and “wrestling match” that Sherk needs to find in his next fight if he wants to keep his job. Finishing the fight would help, too. The Sanchez-Guida loser makes sense as his next opponent, as does a UFC newb if management feels kind.

Good for you, Krztysotofoffas

I have no idea how to spell Szoysniskissiks’s name and I’m not about to fucking google it, but the guy has stepped his game up. At the same time, at 3-0 in the UFC’s 205lb division he is about to given a higher quality opponent, at which time he will be thoroughly dominated. If “The Polish Experiment” comes out victorious (which I hope he does) I will eat my words, but everything indicates that he will be eaten by the Jon Jones’ and Luiz Canes of the world.

Fuck you, Hughes

Let’s face it (again): Hughes and Serra was a toss up no matter how you look at it. Those guys fought tooth and nail and Hughes was awarded the deicison because the judges favor top control. In any case, he’ll be matched up with a welterweight standout like Jon Fitch or Josh Koscheck in his next bout and get literally beaten to a pulp. Realistically, he and Serra should continue getting matched up until one finishes the other.

Lyoto Machida practices witchcraft and I’ve seen it

Machida drinks his own piss. Then again, so does Luke Cummo — and he didn’t fare that well in the Octagon. I’m guessing Machida’s success had more to do with his ridiculous traning regimen as opposed to the fact that he consumes his own urine. In any case, this guy has been absolutely unstoppable since the very beginning of his fight career and is finally hitting his stride. If he’s able to finish Rampage then he has a case as the top P4P fighter in the world. Then again, Rampage is an extremely tough opponent. If I was him, I would send loads of free cases of Red Bull to Rampage’s house with signs that say “DRINK ME!”

The future looks bright

Upcoming fights like Wand v. Franklin, Lesnar v. Mir, GSP v. Alves, Hendo v. Bisping, Anderson v. Forrest, Penn v. Florian, and Couture v. Nog are absolutely fucking awesome. I can’t wait. I can’t tell if my boner is from thinking about those fights or from thinking about those pictures your mother sent me but I’ll be in the bathroom if you need me.